Finally reached 18
Well it's finally over and we can close this chapter for good. SD turned 18 a few days ago. She has been estranged starting the late spring of 2020 and PAS out for good in 2021. I met her when she was 3 and everything was great. When things got serious between DH and I all hell broke loose. It had been up and down for years and came to a head when I wouldn't terminate my pregnancy to appease SD. The way she phrases it now is my DH couldn't honor her wishes and respect her boundaries and she had no choice but to leave. Well in the end, her leaving really improved our lives to be honest. That may sound awful but it's the truth. The drama was basically gone, no more disney dad, no more crazy BM blow ups, and no more disrespectful kid in my home. It's been nice.
As for the last ditch effort for more child support 30 days before SD turned 18, that's all gone too. After a legal consultation an attorney told DH he did not have to legally respond or turn in documents until it was petitioned through the courts. So he just waited it out to see if anything was filed. The order of obligation is officially expired however, DH has to file next week to stop income withholding since it is not automatic. The legal ties to BM are finally cut.
As for the future I guess we will have to wait and see. DH has accepted that she is gone and he feels that this is the closure he needed. He doubts he will ever hear from SD again and has said if at any time she contacts him he will keep his guard up and wallet closed to see what her true motives are. According to facebook, she is planning to legally change her last name to BM's maiden name. DH is sure SD will continue the same cycle BM has that was passed down from her mother. Every single kid on BM's side of the family is estranged from a parent. It seems to be family pattern. DH informed me he is removing the tattoo of her name.
I've seen this man absolutely shattered by this and now finally, he was able to put himself back together. DH has been doing so great the last 2 years. He is healthier and happier than ever. We will continue to live our life with our 5 kids and just continue making memories with them. Sadly, my SIL and BIL are starting to discuss separating due to the stress of his kids and crazy ex wife. My SIL is a strong person and I know it will be BIL's loss. I'm glad my DH and I were able to make it through the past 15 years with our marriage intact and stronger than ever.
Good luck to everyone still going through it. I haven't posted very often, especially recently but I still read a lot of the updates. Step life is over for me. Truthfully, its been over since June of 2020 but now there is nothing legally BM can throw at us. Rags you always brought the humor to every post. CLove good luck and stay safe, I can't imagine what you have been through. Castle JJ, your situation sounds pretty similar to mine in regards to the parental alienation aspect. Good luck to you and hoping you have a smooth remainder of your pregnancy.
Congratulations!
For some, a SKid/Kid aging out from under a CO is freedom. For others, it is heart wrenching.
That your DH has recognized his BM spawned failed family progeny is a write off has to be heart wrenching. It looks like he also recognizes this milestone as freedom.
Enjoy the drama purge, focus on the good stuff, and celebrate this long awaited milestone.
Stick around. Your experience is a huge asset to share with others who are meandering through the SParent experience. Sharing the good stuff that follows the drama when the CO is done is inspiring.
Congrats on the freedom!
Congrats on the freedom!
"It had been up and down for years and came to a head when I wouldn't terminate my pregnancy to appease SD."
WTF. That just takes the cake. Good riddance to the crazy!
This!!
The cruelty, selfishness and audacity of such a request!!
Too bad that request cannot be applied immediately to the SD who
requested it.
Some noxious spawn should never have been allowed to exist. Regardless of what COD failed family bullshit they carry around. Hopefully the SD that made that request will fail to pollute the human genome by spawning.
My DW once asked my SS if he would want a little brother or sister. He was not quite 10yo and his answer was clear. No. He liked being an only child in our family because of how horrid it was with the Spermidiot's indiscriminate out of wedlock multi-babymama breeding efforts.
I paraphrase of course.
Nearly every visit had drama and it just grew in intensity as the Spermidiot brood grew larger.
SS is an only in our family and the eldest of 4 all out of wedlock Spermidiot spawned half sibs (the youngest two are full sibs) by three different baby mamas. #2 is on the dole, #3 is in prison on a long felony sentence, #4 is not far behind the inmate.
As it turned out we did not have any more kids and SS remained our only. Not because of his request to remain an only. I was not wanting to risk passing on my autoimmune condition and I was also not willing to risk my bride's life and health via another pregnancy. SS nearly killed her when she was pregnant with him. Sever pre-eclampsia/toxemia which had her hospitalized for nearly 2mos. SS was 5wks premature. DW was a sick young lady when pregnant with SS. DW brought up having another a couple of times in the first 15yrs of our marriage. Fortunately, her Docs were adamant with their NO on that idea. I love kids, but I have never had any need to propagate me. So, I raised SS as my own from 2yo when his mom and I married. So, I did get a me. Which drives my wife crazy. My mom "cursed" us to have one just like me. And.... that is what SS is in many ways. DW smirks when we are all together because our son sounds and acts much like me. She then calls my mom out on the curse.
SS asked me to adopt him when he was 22yo. We made that happen. He is a wonderful man of character, honor, and standing in his life, profession, and community. I'm proud to be his dad.
Hopefully , the abortion demanding SD has no presence in the lives of good people and has not doomed any children to share her noxious genetics.
It’s never over
Expecally with a crazy BD and. X. When going get nowhere, and a need for major money there head appears. You don't need people who disrespect you.
That's lovely to hear.
Congrats to you on getting to the 18 mark and being free to get on with your lives without the crazy drama. What an amazing place to be. That's lovely to hear.