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sorry

startingover2010's picture

Sad for the lying and everything else.

GiGi222's picture

Startingover, you have started soooooo much trouble with your lies and your ridiculous attitude. I truly feel sorry for your 3 year old. I hope she grows up to be successful and live a healthy life despite her mother's nonsense.

And can someone swing the popcorn this way? Thanks Smile

startingover2010's picture

i will fill you all in:

i came to this site along time ago because of problems with stepparenting (duh). at first i wanted advice, took a few, but things became so bad on my end that i started to up the ante to make things worse than what they were, partly in hopes of making my real situation better, partly in hopes to get advice on what to do if things did infact get as bad as i made them sound.

now, sd IS an extremely difficlt child, from a very difficult past. bm really IS a deadbeat mother, and bf really DIDNT start to get her help until it was too late. he never really supported me at all, he basically ALLOWED sd to do all these awful things, mainly because he never did anything about it. he left it up to ME to deal with shit. at one point he told me that it is normal for stepparents to be the skids emotional punching bag.

i DID leave him. i DIDNT go to a psych ward. bd3 DID go with my parents for a while, a mutual agreement made between myself, bf, and my parents. bf moved in with his mom out of state, i moved in with a friend, and began to receive counseling.

i am a victim of emotional and mental abuse, from both bf and sd. hell, even HIS mother and the bm are to blame as well. once i showed up 5yrs ago, it became MY job to fix sd. being a stupid naive girl in my early 20's trying to impress her new love, i took the 'job' and knew i failed early on but kept it up for many reasons. i suposse u can call me a narccisist, because part of why i am doing what i did was because i wanted all eyes on me, sympathy, for once in my friggin life. i wanted my daughter to have her daddy's love, her paternal grandma's love, without it being mde obvious she was second best to sd oin their eyes.

am i back with him? yes, but its basically an over the phone LD type of thing. he hasnt come back yet to the state where i am, we havent even talked about moving in with each other again. im testing the waters, stupidly so, and u know why? because bm all of a sudden has a job and her own place in hee-haw-ville, and wants sd to live with her again. and bf says he is considering this. will it happen? doubtful. do i want to dance to the sd tune again? NO. my parents have already told me that if i allow sd access to bd, they will get a lawyer and do what they can to get custody of bd.

mental abuse is a bitch ladies. this isnt who i am. idk who i am anymore. for 5yrs i have struggled with finding myself, only to disappoint myself.

this site was my only outlet for very harsh feelings i had for sd and my situation. the ONLY outlet. bf wouldnt listen, my friends were sick of telling me to leave him. i had nothing else. i am sorry i ruined it for everyone.

just wanted to explain myself. take it or leave it. not sure what else to say. i wish i would have approached this differently.

startingover2010's picture

and i'd also like some popcorn too please Wink caramel if ya got it.

Synaesthete's picture

I'm still not entirely sure what happened here, and it sounds like a lot of shady behaviour on your part.

That being said, if you're being honest now, I appreciate the effort it takes to come clean. Not everyone would do so. I really hope this is a sign you would like to stop this kind of behaviour.

I appreciate how decent of you it is to apologize and step forward; I would recommend continuing to get help for yourself IRL and if you need to vent, please don't feel that you can't here. Some may still be petty but there are still some who will offer you help. If it really is an abusive situation, I think you know what the right thing to do is, and SD will be around forever whether she goes to live with her mother or not.

All the best.

purpledaisies's picture

Thanks for filling me in. But I do think that you have take long hard look at your situation and decide what is more important before you make any kids of decision.