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13 yr.SS following me into the bathroom

Paint me wrong's picture

My 13 year old Ss followed me into the bathroom asking me what I'm doing. I said I'm going to the Bathroom can you step out please. He said you dont have to go to the bathroom I said walk out the door now! He wouldn't leave so I took him by the arm and escorted him out. I locked the door and he began to shove on it and jutted the door open but was still closed because of the lock. After almost peeing on myself after jumping off the toilet pulled myself together and opened the door and lit into him.I proceeded to go out and find his dad and let him know that this is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it. He said your right. Made him apologize later, which wasent much of an apology.

Next day talking w/ adults outside, asked for my hotspot on my phone, I said No after several times of Nagging and saying No he reaches into my pocket and grabs my phone and runs into the house. Next day I confront him in front of his Dad. He claims he never walked into the bathroom or asked what I was doing and denied pushing on the door. He then said he took the phone as a joke. I said that's not funny his Dad back me and lit into him spanked his rear end for being belligerent while telling me I was lying. He started crying after his Dad told him I know you would do that, you've done it to me. He then told SS to get out of the house and he ran outside. Later Husband wanted me to go and hug him. I later put my hand on his head and he pushed it off. Later that day while at work my husband texted to tell me he took him to go get new Jean's and socks and took him to an El Salvadorian restaurant to expand his culinary taste. I'm thinking WTF!!!!! I was mad and thought you rewarded him for lying and never made him apologize.

beebeel's picture

I don't hand out this advice at the first blog very often, but leave. The bathroom incident is very disturbing. At 13, he definitely knows that's super wrong, but he had zero problems doing it. Couple that with the fact he received zero consequences for doing it, this kid is going to assault you or worse one day. Please leave and never look back.

ETA: your bf is a terrible parent. First, you don't spank a freaking 13 year old. And making them apologize isn't a consequence. Bf is treating his kid like a preschooler and it's only going to get worse from here on out.

SteppedOut's picture

Yes, please heed this advice. 

This sounds exactly like something that would have happened with my formerSO and his deranged kid. 

FormerSO would "talk to kid", but then run out and buy some high cost item(s) because "kid felt bad". He didn't feel bad, honestly I'm certain he felt no empathy whatsoever. He did learn what emotions looked like to manipulate his dad though. The "look" of emotion would turn off and on like a switch. It was creepy to see. 

tog redux's picture

This is creepy, a 13 yo trying to break into the bathroom when you are in it. And your SO is a weird mix of almost-abusive (he hits a 13 yo on the butt and tells him to "get out of the house"? What did that mean, he was kicked out?) and coddling (he takes him out to dinner and buys him clothes?).

Ugh, I'd demand some sort of marriage counseling for you two and a therapist for SS, if you plan to stay.

Cover1W's picture

The kids actions are beyond weird, it's downright aggressive. He's testing to see how far physically he can go with you. Is he bigger than you now, or will soon be? I agrre that it will escalate. Esp. with your BF who doesn't have any repercussions.

Harry's picture

Your BM let his kid assault you.  And did nothing about it.  This is the great man of your dreams?  Yes that assault.  Never let crazy kid in your home again until hen gets help.  What most likely will do no good.  
start a care package for this kid when he gets put I nto jail 

Winterglow's picture

If he ever pulls a stunt like this again, call the cops and tell them what's happening and that you're scared. Let him know now how you will deal with him before this escalates any further. 


Rags's picture

Good for your DH for spanking this kids butt. However, the guilt shopping and dinner makes this entire shallow and polluted gene pool a complete write off.

Move on, go enjoy your life.  Do not have any further contact with any of them.