What is your ultimate deal-breaker in step-parenting?
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At what point would you 100% leave?
Teen pregnancy and asking to raise the kid in your home? Arrests? Violence against any of you or your kids? Theft?
Any stories out there of SMs that just couldn't take it anymore?
Adults skids living with
Adults skids living with us.
Letting BM control our lives, or have any say in our lives.
Letting the skids disrespect me.
Skids being mean, abusive towards me or my bios.
DH does pretty good when it comes to the skids and BM.
He doesnt deal with BM at all and shoots her down if she even tries. DH is borderline with the skids though. He just doesn't see them the way I see them. Which is understandable.
Currently the skids are not coming over for visits in the home because they steal and they are rude, disrespectful to me when they are around. I told DH I REFUSE to have that go on in my own home and when I am around.
The fact that you banned the
The fact that you banned the Skids from your home is impressive! How did you pull that off???
As a StepDad married to the
As a StepDad married to the BM for 19+ years I can not see any Skid related deal breakers happening at this point. During the 16+ years we were married while SS-21 was at home there really were no deal breakers that would have caused me to leave. There were a few incidents that nearly got SS put on a one way looooong and circuitous bus ride to SpermLand to live with his SpermIdiot but nothing that would have likely ended my marriage.
I do not think there were any Skid related incidents that caused my DW to consider leaving either. We were able to partner in parenting SS and when we did not agree we worked things out. My perspective was that if we did not agree and she did not like how I was parenting/disciplining SS then she could step up and get it done before I had to. And she did. I may not have always agreed with how she parented during those situations but if she dealt with it then I was fine with that. If she did not deal with it then I did.
SS is a very good young man of character and other than a few teen boy brain farts we had little trouble with him. Now, the SpermClan is another story but fortunately my DW and I are a team wholly committed to each other and to destroying the SpermClan if they so much as thought of trying to cause issues in our home, marriage and family. When they stepped out of line, we smacked the piss out of them with a rolled up copy of the CO, supplemental county rules and state regulations.
No muss, no fuss, no worries. For the most part.
For the most part.
Hats off, Sir! Awesome post!
Hats off, Sir! Awesome post! Now, what would you have done if the teen SD showed up preggers on your doorstep with all the extra drama of Baby Daddy from the trailer park in tow, drugs and misdemeanors, jail type issues to boot? I am trying to envision what my future and the future of all of us WILL look like...
I honestly dont know. I've
I honestly dont know. I've dealt with violence by SK towards myself (he left me pretty bruised up) and towards my child, both of which I previously thought was a firm boundary which when crossed would result in a divorce; however, with counseling for all parties, I see that a divorce would actually cause my BKs more problems (guilt, loss of famiky members, etc.) than dealing with it would. I guess if my DH refused to follow through with therapy for the SK and a safety plan for our family I would've left. Safety plan calls for a police removal from our home if any violence happens again. So far, it's working.
I think that as long as my DH is willing to work and compromise when problems arise, we will be marriedfor the next 50 years.