Who is responsible???
:?
Folks.
I need your advice/help.
BM carries insurance for her kids (it's better than BD).
Once she pays the first 100 dollars for each child (4 of them), the payments are set up 60/40 (60-dad, 40 mom).
She doesn't show us receipts or show any paperwork but complains that she's not getting her money. She sends text after text with screenshots of the shared parenting plan where it says he is responsible for 60/40.
He kindly asked her to give him the receipts and he will gladly pay her. It is now June and she's telling him that she's not responsible for getting the information for him. Yet anytime she gets mad she says how she has all of these items documented on a spreadsheet and she has "mountains of receipts."
but she won't show them.......
Does this apply to anyone else and how have you proceeded.
He said he'll pay her, but he needs receipts for his records.
ahhhhhhh help!
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I wouldn't give her a penny
I wouldn't give her a penny without the receipts. If she wants to drag him into court for nonpayment, I'm sure a judge would ask to see receipts as well.
he def won't pay her until he
he def won't pay her until he gets the receipts.
but she threatens that she has these receipts and yells at him for not paying her but won't show them to him. She told us on several occasions that she had some spreadsheet keeping records...
Yesterday, her new thing was "It's not my responsibility to gather them for you. You can call the Dr.'s Office yourself."
Well that doesn't help at all. lol
It is her responsibility to
It is her responsibility to gather them up for him.
BM tried this with college education costs. It took over 2 years, lawyers, mediations and a willingness to go to court on SO's part to get the financial documents.
She thought scribbling numbers on a piece of scrap paper (her outrageous numbers not actual numbers)was good enough. She found out it wasn't!
she will send random screen
she will send random screen shots of bills (not payments) that are dated months back. Like, wtf is that helping????
thank you. this really helps.
thank you. this really helps. I think she is really a squeaky wheel. She gets mad about one thing and he will get a slew of texts and screenshot from her.
so annoying.
just want to do our due diligence, love those kids and be left alone.
Honestly, whether it's 30
Honestly, whether it's 30 days.. or some other reasonable promptness... she needs to provide her backup for these costs.
I remember we questioned BM once because she was claiming some bill and I carry the insurance and there was no record of any visits that year. Turns out it was a 2 yo bill she was sitting on.
I also had the lovely fun of getting things straight when she wouldn't tell us about bills period. I would speak to a hospital about one bill and they would bring up some other much older billing too! Once I even had to get my DH's credit straight because she put him down as responsible party.. yet never told us about the vist.. nor the bills.
How frustrating!!! She won't
How frustrating!!!
She won't give us bills and she won't tell us about the kids' school things.
I hate this.
they DO have joint. And he
they DO have joint. And he does have access to the records. But that doesn't give him proof of payment for prescriptions and the like... just doctor's visits....
I just wish she would do what she needs to do.
Honestly, I think she doens't even come close the 100 for each child and just says that to scare him. ugh.
Does the parenting plan say
Does the parenting plan say what she is supposed to submit to him and when?
It seems to me that if she wants to get paid and has "mountains" of receipts, she would give them to him.
I don't think anybody (except BM) would expect him to just hand out money, with no proof that it is even owed. If she's not responsible for getting the information to him, who is? The man in the moon? The neighbor? The children? Maybe, the dog?
it says in a timely manner.
it says in a timely manner. Which is not defined. also, he told her he would not pay anything older than 30 days. She tried to submit something to him from 2016.
I wouldn't pay anything
I wouldn't pay anything toward the bills unless she has a receipt or something from the Dr office saying what is owed after insurance paid.
If she gets too snippy about it she can take it to court and a judge will tell her the same thing.
In our state, you must show proof of what is owed, send it by a certain date and allow a 45 days period for it to be paid. You can't just come at the BD with three years worth of medical bills and expect immediately payment. If you wait past a year and never asked for money before that time, then you are out of luck.
She can send of picture of
She can send of picture of the receipt just as easily to him; no money without a receipt; no judge would expect you to do otherwise either.
Most CO's state that the
Most CO's state that the parent must send a receipt to the other parent within x amount of time after the appointment.
Other parent then has x amount of time to pay.
Our's tried to only send copies of the credit card receipts. Nope those don't prove anything. Has to be a copy from the doctors office.
In my DH's case BM didn't go
In my DH's case BM didn't go through the insurance that we provide for the skids and she used her DH's flex spending account and then expected DH to foot the bill.
It's true, a text or chicken
It's true, a text or chicken scratch on colored construction paper
is NOT a proper receipt. NOR is a receipt from Rite Aid because there is no telling who it was for.
Send her a certified letter return receipt requesting 'proper Bills and/or receipts from all doctors offices and eob's' .
THEN you call the doctors office for verification of charges. In the mean time DO NOT send money.
If you have to block your cell. For goodness sake when will people stop texting/allowing texting with x?
next,
Most Judges will expect custodial to make sure non custodial have full access to ALL medical and ALL education, religion too. Assuming your dh knows where the school IS it would then fall upon your husbands shoulders to call the school, talk to all teachers, set UP any and all access to grades, email access between your hubby and teachers, robo calls sent to dad/you about inclement weather, dances, fundraiser reminders. ALSO call the school for copies of progress reports and report cards mailed to your house.
You may also have to contact the school photographer to get your own school picts,,,,so be it.
Sadly some custodial refuse to follow court orders OR will not make it easy for non custodial.
Your Dh is doing exactly the
Your Dh is doing exactly the right thing IMHO. No proof of service, no money.
We were on the other side of this issue with the SpermIdiot and SpermCLan during our CO years. They were responsible for 50% of any medical expenses not covered by insurance. They never paid a penny. To this day we still mail them a big package of copies of receipts and a spreadsheet outline of the ~10K+ they owe us. Each time we mail it out we add penalties and interest to the spreadsheet (we use the IRS penalties and interest calculation formula). We send it delivery confirmation and we save that receipt. They know this is hanging over their heads and they know that if they so much as twitch in the wrong direction regarding how they behave towards SS-24... we will drag their asses to court for payment.