Alone with BM
So, I won't exactly be alone as it is is SS4's soccer practice but I still feel like I'm walking in alone. I love SS more than anything and just want the best for both him and SO. Well, I suggested getting SS into some sports so that he can better learn to interact like other children as he has never been to day care and is having trouble adjusting a little bit in Pre-K (he is just shy). He is a very active child and loves to be outside so we thought why not. SO contacted BM and she said it was a wonderful idea but she didn't have any funds so she didn't think SS could do it. SO picked up her slack and said he would not only pay for registration but also the cleats,shingaurds, ball, socks, uniform etc. I had absolutley no problem as it is the best for SS.
Well SO asked me if I would take the stuff up to practice today and meet the coach (SO told the coach to call me if we needed to provide snacks not BM because she is low on funds and she agreed it would be ok). I don't mind as the coach told SO his second wife also wanted to be involved (I mainly do it because SO encourages it and at this point SS and I have a wonderful relationship though I know it could change at anytime) so he knows a bit about being a situation like ours. This eases me a little but I am still nervous as I assume BM will have herself, her mom (goes everywhere with her), her eldest son and SS and it will just be me. My MIL told me she would stop by on her way to her friends house and neither her nor I get to see SS while SO is offshore. This eases me a bit as at least for a slight while I will have a part of what I consider my family there. Though, earlier this morning SO text me and told me that when SS talked to him this morning he told him he wanted Ms. SB to be at his practice - which makes me excited but if I was a mother I know it would irk me if my chihld asked and said he wanted another woman at practice.
I know that I will keep my mouth shut and be the bigger person and if I feel to uncomfortable I have my car so I can leave. I have interacted with BM before but SO was always there and she would tiptoe on the line of disrespect and has even crossed it a few times in which he defended me. I have never dealt with BM alone though and am just scared she will test my boundries which I am prepared for but I just hope for the best as SS wants us both there...and she already said she doesn't mind me being there.
Not really a rant I'm just nervous and needed to get it off my chest....SO is to far offshore for me to able to call him right now and I'm hoping he will get service before practice.
If you're going to go, I
If you're going to go, I would take a book or magazine or whatever and stick my nose in it and look up and SS every now and again. That way BM won't be encouraged to chat.
She may be less inclined to
She may be less inclined to speak to you without SO there as an audience. Just be exceedingly polite and sit far away.
Does your SO go offshore for military duty?
My SO works on a ocean going
My SO works on a ocean going oil barge (3 weeks at work;3 weeks home). He will be home next week in time for the first game.
I typically read books on my iPhone so that was my plan. I was going to try to only stay a little bit but I want SS to know though dad isn't there and he requested me I do want to be in his life. Like I said I plan to read my book and keep my distance and when we is around "kill her with kindness" as my SO tells me to do. I'm hoping that she will either be less inclined to talk or will be a little nice because he isn't there.
I'm just nervous but know in my heart I can do it and it is the right thing - like I said the coach knows BM and I will both be there.
I always thought BM would be
I always thought BM would be a terror when I was stuck around her without DH. Actually, it's the opposite. I've never had a problem. I second the ideas so sit far away and bring something to occupy yourself.
Turned out fantastic!! I was
Turned out fantastic!! I was nervous and started to have an anxiety attack right before it started. I got there right after the coach and introduced myself again. Shortly after she showed up and once I saw SS my fears and anxiety all went away because I was reminded it was bout him. She got out and walked over to my car to get the stuff - I didn't think anything of it and told SS to sit in my car to change shoes and stuff apparently she saw the booster seat and wanted him to sit in his little lawn chair, not a big deal to me. Though what did make it awkward was the whole gang as I imagined was there.
I tried to sit on the other side, SHE moved my stuff to the other side of the field by her. I sat down cordially and she made her stupid little jokes I laughed. We somewhat got along she did undercut me when she took a schedule for herself while I was away but the coach saw through that and as I was walking back past him made a comment his wife was off to the side so I could get on. Funny part is the reason I wasn't around when she was handing them out was because I was trying to help and be involved - I love little kids and want SS to be the best without pushing him to hard or being overbearing. And she legit just sit in her chair the whole time maybe said something to SS once or twice compared to my trying to help and telling him that he as doing a good job and I was proud of him. I'm sorry but he's 4 and this his first sport you don't just send a kid out there and sit on your ass -- at least let him know he is doing a good job - not that she could see since she was to busy looking at the birds or something I dunno.
Overall I don't feel like I overreacted because she did make like one or two comments but nothing that big and it was all about SS. I am glad I went and am looking forward to seeing him again on Thursday and bringing more balls because the Y here didn't issue enough - yes I'm helping while she does nothing.
She also made no comments to DH when he called to tell SS goodnight so I guess either she realizes I'm here or knows it won't make a rats ass difference to say anything to him.