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SO won't make his monster mind!!!

Ethyl's picture

Ok so I've been with my SO for a little over a year and after a couple of months I set into motion a plan to get him to discipline his son (5yrs old). He has put forth some effort and has done a little better but, the problem is that he won't be consistent. This child is so smart and can be an absolute joy to be around when he knows he can't get away with anything. I know part of my SO's problem with discipline is that for one he lost another child at 6 weeks old and he feels like he needs to give this one the world. I totally understand where he's coming from on that and to an extent I agree but, in discipline there will be love and respect. Also, my SO's dad was very harsh with him to the point of beatings, therefore he doesn't want any kind of corporal punishment with his son. I'm at my wit's end though because it's to the point where I've explained strategies and ways to go about discipline but, he's tired of hearing it and says I'm just trying to control him to have everything my way. This child screams at adults, tells people he hates them, tells them "No, I don't have to", and the list goes on and on. He's into EVERYTHING. Food, tools, entire bottles of soap in one day. He still pees and poops in his pants, not because he isn't potty trained, but for attention. He hits people, throws balls in the house, rides his bike in the house. Anything you can think of this kid does. I grew up in a house where respect was demanded and we didn't dare make messes without cleaning them up and get into things we weren't supposed to. I dont feel like I have to or need to take on the responsibility of making this child behave. Dad needs to learn this. My question I guess is simply, HOW? I can't live another 14 yrs like this. If it continues I will leave. I did once for a week and he promised things would be different. We do have good days but, they are few and far between. HELP!!!!


notagain2012's picture

I wish you the best of luck. You can try parenting classes, but they didn't help my SO.

The only thing that has even caused any improvement, is 3 years later, and the now 8 yr old is acting that way towards his dad, and embarressing dear old dad.

I tried 'parenting' the kid, and parenting ny example with mine, and all it did was make the SS resent me, and cause problems between me and SO (like I hated his kid for making demands on him, for not being understanding, or feeling sorry for an all out brat)

It also made my bs angry at me, for the uneven balance in discipline.

Ethyl's picture

Thanks guys. He thinks he can shower him with toys and outings and it will fix itself. Really? He just doesn't get it

StickAFork's picture

The sad truth is: If SO doesn't see a problem and doesnt' want to change, nothing will change. You can't "make" him be a different kind of parent. Trying will only uber-frustrate you.