Stepson and Bioson
The most horrible thing has happened and I dont know if i will be able to deal with it. My stepson has accused my son of some bad things (sexual) granted it was supposed to happen almost 4 years ago. I feel like my world has come crashing down- this happened about 6 months ago but it is destroying everyone i have only been married for almost 4 years. Now everything is falling apart-seen my step children in the store the turn and almost run from me- we have my son in counseling and was told probably a experient thing. The ex has not taken my ss to get counseling so until he does he won't be allowed our home. And on top of all this she wants more money so she is taking us back for more.
So my son is in counseling and I am really embarassed about all this my mil knows of course but she told my sil and now my sil is coming up here and wants to get of course see her niece and nephew, but for right now me and my kids are left kinda on the outside-I didn't want my sil to even know only a select few on my side knows. This is causing such a wedge between my husband and myself-
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Have you sat down the boys
Have you sat down the boys and you, husband and biomom at one time and discuss this openly? I don't see why this has gotten to that point of everyone being embarrased about what happened. Maybe you all should talk about this openly and say maybe that what hapenned was experimental and that it is normal for children to go through this phase of being curious about their bodies and what not. (I don't know what he accused him of) Try borrowing some books that talks about children being curious about their body, I'm sure there are some suggestions in the book about this kind of situation. I think the worse thing is to ignore what happened. Let us know what happened, hope this helps.
I have talked to my son and
I have talked to my son and he denies anything- my ss is not allowed (by his mom) in the house so I have not talked with him. My husband has- but for the past 6-7 months my son has been in counseling just to be on the safe side. The agreement was that my ss would return to regular visitation once he went through counseling but that has not happened yet b/c his mom feels she does not have to take him- my husband has had to get a lawyer to threaten contempt on visitation, and the medical treatment (which includes the counseling) My ss was supposed to have a session last Friday but biomom was not feeling good so she did not take him.
I am dreading having the kids returning they have spent so much time away from us and with their mom- the way she is I have no idea what she has been saying to them. My ss is young enough where anything she says probably would influence him. And when the time comes I am also nervous about my ss being in the house, b/c everything or anythign my son does could be taken the wrong way.
I love my husband- but part of me just wants to take my kids and run. Because I feel my first priority is to take care and protect my kids I am all they have and this is affecting everyone. I know that is not the right thing to do and it would show a bad example but this is something that is going to be hanging over our head for a long time if not forever.
And for some reason I really really dislike his ex- she is money hungry and lazy. works about 10 hours a week and wants more money from my husband and is using this whole episode as an excuse. She gets free medical for the kids- used to get all the school clothes, glasses, contacts and some misc. stuff for this kids.
Thanks for letting me vent
It seems like you've done
It seems like you've done all that you can on your side with your son. The problem lies with the ex and her child. I'm sure ex is doing this on purpose, not going to counseling, not letting ss visit you guys and yes her son is probably brainwashed by now. I feel your frustration when you say you just want to run away and take your son away from all this. What about your husband? What does he say about all this? Have you told him how you feel and what is both your next step in dealing with this matter? It sounds like ex is not holding up her promise to have ss back into your house in the condition that your son goes to counseling. If you folks are going legal on this, I suggest you write a journal on all the stuff that has happened in case you need it for court. Hang in there, I hope you'll find a solution.