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Anyone else get that sickening, heart pumping, over anxious feeling when the BM/BF calls?

MrsDaisaku's picture

Well guess what... the ex just called! Everytime she calls i get that horrible feeling of dread, heart starts pumping, i feel queasy and apprehensive (and thats not great after you've eaten), just wondering to yourself, WHAT NOW?

Do you get this feeling? If you do, how do you cope with it, if at all?

WifeVersion2.0's picture

Yep, sure do! I take deep breaths and try to find something to occupy myself with. Usually it involves cleaning something! I find that to be a great distraction!! Then I continue cleaning while DH explains the crisis of the moment! Result = Clean Kitchen, Calm Wife, Happy DH!

dguiwh2334's picture

Yes I admit, I get it often! I think when I see that BM is calling or texting, I think of her...her face, her voice, and her pure..nastiness! Lol.. She just disgusts me.. She will find any and every reason to call or text my BF! UGH its annoying, maybe in time that will fade.. We can only hope Smile

ucandoit's picture

OMgosh for sure we have a code name for the bm/egg donor.... we call her "ZILLA" cause she breathes fire and destruction & she stomps around screaching and the town runs away in horror...HA Just breathe sistah... the tornado will be over in just a minute Smile Remember if you were not such a terrible threat to her self esteem she would not roar the way she does so do not ever forget that you have more power than you think. Smile

Rags's picture

Nope, I get excited because I can bare their moron asses yet again.

Though I know it is difficult to make this transition, I recommend learning to enjoy shining as much light as possible on the blended family opposition when they get stupid.

I think of it as turning a light on in a cockroach filled room. The roaches scurry for the dark corners. Let BM bask in the light of your happiness. She will wilt and scurry for the dark corner of her patheticness (if that is a word).

I have come to look at proving the constant moronic dipshititis of the SpermClan as a sport. I have gotten very good at it and I truly enjoy it.

You might as well learn to bask in your superiority to BM. After all, she has nothing of your DH but his past. You are his present and his future.

The kids are His kids as much as they are hers. That gives you a whole lot of control and influence to excert when she gets stupid.

Whe she calls answer with a breathless laugh and tell her "Just a minute. We were in the middle of something." Then go make some happy sounds in the background for a few minutes until DH picks up the phone.

Do this every time she calls. Doing this while the kids are at your house will drive her nucking futs.

The ultimate venue to show off your happiness is at kid events (Sports, band concerts, summer school trips, etc....). Go, support your SKids and your DH, participate and have fun. Don't let BM cause you any issues. Even is she gets stupid, continue being happy and say something along the lines of "BM, I am so sorry that you cannot be happy for your children and that you incist on trying to rain of everyone's parade while all these families are here to support the kids".

That will drive BM absolutely insane.

And you will just keep getting happier as the quality of your family relationships and marriage grows.

Best regards.

MsPerception's picture

Awesome post Rags!! "tell her to hold on we're in the middle of something and put the phone down and go make happy noises" Now, if he would stop leaving the room when she calls-like theres something to hide?

MrsDaisaku's picture

LMAO my partner just read the part about the darf veder ring tone, laughed alot and is now in the process of seeing if he can do the same. I think this is something that could catch on. AND IT WOULD MAKE ME SMILE! Smile

Rags, that really was funny! I feel a new website being created.... the 'HOW TO' survive the step years...!! Copyright to rags lol

dguiwh2334's picture

Rags and Mugglemom, you two crack me up, your the reasons I stay on this site! I love it hahaha.. I sooo wanna answer his phone like that next time! I've said similar things via text before.. Funny stuff!

MsPerception's picture

Apparently kids' dad's ringtone for me is the theme from Halloween? Mine for him is "Gives You Hell"

starfish's picture

rags --- awesome post -- i hope to grow & learn from your examples...

mrsd, i don't get nearly as sick to my stomach when bm calls as i do when skids are coming! in the past i did get that feeling you are speaking of when she called, it's just another one of those things that after time it doesn't seem to bother me as much as it did in the beginning...

listen to rags, he's right on the money with this one!

WifeVersion2.0's picture

My husband's ringtone for his ex is also the Death March (Darth Vader song). Makes me giggle every time!

Mrz. Virtuous's picture

I do get an uneasy feeling when my skid BM calls. I have over time learned to pray turn it over to God and let Him work it out. The truth of the matter is I don't have deal with mess and I pray my DH realizes though pray that his doesn't have to deal with mess either because when the BM does call that is all it is, is a bunch of mess and nonsense.

MrsDaisaku's picture

Great advice from everyone there... i was getting the mother to drop his girls off at work so i didnt have to see her sorry face. But now i'm thinking what the heck, BRING IT ON! Maybe ill put the mp3 player on with the death march?? lol

ohxitsxapril's picture

Bm doesn't call dh that much, if she does, I don't really feel sick, its jus when we go to pick up sd at the halfway point that I start feeling queasy. She jus makes me SICK. I get kinda mad at that feeling too its like she's controlling me in a way grrr but I know I'm happier than she'll ever be she's jus a bitter hag!

dguiwh2334's picture

In addition, last night BF and I were dropping off sd4 to BM.. I was driving and we were about 10 mins away and we stopped for gas.. Well BF was out pumping the gas and BM was calling.. I looked at his phone and saw it was her and answered before he could open the dooor! "Hello?" She was like "um, hello?" I said, "yes hello!!" Haha, and she asked for BF, "oh, hold on" hehe then he got on the phone, from what she was saying I could tell she was irritated that *I* answered and not my BF.. It might be small, but I was laughing.. I said to him, "I don't think she liked me answering your phone! We both laughed.. She is a scank! She also hates it when she is texting BF and I reply for him, she always knows it me cause I'm a pro at putting sarcasim in texts Smile hehehe

JesseGirl's picture

It's been years, and to this day, I still get it. AND I'm on good terms with BM now. But, it's been a very long road. I mean, it was so bad at times that I had a restraining order out on her. So, I supose that it's only natural that I still have anxiety every time the phone rings. Now, instead of her calling and just being hateful, she's calling to help co-parent the kids. Sometimes it gets better!