Always a new issue
Things have not improved much with SS. It’s just new issues now.
DH and BM sat down with a Church counselor in our town and laid out some rules. These “rules” are enough to be a whole other blog. But BM has stopped following some of them within a week.
Two rules/agreements were that if SS had a party or event on the weekend he needed to inform both parents so it can arranged for him to go. The other rule was that SS needed to make sure he brings all his school supplies to our house. DH would no longer be driving back and forth. DH already decided to provide SS clothes at our house so he doesn’t need to pack a suitcase. He only has to bring his school things. These rules were explained very, very clearly to SS.
The first weekend after the rules were established, SS said he forgot a textbook that he needed for homework. DH tries to be firm and tells SS that he needs to deal with the consequences. SS immediately calls BM and on speakerphone she says it’s her fault because she moved a bag or something. I don’t even know what the reason was. So of course, DH ends up driving back because he doesn’t want to look like an unreasonable person.
And last weekend, SS had a party to go to on Saturday but forgot to tell DH. Again, DH tried to explain about consequences. And again BM calls him up saying that she was supposed to tell DH and it’s her fault. But this time we already had plans for lunch.
DH decided to enforce the rule because SS did not inform him. All it ended up doing was ruining our Saturday because SS was angry and was snapping when we tried to engage him. There was too much tension at the table to even pretend like we were having fun. DH spent the rest of the day wishing he dropped off SS.
SS has also started completely ignoring the dog and refuses to do any of the assigned tasks each child got related to dog care. None of us even mention the dog around SS because we know he will just leave the room. Even my kids are doing this without anyone telling them to. I can tell DH is getting resentful of the dog, even though it was his idea to get the dog in the first place.
SS now barely talks to DD because he is blocked on her instagram. She is very upset that he is not friendly with her anymore. This makes me the saddest actually.
SS is also ignoring DH’s texts/calls when he is with BM. And he is doing the same to BM when he is with us. DH does not know how to address this.
DH made an appointment with a therapist in BM’s town for tomorrow. Now that we have more information leading up to his attitude change, DH is hopeful the therapist can help better. And BM actually agreed to pay half.