No SS cannot bring his friends to our Christmas Eve party
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Every year we have a small semi-open house get together on Christmas Eve. We invite friends, co-workers, offspring.
Today's dialogue:
DH: Is it OK if SS brings his friends over on Christmas Eve?
Me: What? No, of course not.
DH: :::pouting::: Well, your DD2 is bringing her boyfriend.
Me: They're a couple. She's not bringing a bunch of random girlfriends. You wouldn't like it if she showed up with Obnoxious Friend1, OF2, and OF3, would you?
DH: :::pouting some more::: I guess not. :::continuing to pout:::
Jeez.
Does the friend not have his
Does the friend not have his own place to be on X-Mas Eve? How old is SS?
SS is 26. The proposal was
SS is 26. The proposal was for SS26 to arrive with some random assortment of friends. No idea what else they might have been able to do on Christmas Eve.
Ooohhh I was thinking maybe
Ooohhh I was thinking maybe it was someone younger with maybe parents that were working and the kid had no where else to go... ya know the Christmas spirit and all.
Nah. Even I am not that mean.
Nah. Even I am not that mean. And if SS26 had a GF, I would not fight his bringing her. But here the proposal is for the nice, quiet little get-together that I cook and clean for to be invaded by a bunch of doodz. No thanks.
ETA: This was in response to you, ZSD.
Well you evil SM! You are
Well you evil SM! You are quite the Grinch! You don't want to cook and clean for grown men during the holiday?
I could understand a 'random
I could understand a 'random assortment' of friends being a big "no", but why not one invited guest? Whether a date or a same sex friend to give him someone to socialize with.
You said it's more a social open house rather than a family Christmas celebration gathering. Unless his 'friends' or people who you believe would be casing out your home and/or hot fingering your possessions into his/her jacket, of course.
I'm just asking. Curious on your reasoning of 'no' period. Not even one guest. I don't recall reading about this SS, he may be one who is lucky he, himself, gets through your front door. LOL. I'm just being nosy.
Oh, posting on a public forum
Oh, posting on a public forum is an invitation to nosiness, yes? No offense taken.
SS26 has, among other abuses, kicked one of my dogs, so for this and other reasons I would actually prefer that he not be here at all. But DH and all that. You make a good point about one invited friend, though. I'm trying really, really hard not to be such a hardass, so I will approach DH about this, apologetically, and thank you for raising the point.
Yeah.. I think one friend
Yeah.. I think one friend would be appropriate. My inlaws usually have get togethers around holidays like Thanksgiving where they have a big oyster roast and they extend invitations to a few friends in addition to the kids and grandkids. A few times if one of the grand kids wasn't in a relationship, they brought same sex friends so they had someone to socialize with. Of course, they were decent people that were invited.. no "gang of doodz".
DH approached apologetically,
DH approached apologetically, air cleared. Thanks again for the behavior check.
Hey, can I and some of my
Hey, can I and some of my friends come too?
You can come only if you
You can come only if you promise not to inhale all the chocolate truffles and pecan crescents and drink up all the beer.
I can't promise regarding the
I can't promise regarding the pecan crescents, they sound delicious.
Wait.. the kids don't know
Wait.. the kids don't know the concept of "family hold back?"
When I was younger and my parents would have people over, we were told to be polite in the food that we took and to definitely not eat a ton of certain things.
Shrimp, filet, smoked salmon or any other high cost and low supply item would be on the "family hold back list".
In other words.. save the nice things for our "guests".
Kids today know sh** I have
Kids today know sh**
I have the same complaint about my skids. I love to cook...and typically overdo it for our annual Christmas party. Skids always invite a pack of friends...and honestly I don't mind bc it keeps them entertained and out of my hair. The first year, they swarmed the dining room and started attacking the food AS I WAS PUTTING IT OUT and I was absolutely appalled. I had plenty...but it's also about presentation and having it LOOK nice for your guests...at least for a little while. I restocked and shooed them away. I honestly couldn't believe it. As a teen, I would probably have been HELPING my mom put out food for our party...and I probably would have snuck a bite or two while prepping and setting with my mom. I would never, ever have invited 5-6 friends and, without a single offer to help, have descended upon the food my mom was in the process of setting out, taking large platefuls and disappearing to the basement.
Since that first year, I've set ground rules about when skids and friends are allowed to come partake. And I've gotten a few pizzas for the basement about an hour before the party begins...
Yeah.. I was pretty shocked
Yeah.. I was pretty shocked when I went to my inlaws first oyster roast thing. Two of the nephews pounced as soon as the pot with the clams was brought out and basically sat there elbows flying eating them so fast that hardly anyone else had a taste of them.
Of course the in-laws just "love watching the boys enjoy themselves" but there are other people that don't enjoy fighting to get a bite of food. haha.
I'm with you - Christmas is
I'm with you - Christmas is for family and close friends, not who ever arrives.....
and yes if your Bio is in a relationship, then the bio will bring the partner, but random friends, Oh hell NO...
if you want to spend Christmas with your friends, go out and do so but not at my function...
One year Aergia tried this, think she was 14.... invited 9 friends, I laughed and said to her, oh hell NO... they are not invited, this is my party not yours, please tell your friends they have to go or I will.... you can imagine how this went down.... SO was a bit upset till I explained to him, we only catered for X amount of people.... why should invited guest go home hungry because your kid has the social skills of a rat.....
She left with her friends, I still did not care
Well, I'm loaded for bear at
Well, I'm loaded for bear at this point. I've said everything to DH I'm going to say about it. If SS26 shows up with anything but one friend--likely the one he's crashing with, since he's not crashing here ever again--I will simply not let them in. I am just that mean and nasty.
we would have family parties
we would have family parties and 20 something sds would bring all their friends who would drink a lot of alcohol and eat almost all the food. dh was a grinning idiot gushing so see his daughters and their friends having a good time.
If the co-workers offspring
If the co-workers offspring are invited, it doesn't sound like an intimate group anyway. When my skids want to bring extra friends along they are told it is a potluck that the friends are supposed to contribute a dish. In that case, the more, the merrier. It is an open house.
I find it kind of odd that a 26 year old would be hanging with his buddies that night. Sounds like a teenagers behavior.
Coworkers are in their 50s
Coworkers are in their 50s and their offspring, while not specifically excluded, are not invited, either. Meaning "It's rude to bring extra people, so don't bring your kids." In any case said kids are old enough that they probably would rather die than be caught partying with their parents on Christmas Eve. And the parents probably don't want to drag them around.
SS26 has Aspergers and is, in common with his equally odd little coterie of buddies, somewhat immature.
I'd like to set one of them
I'd like to set one of them up on a blind date with my SD36
My SD asks to bring her middle aged, co-worker divorcees and their children. DH told her flat out no, we have never even met them.
No invitation.... no
No invitation.... no attendance. Pretty simple.