Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
You are the one about to get
You are the one about to get married, of course you need to tell him how you feel...if you don't then he will not know and is making decisions to be with you based on misinformation.
Well, ya know what? There's
Well, ya know what? There's nothing wrong with not wanting to raise someone else's kid. Especially when that parent wasn't custodial when you decided to merge lives.
I think it's much worse for a child to be with a stepparent who doesn't want them than it is for them to be with even a semi competent bio parent who does want them.
If you're considering
If you're considering marriage, I would advise you to seriously consider what life would be like having his child full-time. It happens more often than you would think.
What if something were to happen to BM, where she honestly couldn't be custodial?
Honestly, while it's true that no one knows for certain what the future might hold, there certainly are those who step into marriage knowing good & well they don't want to deal with these children & as their marriage slowly breaks down and is falling apart they cry, "I didn't know what I was getting into!"
You KNOW you don't want to deal with this child. You KNOW what life with this child entails, yet you're going to marry the guy & throw yourself right in front of the freight train.
He backed off because he
He backed off because he knows that he isnt prepared to take on the work of being a custodial father. I think now many parents cannot understand that you can love your child and admit that you are NOT the one who should have custody.
You all have 2 kids together
You all have 2 kids together right? If he can't take care of his one, how will he take care of the 2 he has with you if God forbid something happens to you??? What are you going to do if something happens to the BM? Will your husband be forced to send SD to live with a family member?
I take care of mine. There is
I take care of mine. There is nothing wrong with admitting that BM is a better custodial parent.
I try not to think that any of us would not see our kids reach adulthood. If BM were to die then he would certainly have to step up and learn to be a full time dad.
If I were to die my family would be there to help him that is a given.
Im talking about in the here and now that she is the better custodial parent and that is okay. It is good that we are able to pinpoint who is best suited and she is there.
I never said he was
I never said he was incompetent. I said simply that BM is a better CUSTODIAL parent. I dont think that he would be able to handle SD as the CUSTODIAL parent. I dont think that makes him a bad parent. Yes, he is a full time dad to our two but Im here to parent them with him so it balances out.