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Am I expecting too much?

Lit'l Bit's picture

Yesterday afternoon our DS17 had 2 friends over. He and his Dad (DH) had been on a 2 week vacation to Mexico and returned late Sunday night.

He and his friends made some sandwiches and were going to go to the Pool in our community but it was really dirty. So they just decide to hang out at the house. DS is 17 and his 2 friends are 18 and 20. The 18 year old just graduated high school and his Girl friend is a little older then him.

SD26 STB27 was also home. She is expecting to go into the police academy in November. She has a Bachelors degree in Criminal justice. Hopefully she will launch while in the academy or shortly after. I know most of you think she needs to be gone and I agree. Whole different story whole different topic. Please do not offer any feed back on this situation. I know the situation is due to poor parenting.

Now for "Am I expecting too much"

So DS and SD were at home and DS had friends over. DS gave the 18 year old a wine cooler. Not sure where it came from as I don't drink them. Could have been SD's. Anyway it doesn't matter who it belonged too. After drinking at our house DS and friends went to the girlfriends house. Girlfriend drove. SD knew all along what was going on. DS called me at 4:30pm and told me he was going to XYZ's house and would get a ride home later. I get home about 6:30pm and only SD is home. I change my clothes and begin preparing dinner. Dinner is done and every body but DS is home. It was very hot yesterday so I went outside to cool off before sitting down to eat. I come in the house to fix my plate and am told that DS gave alcohol to a minor at our house. SD is telling this to DH. She text him this as well right before he came home. DD tells me, while all but me are sitting down at the table. At about 8pm, I eat my dinner and text DS to tell me where he is because I need to pick him up. I went to get him and chewed him a new one on the way home. He is now not allowed to have friends over without me or his Dad at the house.

So....
1.Would you guys be pissed that SD didn't tell you what was going on when you arrived home.
2.Would you also believe that with her background and with her wanting to be a police officer she would understand how it could effect her as the only adult at home.
3.The fact she is almost 27 years old and the fact that DS is her half bro that she would say something to him.
4. Stop the kid from drinking. Understand I am in no way blaming her but as the only adult at home at the time and the direction she is taking in her life common sense would tell me that she should have stopped it once she knew it was happening.

Am I Expecting Too Much?

Comments

So_Annoyed's picture

I am not surprised she didn't tell you, it seems to be the way SDs operate. But I do believe she SHOULD have spoken to you, though.

It wasn't her place to say anything to the boys, and even if she did they may not have listened. I would have told my brother/sisters to stop, but that's us.

I don't know the relationship, so I cant say if she was being malicious in going to your DH first.

And if there is one thing I have learned in these families, if you expect anything at all then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Nothing is normal, nothing is a given.

Tell DS no more drinking (he's underage anyway), and no more friends over unless you or DH are home. End of problem.

zerostepdrama's picture

SD told her father. At least she told someone.

What's your relationship like with her? Maybe she didn't feel comfortable talking to you about it.

Lit'l Bit's picture

We can always count on you Trump to bring Drama in to any situation. Well Done Trump!

kathc's picture

She SHOULD, as an adult and a future police officer, have told him "Oh hell no bucko!" and not allowed the kid to be given alcohol in your home. At the VERY least, she should have told you as soon as you came home. But, of course, because she's an SD she waited to tattle to daddykins about how awful her stepbro is and therefore you're an awful mother.

Either way, your kid did something shitty and I'm glad you punished him. I'd have also called friend's parents to let them know he was drinking at your home and he's no longer welcome there unless you're present to supervise.

Lit'l Bit's picture

The focus of this on SD is basically a concern on my part for her future. If she can't see stuff happening in a comfortable environment such as her home how will she assert herself out on the force. She can't even smash a bug with out calling on DH to do it for her. I don't understand why you believe that the focus on SD is strange? I am not expecting SD to parent her brother. I guess I am the only one who gets that the stakes are high for her and any miss-step could kill her chosen career before it gets off the ground.

Lit'l Bit's picture

"she may not have felt it was her place to say anything to her step brother or you."

Not Step Bro...Half Bro there is a difference.