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7yrSS forgets what toliets are for everytime he visits BD

circusmom24's picture

:? I am so upset every time my 7 yr old SS gets here he forgets to use the bathroom. I thought the first time was an accident. But, one weekend he peed his pants THREE times in one weekend! I know he gets excited to see his dad. Then the next visit he pooped his pants and he didn't care! He even asked his dad to clean it up for him because he couldn't wipe his butt! Yesterday the kids we're playing and and he pooped his pants AGAIN. when his older Step Sister and brother asked if he did, he denied it. My BS is the same age as my SS. So when I went in the boys room to say goodnight my son called my step son out. He said "Mommy A&^%$ did poop his pants and he lied about it". I asked my SS and he denied it again. So I asked did you poop a little bit in your pants? He said "yeah, but, sometimes I just forget or it comes so fast I can't help it". These are hard bowel movements so there is no fast with this. I talked to him about the trend I noticed. I asked him if did this with his mom. He replied all the time. I said so if I call her and ask she will say you do this. He was replied simply "Yup".

I am so over this kid and his B#^%S*^%$. BD and I have been married for 4yrs. So I know there has never been an issue with body functions or lack thereof. I talked with and asked him to talk to his son about this. At first dad was upset because I talked with SS first. I am at my witts end on how to deal with him.

I want to call BM but, she and I do NOT see eye to but, I need to know if A%$#& is having these issues with her too. I also want to talk with her about his lying.

I have no idea how to approach this could someone please give me feedback.

circusmom24 :?

kiwihelen's picture

First of all, who is responsible for his health care - because it is best to rule out that he hasn't got any reasons that he is having continence issues. If he is constipated, he could be getting overflow, and that can happen suddenly.

Secondly, he needs to be given a routine - what was his usual bowel routine before this started happening - get back to that and say "If you are here, I don;t want accidents, so you need to go to the toilet after every meal for a wee, and X time of day for a poop - and give him a book to read while he is at it!

Thirdly, if accidents happen, he should be responsible to clean up after himself. i.e. take off the soiled underwear, remove any evidence, put it in to soak in the washing basin. And you explain this is what he is expected to do as a 7 year old, giving no blame etc as you take him through it until he remembers to do it (better still if his BF sets this up and explains it to him)

Fourthly, get some soft wipes for letting him clean himself - because that will be much more likely to be successful in the cleaning.

If this is a problem with his BM, then it will be a problem at school - so ask about it there.

circusmom24's picture

I didn't metion that I suggested that to BF and he thought that was really harsh of me to suggest that. Thank you for the suggestions. I did talk to dad about maybe there is a issue with continence. But, that was not even going to be heard. he said he would with him;. We'll see what happens.