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advice !!!!

yiyiyi44's picture

My boyfriends child is a nightmare,she is eight and the rudest most unbehaved kid ive ever been around. She is spoiled, rude , disrespectful and all around a hard child to do things with. If we go out to do something fun she generally sulks in a corner until she is given the thinkg that she wants that day, mcdonalds and so on. My boyfried will not do anything to acknowledge her foul behaviour, his ex wife has already lost a few realtionships because the men she dates have kids and dont like her daughters behaviour. She can be really sweet sometimes but is manipulative to get things she wants (toys , candy) Ive never seen a child at her age use the tactics that she does to get what she wants. My boyfriend constantly asks mw to watch her when he has to go do things and I dont wish to because of her behavior, I could get a lot more detailed into this but have kept it short, what should i doÉ My boyfriend is not an easy one to talk to about his child

hereiam's picture

We can tell a lot about a person by what kind of parent they are. So, is this the kind of guy you want to be with?

There are difficult children out there, to be sure, but the fact that your BF does not do anything about his daughter's bad behavior, well, that says a lot. She uses manipulation because she has found it to work, most likely because it's easier for her parents to just give in to her.

So, her behavior will not get better, your BF will always expect you to watch her when he asks (and probably uses some type of manipulation, himself, to try to get his way), and you can't even talk to him about the situation. And there are more details that you left out in order to keep your post short. Sounds like fun.

Please re-think this.

sammigirl's picture

Fathers are never easy to talk to about their daughters, believe me, it will never change.

I have a SD58 and she has ALWAYS (37 years Smile played this game and still plays this game with "daddy". I know she and DH were to blame for DH's marriage with BM failing. You will never convince me of otherwise now that I watched SD and SGD (mother/daughter) in action.

If I were you, I would stay my distance. I would be busy, when he needs you to watch her. Be careful, because my SGGD6 lied to her mom (SGD32) about how I verbally disciplined her one day, while watching her. I have never watched this SGGD (now 10 yrs old) again. She lied, manipulated, and my SGD32 informed me to never discipline her again, she would handle it. Guess what? She can have the little manipulative brat; I am never around this girl without someone around and I've never watched her one minute since 4 years ago. It can lead to big trouble for you (criminal charges); so I stay away.

I don't make an issue of it, I just walk away from it and let DH handle his 3 generations of brats SD58, SGD32, and SGGD10. Not my problem and they are all manipulative and lie to this day.

Sorry.
(((hugs)))

thinkthrice's picture

RUN!!!!

somethingwicked's picture

Your boyfriend is a jerk.
That is all.
Using you to parent. You have no authority.
Don' t blame the child. Blame your bum father BF.

Kid is not being parented by the father.

Kid will spin out and get more extreme in her responses to you and to him.,too.
It never gets better alone without appropriate intervention by the parents.

AND she is NOT yours to fix ,never was but especially now as you already resent her from the faux mother role that your BF saddled you with..and you readily agreed .

Either you have a come to Jesus discussion with boyfriend about manning up and properly parenting and loving his child through appropriate parenting with all the rules and regulations to turn out a responsible, adjusted and loving human being as she grows or you get out of this .

yiyiyi44's picture

thank you all i think i needed to hear all this as it was what i have been feeling inside

yiyiyi44's picture

Its hard, shes a child , shes been developed from poor parenting from her two birth parents , I am pretty much on the route to breaking up with my partner, hes controlling and i know i need a better arrangement

Rags's picture

The solution is easy. No! Learn it, live it, love it, say it.... repeatedly. To your BF when he asks for you to watch his nasty spawn and to her when she deviates from reasonable behavior.