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BM asserting her domination

starfish1012's picture

Submitted by starfish1012 on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 5:29pm

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General Discussion

ok just to preface: ihateherihateherihateher.

ok. so. my SS4's BM just recently was awarded unsupervised visitation (which is an issue in and of itself) and ever since, when she comes to pick him up she literally picks him up and walks away--doesn't let us say goodbye, hugs, kisses, NADA. me and DH end up running after her to get a hug out of the little one.

it's bull.

also. for someone who says they cannot afford child support, bringing SS4 back with bags of toys and food isn't really appropriate, right?

the question is: how do we, as SMs and our biological partners, show the non-custodial parent that WE are in charge, not her/him.

i'm scared to say anything because the B**** (sorry, had to) starts a screaming match over everything, even in front of the little one.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 5:42pm

You proove that you are in charge by creating a loving, supportive home and family for your children (step/bio/etc...) and by having a strong marriage as an example to your kids. BM may be able to send home Oreos and Peeps and some toys but she can't give the kids what you and DH can until she makes a huge life altering dicisions on how she lives her life. Which is highly unlikely.

As for child support, keep her dead beat ass in front of the court. Eventually they will nail her for CS and back CS if she does not pay.

She knows that she is inferior. All you have to do to keep control is always keep in mind that the kids are raised in YOUR home and BM has absolutely no say in what goes on in your home.

Since she has little time compared to your ..... you really are in control.

That is why she is doing what she is doing. So she can try to convince herself that she is in control and making a contribution. She knows the truth .... so do you and DH and someday so will the Skids.

Best regards.

hardsourapple@yahoo.com's picture

Submitted by hardsourapple@y... on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 8:19pm

What work for us is to say goodbye, give hugs and kisses before they even go out the door. You don't have to open the door until you say goodbye, as for the toys and stuff keep tabs and every time you go to court make sure you take the list with you and point out that she can do this why can't she pay you. They can be tough to work with but do whatever possible not to fight in front of the little one, even if it involves when she starts yelling to tell her to have a good day and walk away. It is not worth it.