If anyone has followed my current situation with MIL bringing DH to court for SS8 visitation, this post is unfortunately related to that.  

BIL and his wife invited us to our 2 year old niece's birthday party. We were happy to attend as we did last year, but learned MIL was invited as well and would be going. Due to the on going court case we decided it wouldn't be in our best interest to be at the same event MIL would be attending and wouldn't look good for our defense in court. DH explained the situation to BIL (which he already knew about). BIL exploded on DH, blaming him for everything that has gone wrong, that it's OUR own fault that MIL is bringing us to court. Talk about lack of accountability. Mind blowing to me. DH said we wanted to go to our niece's party and if DH wasn't being forced to court with MIL then we'd just ignore her like last year and still go regardless. BIL hung up on DH and called him several names, a piece of shit, etc. DH stopped responding and didn't find a reason to continue the conversation as it wasn't going anywhere and BIL was anything BUT understanding.

2 weeks after this explosive conversation, our niece's birthday party came and went on Sunday, as we said we didn't attend for our justified reasons. The very next day (Monday) BIL's wife sent us a text with the tickets to a zoo that they said they would get our kids for Christmas. Prior to that they explained they didn't sent us physical tickets because they planned on doing this trip all together, including BIL's family. I noticed immediately that it was probably a passive agressive text to essentially say that they no longer wish to spend time with us in the future, which is why they conveniently sent us the tickets the DAY AFTER our niece's birthday. Why hold on to them for 5 months and send them now other than to be petty.

DH sent a basic message to wish our niece a happy birthday and we would be sending her gift in the mail. He thanked them for sending the tickets, but also said to let us know if they wanted to arrange a group visit with us, as it was discussed before. BIL and his wife never responded. As I thought my hunch was right. I would say I'm surprised, but I'm not. They act like we chose to skip this party for reasons that apparently aren't good enough for them. They have missed multiple birthday parties for our kids for several reasons and I haven't given them shit for it or held it against them. I'm over adults acting like children. 

I wish I called them out, and maybe a younger version of me would have. I know deep down that nothing would change and they're going to stand firm with their negative opinions. DH also knows there's no use. I'm not begging for forgiveness, because there's nothing to apologize for! Any sane person would do the same. Why ruin DHs court case against MIL over a birthday party. We can see our niece and celebrate any other time. I guess BIL would rather ruin a relationship with his brother over it. Imagine if he were in our shoes if this is the biggest "betrayal" he has gone through. I'm sure MIL had a great old time there, zero blame.. while being the REAL problem.