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BM just left weird message

hismineandours's picture

Bm just left a message stating that she was having a "situation" with her dd15 and a boy on facebook and that this boy is also friends with my dd13 on facebook and she asked me to call her back and discuss this situation. Saying, "you know my number". I have not spoke to this woman in over 5 months and her last words to me were instructions to never "put her son out like a dog again". (I offered to let him wait outside for her to pick him up 5 minutes before her arrival). I have never called her phone number although I guess it might be on my caller ID but I have no desire to get up and look.
I asked my dd13 if she knew anything about it-(bm said the name of the boy) my dd admitted that she was friends with this boy but had no idea who it was-thought it was a boyfriend of bm's dd. DD is friends with bm's dd-this is a recent development in the last month or so. I really had no problem with them being "friends" as I have no argument with this girl nor does my dd. I can't imagine what the "situation" is or why it would even involve my dd. My dd has never spoken to this boy on facebook-they've literally been "friends" a couple of days. I removed him from her friends list and gave her the lecture on never friending anyone you dont know (she seems to think she "knows" someone if they are somebody's exboyfriends sister's cousin). I do monitor her facebook multiple times daily and I've never seen any conversations with this boy or with bm's dd for that matter.
So anybody think I should call her back? I really have no intention of doing so just wondered if anyone thought it might be a good idea?

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

And just what, exactly, would she like you to do about the "situation"? Is she not able to parent her own child? Does she expect you to shake your daughter like a ragdoll until she blurts out some valuable tidbit of information? Sweat her under hot lights a la Law and Order:Criminal Intent? Maybe play good cop/bad cop and scare the dickens out of her?

*snore* Blow her off. Do you think she would pee on you if you were on fire? She wouldn't.

sixteensmom's picture

Oh I love this and I love your comments. I wouldn't pee on u if you were on fire. That's my new motto.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Another favorite of mine, and it's sometimes more applicable to the context, is: "I'd rather drink turpentine and piss on brushfire." As in "No". A word so many BMs think simply doesn't apply to them.

Ours is learning. Slowly but surely. It's like housebreaking a puppy. You keep rolling up the newspaper and whacking them, and eventually, all you have to do is pick up the newspaper, and they stop what they're doing.

hismineandours's picture

The only thing I could possibly think is that this guy is some sort of creeper and she was "warning" me of this? If I knew that was all it was I wouldnt mind calling her back. But everytime I think this chick is harmless she blindsides me with some sort of verbal attack. And-although my dh is out of town and is hard to reach-he does check his messages almost daily and she could have certainly notified him if she just wanted to impart a friendly warning.

somerg's picture

heee haw....i sure wouldn't. we had a fcbk issue with my oldest ss and all kinds of internet problems...she set up an e-mail account in google without telling anyone, and because i helped her set up her yahoo she does not get internet privelages at our house and her yahoo got deleted by me...she flat out told her mom she didnt' set up up the google account even though BLACK AND WHITE e-mail for google verification that she had already checked was RIGHT THERE, and the argument of how can i give you the password if i don't know it and bm decided "someone tapped into her account" WHO the hell is going to tap into an e-mail address to set up another address in google???!!! sd gave bm 'feel sorry for me puppy' face and bm bought it, so when she asked ME later if she could get online i told her no because she wont come clean to the e-mail problem.....O WAIT I REMEMBER NOW!!! uh huh, tell your mom you lied to her face and we'll consider it, she still hasn't done that, and bm lets her back online

o and oldest sd saw me set up MY dd an e-mail address and decided it wasn't fair to the youngest and tried to talk her into getting an e-mail address set up without permission, i told her myself, that since my daughter is MY daughter and she is not, i will give my daughter permission for what i feel she deserves, and she can talk to HER mom and dad about her permission's. i told her i've tried givign you permission myself and you've abused it everytime'

sorry guys i'm having a bust right now

hismineandours's picture

I made ss a facebook last summer. He didnt really get on it too much-every once in awhile at our house as he told us he didnt have internet access at home. One morning I got up and saw his status was F*** I hate everyone. It was just embarrassing. Dh called him and ss said someone must have hacked into his account. Yeah, ok. Someone took the time to hack into your account and write one status update and that's it. I think dh still believes it. Strangely, ss has now made his own facebook account and can get on it regularly (this despite him telling us he had no internet access)and strangely his very first status was very similar to the one "someone" else put on there although he did leave out the curse word.

hismineandours's picture

I guess in some ways I am also somewhat insulted? Not sure if that's the right word for it-but my dh has been gone for 6 weeks and the only communication we have had from ss is a message stating tell my dad I am trying to get ahold of him. SS was told by dh that if he wanted to come visit us he probably could (dh didnt discuss this with me) but he has made no contact. Nor has he contacted us through facebook-he's had his account for about a month and he's made no effort to contact us that way. My dh has told him he needs to call us and keep in touch with us and he has refused. BUT, because bm has an issue with HER daughter she has no problems calling here and leaving messages. IDK if it even makes sense why it bothers me, but it does. I dont get calls from ss, about ss, nothing, but I get one regarding bm's dd?

hismineandours's picture

That's a good way to think about it Finey. It's really rather ridiculous. I guess that's why I am puzzled. Although bm has certainly been ridiculous at times it just seems bizarre that she would contact me because she has a problem with her dd. I sure as heck dont get contacted when ss has a problem nor would my input or involvment be appreciated if I tried to call her up and discuss my ss. I've got nothing to do with her dd and she has nothing to do with mine-nor do the girls have anything to do with one another aside from knowing who the other is and sharing a step/half brother.

Mother_of_four's picture

My logical thought: I would say don't worry about it and ignore the message. You discussed it with your child and that is what is important.......

Now the curious part of me says call her....Only for curious reasons Smile