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Have you ever made passive-aggresive jabs at BM?

blending2012's picture

I know that as step-mothers we are supposed to hold our tongues about our opinions of the BM in front of the kids - but have you ever tried to *subtly* let her know something?

For example: I have my own bio kids (ages 9 and Dirol 5 out of 7 days a week and then my step kids (ages 9, 9 and 11) 4 out of 7 days a week. The BM remarried a guy with no kids - so she only has her own 3 kids 3 days a week - whereas I usually have FIVE. Five friggin' kids! And yet she can never manage to get her own kids' hair cut. She will just tell DH - so and so needs a hair cut and he does it. First of all, I can't imagine my ex-husband taking my kids to get their hair cut. In 9 years, he has never been to a dentist appointment, brought our boys for a hair cut or taken them clothes shopping. So maybe I'm just jealous that BM has: a husband that is able to do whatever she wants since he has no kids, an ex-husband who actually helps (that would be my DH now), parents that drop off/pick-up her kids, and sisters that also help her PLUS she only has her kids 3 damn days a week!

Anyways, last Saturday she was telling DH in front of me that SS needed a hair cut and I said - "Great! He is with you tomorrow and the Super Cuts right next to your house is open on Sundays so you can bring him then :)"

She just kind of looked at me like I was wearing a suit of turds, but at least no one could say I was being outright hostile! I did it all with the "just trying to be helpful" voice.

Please tell me any passive-aggressive gems you have used. I would love to use them!

BTW - guess if she brought him to Super Cuts.

B22S22's picture

Yes. She was berating us because our puppy was jumping up on the SK's after they would tease him and run away then he'd give chase.

She told us we really needed to get said puppy under control and look into obedience classes, blah blah blah blah blah. (Note: puppy was 8 weeks old, SK's were early teens but still felt the need to tease the dog??)

I responded with, "This coming from the woman who's children have BOTH been in the ER needing stitches from bites from YOUR DOG? Hmmm. OK....."

misSTEP's picture

I guess this was just a passive-aggressive JAB to her because it wasn't that I was trying to CHANGE anything. Just trying to get under her skin for all the BS she caused me, my DH and my skids (as well as my own son) over the years.

One thing that REALLY ticked her off was that DH married me and never married her - even after she popped out two kids and said they were both his.

So, whenever DH had to send a letter to her, I would always make sure it said Miss X (instead of Ms.) just to get that little jab in there that even her baby-making scheme couldn't land her a hubby (just a paycheck)! }:)

oldone's picture

Before we were married, and I would speak to her she was whining about their older son being ill.

Now she tossed him out at 15 and then did not see him during the next TWENTY YEARS. Not once. He was maybe 200 miles away. She has a car, a great job, money, etc. Absolutely no reason to not see him for TWO DECADES.

So I just sort of innocently asked when she'd seen him last?

BSgoinon's picture

Did it just yesterday as a matter of fact.

She doesn't realize that I can tell when she is emailing from her work email but isn't really at work. She is super lazy and is fired from every job she gets for attendance.

Yesterday she did this. Talking about how frustraded she is about **whatever new drama she has**, emailing from her WORK email, but was not at work. I replied "At least you were able to make it to work". Wink

I can't help it, things just fall out of my mouth (or fingertips) sometimes.

SMof2Girls's picture

The skids spent the night at my brother's house one night last summer for my niece's birthday sleepover.

BM was out of state and couldn't physically stop it.

She flipped out in emails claiming that her kids have SEVERE asthma and that she is concerned for their health and well being to be staying with a stranger who is not familiar with administering emergency inhaler treatments.

DH replied with, "It's convenient that you were never concerned about the health risks to our kids when you were smoking a pack of cigarettes a day in your home and car, where our kids regularly spend time."

Side note: the skids do NOT have severe asthma.

SMof2Girls's picture

Oh, well, she's in school to be a respiratory therapist. So to her, it's a learned science and skill; not common knowledge Biggrin

SMof2Girls's picture

And as of this day, she has primary custody of the kids. And still smokes a pack + a day.

And her smoking mother also lives with her now.

Redsonya's picture

lol! I do too! I am seriously reconsidering naming a folder "For Herple" and putting all her pins in there. Herple is the name that DH and I call her - Herpes since she must have it after all the nasty men and women she has slept with in the past three years and purple because she has this super annoying fixation on that color.

javagirl's picture

Wait until she sees this year's Christmas card...from Mr. and Mrs. and pictures of the kids. I only wish I could pay to see the reaction. SD6 already asked if she can take one to school to show her teacher because she loved it so much. I said sure. I'll find a way to be able to send one card home Smile