SS16 stirred the pot AND got attention that he was desperately needing !?????

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Over Christmas, while visiting his BM, SS16 felt he needed some attention and shared with BM a conversation that he heard at home between my DH and I. This has been an ongoing issue and has been discussed OVER AND OVER AND OVER....what is said here...stays here..and vice versa. That being said, I dont trash talk BM...but I do have open and honest conversations about my feelings. SS16 must have been listening to me talk to DH and decided to share with BM. The crazy thing is....the conversation was about how much i was worried about SD23 and the stress that her BM was putting on her by asking favors. SD23 has 2 young kids and needs allot of support right now..and not drama. Soooo....SS16 shared with BM and BM shared with SD23 ( you know..the one I was worried about in the first place). BM messaged me and "apoligized" for stressing me out over SD23. I WAS LIKE ...WHAT??? I assured her it was no big deal..and thought we were good. She then messaged me about how much SS16 had "only the best intentions" when sharing this information and did not want me to be upset at him. HHHHAHAAAAAAA!!@! He was with her for a week...I have raised him since he was 3..he KNOWS the rules...AND...when he is doing something wrong. I assured her that I had no doubt that he DID NOT have good intentions when sharing this information and shared with her that he was just wanting attention (We have had this convo MANY times). He has ADD and reactive atachment disorder (from bering neglected when he was a baby), and often has attention seeking behaviors. SS16 KNEW I would be NOT HAPPY with him...and his bio mom was not going to sway me. Here's the kicker. While SS16 was gone, I was doing a total room make-over for him for Christmas.....Him doing this totally took the wind out of my sails and I had to stop working on his roomo for a week or so...until I had a serious conversation with him. CRAZY!!!

I DID stop the room....at

I DID stop the room....at least until he got back the next week and I let him hear my "feedback". The room is done now...but I am still really mad at him because the drama he stirred up is STILL rolling on and hurting his sister!!

I DID stop the room....at

The diff here is..BM reacts

The diff here is..BM reacts dramatically to everything....and SS knows this. I dont care is he shares menial stuff, etc....but he knows what will stir up the drama. He is old enough and smart enough to know ..YET he shares it anyways!! Been doing this for 13 plus years and both BM and I know that the kids will TRY to stir the pot..IF we let them!!

Every single thing we say to

Every single thing we say to and around the skids gets back to BM at some point. I actually tailor some conversations because I know it's getting back to her.

My exMIL used to sit her 4 kids down when they got back from their father's and make them tell her every single thing that was said in his home over the weekend. It got to the point that exH's SM said BMs name wasn't allowed to be said in her house and she and dad had every conversation behind closed doors. ExH said that he and his siblings would make up stuff just to please their Mom.

HRNYC....thats not what it is

HRNYC....thats not what it is about. Its about sharing things that he knows will cause drama...and then not wanting to face any consequences. IIIII have to feel comfortable in MY home...and he was just stirring the pot. He got what he wanted...from his mom..anyways

oh brother...he SIXTEEEN NOT

oh brother...he SIXTEEEN NOT SIX!!!! He knew what he was doing..AND she took the bait!! END OF STORY!

I totally agree wicked witch

I totally agree wicked witch and when they do report back the next time they come in town I give them something really good to report. Parents should mediate the shit they allow their children to do, such as stir the pot in an already tense situation. MY HOUSE, MY RULES, your kiddy no likey then your kid can't come over.

Honestly you can't stop a kid

Honestly you can't stop a kid from running his mouth. Besides, how vents have been posted here about BMs telling kids not to share info with dad?

Kids will run back and forth with info. Some do it to cause trouble. Some just absent mindlessly spill tbe beans.

What I can figure out is why BM had to let the OP know what the boy said???

because it is what she does.

because it is what she does. I messaged her about something good (offering her multiples of the pictures that I have taken over the last 13 years because I already did my scrapbooking) and she just had to be the "victim" in the family picture situation. This because I expressed my concern to DH about the extra stress on SD to photoshop all the pictures (which is what I wanted to avoid).