Stepdaughters wedding
Backstory, my husband and I have been married for 2 years. I wasn't the cause of the divorce but his ex wife is very bitter towards us. He has 2 adult children, stepson is 35 and married with 4 children, stepdaughter is 32 and was just married last week. They both have a strained relationship with their father because they sided with their mom during the divorce. I am fully aware that I'm not a mother figure to his kids but I do want to be treated decently and respected.
After the experience we just had at the wedding we are ready to accept that his children will never accept our marriage and I hate how they went out of their way to hurt us. My husbands name was left off the invitation and his daughter informed him that her brother will be walking her down the aisle and not him. We were excluded from all the wedding showers and not invited to the rehearsal dinner. They booked several hotel rooms for the family members and wedding party and we weren't given one of the rooms. We weren't seated in the front row with the family and were hidden away in the back, I wasn't given a corsage and my husband didn't get a boutonnière. We were excluded from all the family pictures and my husband was only allowed to take one photo with the couple and I wasn't included. All the women immediate family members in both sides were coordinated by wearing navy blue dresses (different dresses but same color) and I wasn't informed of that and I showed up in yellow. We saw our table assignments at the reception and saw that we were being seated at the very back of the room and that's when we decided we had enough and we left. During this whole experience the worst part was he wasn't allowed to speak to his grandchildren who he hadn't seen since they announced the divorce. Son and daughter in law had a baby the year after they divorced and my husband has never been allowed to meet his youngest granddaughter. My heart is so broken for my husband that his only daughter completely excluded her dad from her wedding and he will never get these experiences back. All because he wanted out of an unhappy marriage. I don't have any children so I will never get to be a mother of the bride and I think bm enjoyed rubbing this in our faces. Stepson refused to acknowledge us at all and pretended we didn't exist. I'm giving daughter in law a pass because she was super busy with her kids who were the flower girls but she didn't make an effort for us to see the children. How do you guys help your husbands with adult kids who just won't accept your marriage? It's devastating to watch him hurt like this.
LIving well is the best revenge. Time to live that revenge.
Scrub their noses in the stench they stain their life's carpet with and swat them on the ass over and over and over again. Figuratively of course.
Start flooding them with how happy you are in your life and marriage. IF they come crawling back, close hte door in their faces, if they don't.
Good riddance.
No one should tolerate toxic in their life.
You and DH need to stop tolerating them. They are the poster example of toxic.
Write letters to the GSkids and make sure that they get them as part of the reading of Wills.
The GSKids should know the facts regarding your idiot Skids and their toxic GBM.
Do not tolerate these nasty failed family spawn living a live of self delusion. Publish their crap as coprehensively as you can making sure as many people know as possible.
Lather.... rinse.... repeat.
Take care of you and enjoy your life.
They.... don't matter. Don't let them matter.
What's really sad about this
What's really sad about this is I don't think either stepkid would care if their dad died tomorrow. His 2 younger grandchildren have no clue who he is and there's no telling what the older two were told about us. He and I have a very happy marriage and we travel all the time and do amazing things. I just wish his kids would realize how happy their dad is now and would choose to be apart of it. There are so many big moments he has been excluded from and I know deep down it hurts him.
How horrible
How deliberate, how hateful and ugly. I'm sorry you both had to go through that. I don't have any helpful suggestions for your DH but for you, look at this as a release. You don't have to shop for gifts for people who won't appreciate them. You don't have to attend uncomfortable events and put up with seeing BM. You dont have to cook for them and entertain them. You are totally off the hook with these people.
Again, I'm so sorry. Steplife.....
I do consider that a bonus
I do consider that a bonus that after this wedding I doubt we will ever see them again. Stepson and his family are in the military and live far away so we won't ever just run until them. Stepson also has his dad blocked on his phone and facebook so we couldn't contact him even if we wanted to. Apparently though daughter in law told bm that if we ever really needed to contact them we could message her but her loyalty is obviously to her husband.
Wow, how very sad for your husband
I can't even imagine my kids treating me that way. It would be heart wrenching for sure. I have to ask (NOT judging) why did you even bother to go to the wedding? I'm guessing your DH assumed they'd include him more?? As someone else said, this is SO incredibly hateful, spiteful not to mention immature. It's like they used the wedding to drive an emotional stake through his heart.
This is easy for any of us to say, but I would never have anything to do wth them again. (again, easy to say when I'm not going through this with my kids). Please, please, please encourage your DH to go for family counseling re walking away from toxic, horrible adult children. Even if HE was the cause of the divorce, there's no need to perpetuate the hatred. Again, it seems so incredibly spiteful to invite the man then passive agressively shun him!
My DH has a bit of a similar situation with oldest SS. I've completely distanced/disengaged from that kid and his wife/family but my DH still struggles with that sons lack of contact with him...nothing like what YOUR steps are putting your DH through. I'm so sorry. I am praying your husband finds a good family counselor that will help him process all this.
We went to the wedding
We went to the wedding because originally SD seemed to still want a relationship with us and would invite her dad out to dinner and would send us Christmas and birthday presents. We already knew SS was a lost cause because the day they announced the divorced was the last time my husband spoke to his son and has been blocked ever since. Their mother plays the victim very well and both kids took her side immediately. My husband doesn't want to go to therapy but I'll suggest it again. I don't think he anticipated this type of treatment from his daughter.
There are some good
Videos on YouTube he may find helpful. My DH is not a man that ever consider going to counseling, either. I hope for your husbands sake he does. Such a kick in the gut.
I'll look them up! It was an
I'll look them up! It was an absolute kick in the gut. He has no other family other than me so he feels very sad that he won't grow old surrounded by his kids and grandkids. 2 of the grandkids have no idea who he is and that's devastating to him.
Disgusting Behavior
My heart breaks for both of you. I'm sorry that happened. At least you now know your place.
Personally, I'd walk away. I'd cease contact, not send gifts, not attend events, etc. I'd block them, BM and SKs, on social media platforms (if you have that), email and any other way they could access you. If they decide they want to make amends in the future, there's this thing called Snail Mail, delivered by the US Postal System, that they can use to send said apology.
This is a level of hatred I had not yet seen in StepHell. I cannot imagine why you both were even invited. And it would be a cold day in hell before I stepped foot into any venue where they were hosting something.
As Rags said, the best revenge is living and living well. Oh.....might wanna check out those wills to address inheritance issues. Kids that want to right off dear ole Dad for divorcing their mom should not be in line for those monies. Find other deserving relatives or a charity of your choice. Those two deserve nothing after that disgusting treatment of their dad.
Oh stepson has already been
Oh stepson has already been told he's getting nothing and he said he could care less. Daughter in law's grandparents are millionaires so they already know they will have a good inheritance. I don't know if my husband is ready to completely cut SD out but it's getting close.
Enjoy Your Life
If there is any way to get your DH to counseling, I strongly suggest that....just to process his hurts. Both of you. We can't force people to be in our lives, including our children. Once adults, they make their choices. Other than that, live your life. Choose happy, spend your money and enjoy your life with DH.
SS far more likely than not will be divorced before he gets a
penny of his toxic bride's inherritance.
It couldn't happen to a better candidate.
He will be in for his version of what your DH has been through. Though in all liklihood he will suffer even more than your DH has. WIth family money behind her his eventual XW will nail his ass for a shit ton of CS. If he further pollutes his shallow and polluted gene pool with her.
The Karma bus is going to smash SS and then run back and forth over him for a very long time. He has earned it.
I know how heartbreaking it is seeing.
Your husband treated this way. Mine is treated very similarly and yet thinks he generally has a great relationship with his kids. I see them for what they generally are. Self centered ingrates. I no longer attend anything involving them. The weddings have been very similar to what you describe. With DH and I not included in any aspect including the color coordination. I had decided after the last wedding I attended to not be in pictures any more, then things have continued similarly to you that I firmly decided I wouldn't attend any more weddings or even "family" events or get togethers since the invite always includes mom first and foremost. Once you reset your new normal in regards to them it will get easier.
Yeah the color coordination
Yeah the color coordination thing really bothered me for some reason. It sounds petty to be hurt by something like that but I don't understand why SD couldn't have just let me know that they are all wearing navy blue. BM, mother of the groom, all the grandmothers, daughter in law and the grooms sister all showed up in navy blue cocktail/formal dresses and here I am in a yellow sundress definitely not a family member. Luckily there are no more weddings we will have to attend so there's no chance of this happening again. I doubt we will be invited to any future events but if we are I will absolutely say no. I'm a bit sad about not being allowed to be a grandparent to the grandkids.
It happened twice.
DH reached out about clothing/colors at the first one about 8 years ago and was told "We discussed apparel at the pre rehearsal dinner" The dinner DH and I weren't invited to? They certainly didn't forget to ask him to help pay for the actual rehearsal dinner and other wedding expenses though.
Oh that's hurtful! I guess
Oh that's hurtful! I guess one blessing is we didn't pay for anything. SD and her husband have really good jobs and paid for it themselves
I have a slightly different view of this
The idea of colour-coordination for a wedding is entirely lost on me - it's a notion that hasn't reached this part of the world yet. Can you imagine, navy blue? For a wedding? It's supposed to be a joyous moment of celebration, not a funeral. And there you were, a splash of glorious colour in the midst of so much drabness! Be grateful that you were different, they all looked as if they were in uniform! How unexciting and how unimaginative.
Do you know the song, "I'm a lonely little petunia in an onion patch"? Because that's what came to mind.
In any case, I'm sorry you won't get to be around the grandchildren but very glad that all of htis nonsense is over and done with.
(((((HUGS)))))
Lol I guess it was a good
Lol I guess it was a good thing I wasn't treated like a family member so I didn't stand out. The color scheme was navy blue and gold so it was actually very pretty together for a formal evening wedding but like you I didn't think people wore dark colors to a spring wedding but I guess I was wrong.
That was an arrow aimed at you
And they were the petty ones. My advice is to hope for one more occasion to dress to the nines and knock them back into the swamp they crawled out of.
I don't always go, but when I accompany DH to an event or on a visit, I dress far better than anyone we'll be around. DH is well-dressed, too, because I'm the one who shops for his clothes. Smile, make your cameo, then you and DH go out to a nice dinner without the soulsucking baggage.
I'm sorry you're going through this! It's painful, but the sting eases when the fog clears and you find your footing again. Live a happy life and let DH vent when he needs to. My DH hurts because he's slighted all the time, but he is steadfast in his attempts, so we are still in the thick of it.
It seems like the wedding was to make a mockery
Of your husband and you. I don't think his kids deserved his and your attendance but too many parents think they have to suck it up with the mockery because its their kid.
a wedding is a celebration and unity of 2 families together. If you wanna start it off with petty vindictive crap, it just won't be a happy supportive one.
i hope your husband has opened his eyes truly to his kids behaviour and disengages because kids like his would be happy for their dad to grow old and lonely and if he died tomorrow, wouldn't give a crap
Oh there definitely won't be
Oh there definitely won't be anymore events we will ever attend again. My husband couldn't even look at his daughter walking down the aisle because it hurt too much. He hasn't seen his son in 4 years and he never looked at him one time. All the relatives almost made it impossible for us to say hello to the grandkids. It's almost like they intentionally made a barrier between us and them.
Write them all off and celebrate it as good riddance.
My brother got married in secret to a woman from a dating
Site with many red flags. He didn't have the balls to tell my dad and lied to my mums family. He destroyed the relationship of his own accord and we're Muslims so its against our faith to marry in secret because we pride ourselves on maintaining a positive family ties.
obviously there are times you distance yourself or write others off due to toxic abusive crap. Last few yrs my brother is playing victim that my dad doesn't like his grandkids from my brother, yet my brother has made 0 attempts at establishing a relationship of his kids with my elderly dad.
then guilts me when i was living o/seas and we flew my dad over anytime one of our kids was born or to celebrate muslim new yr my brother claimed we were buying dads love when my husband just didn't want my dad on his own alone during those family celebrations as he knew it was a big sacrifice for me moving o/seas away from my family.
some people don't see their faults and how they contributed to the family breakdown. Cue in a few yrs time when one of the skids does a call sulking how daddy abandoned them and has destroyed the relationship yet they refuse to acknowledge their part in everything
Neither one of my step kids
Neither one of my step kids believe they did anything wrong here and want my husband to take all the blame for the family being fractured. They think their mom is a poor innocent victim and they put her on a pedestal. I will never stand a chance against her but we decided to move and start fresh away from their toxic behavior and enjoy being together for the rest of our lives. It's so sad that he invested so many years intro raising them and loving them and they turned their backs on him when he decided to make a decision for his own happiness.
I'm sorry
My husband is estranged from both of his adult children. He and his son have had a strained relationship but had recently started speaking again. His daughter moved in with SS about a year ago and has slowly cut off contact with DH as she doesn't need his help anymore.
SS26 was married a couple of months ago and DH didn't even know when he was getting married. We did not receive an invite and both skids are now ignoring him.
He has a granddaughter that he will never meet, SS doesn't even see her because he moved across the country as soon as she was born and has only been back to see her a couple of times since he left 3 years ago.
It makes me so sad to see him being treated this way, especially since he thought he was getting closer to them. We have been focusing on us and living our best lives. We're in our 40s and both retired from the military. We don't live near skids which is nice, because we won't run I to them anywhere.
He has stopped trying to text/call them since they don't answer him anyway. I found some pictures of his SS wedding and noticed that his daughter was not at the wedding (she has never been to his state). I thought maybe she would be the flower girl but she wasn't. His new wife's dog was in the wedding though. It made me laugh a little.
Oh my it sounds like your
Oh my it sounds like your stepson is incredibly immature. What excuses do they give for the estrangement? My husband's kids claim that there must be something mentally wrong with my husband for just deciding to leave his wife after so many years. They actually helped pay for a lawyer for her during the divorce and my husband got screwed over in court and now we are stuck with alimony and he had to give half his retirement and refinance the house. While she got to keep all her assets and didn't have to share anything with him. Stepson is just plain evil to keep us away from the grandkids. We aren't allowed phone calls, letters, gifts, nothing. No contact at all. I wonder how they explained that to their older kids who clearly remember him and had a relationship with him. He was at the hospital for their births for crying out loud. They also deleted all the pictures of him from their social medias and bm took all the actual pictures from the house during the divorce so now my husband has zero pictures with him and his grandkids. It's so vindictive
Created a narrative
What BM did was create a narrative, repeated it enough times so she believed it and now is repeating a detailed narrative to skids. They brainwash the kids to hate the parent that left. Who cares what the truth actually is.
Too bad your husband didnt have a good lawyer as well, sounds like all the luck ran in BM favor. Not a surprise. BM Toxic Troll had a lawyer and people helping her out, Husband had no one. She filed child support a few weeks after we got married.
My husband couldn't believe
My husband couldn't believe she actually had a lawyer. The divorce agreement he wrote up was more than fair but the step kids and her siblings all told her that she shouldn't sign it and they paid for her to get a lawyer and he was completely ambushed in court. Oh and apparently stepson told some relatives the reason he won't allow my husband to see the kids is because he feels my husband isn't mentally stable and needs help.
I didn't have an attorney either.
My XW and I agreed to a single attorney uncontested divorce. I accepted her settlement offer. She wanted only the CD she cashed to contribute to the down paymner on the home we purchased 3mos before she informed me she was leaving, wanted a divorce, and moved out.
That agreement progressed amicably for a month until I drove my mom to visit my brother then flew home. XW picked me up at the airport. From the time mom and I drove away until I walked off of the plane 4days later she had lost her damned mind.
No more uncontested single attorney divorce. For a while at least. My MIL had engaged the law firm that her employer retained (the employer that she embezzled $Millions from and went to federal prison when convicted). Long story short, I met her and her attorney at that firm's large mahogany panneled conference room, handed the attorney notarized opies of her diaries 9with all of her adulterous daliances highlighted) and every University paper she had turned in for 3+ years, rough drafts in my handwriting, and graded typed copies, told them both that either we stuck to the original agreement or the papers whould go to the university her BS-Nursing was from,ng everything including the diaries would become public record, and everything wold go in front of the Judge to be divided per the Judge's order , Her seiral adultery, her slashing the tires of former BFs, etc... And ... the $~50K her parents gave us as her BS graduation gift. I had that card giving US that money. I did not want it, but... she forced my hands and I would get at least half if not more due to her cheating. Her attorney happened to be an Ajunct Professor at the University Law School and informed her that he could no longer represent her knowing she had a obtained her degree fraudulently.
She cussed me out, and we went through the divorce as agreed. Due to her behavior in court during the divorce hearing, the Judge upheld the split of liquit assets as agreed and all other property "as possessed". He then ruled on her request to return to her maiden name. She got lippy, the Judge got pissed.
The ruling on "all other property as possossed" ended up giving me the house. She had moved out, i possessed the house at the divorce hearing.
We had round two 3.5yrs later when she tried to take the house. She failed, I 80% of the profits on teh sale of the home. She cursed me out again, I had a similar talk with her then her ;awyer as I had with the one who fired her. I pointed out the "all other property as possessed" part of the ruling.
It was not that I was some genious. She was just a toxic unpleasant person who thought an attorney would get her something. They didn't. Her toxicity backed her into a corner that I took advantage of... using the facts.
I would suggest that your DH go full facts on the Skidults. Give them the full facts, every nasty toxic fact about their mother and how they have been toxically PASd and manipulated.
All while the two of you are living your best lives together.
If the Skidults find clarity, great. If not... no great loss, good riddance and the two of you continue to live your best lives together either way.
. Kids need facts to protect themselves from toxic manipulative people including a toxic parent.
No excuses are given
They don't tell my husband why they are ignoring him. They told my SIL that he wasn't there to be a parent so they won't ever have that relationship. But his daughter lived with us just a couple of years ago. She stayed in contact and accepted help from him when she didn't have rent money. We paid for most of her uhaul and my husband drove it to her new place. From Maine to Virginia. We gave her furniture, kitchen stuff, lots of odds and ends.
When she couldn't afford to live on her own anymore, she moved back to Tennessee where her family and my husband's family lives. Once again, he flew to move her and drove the uhaul the whole way. Soon after she got there she began distancing herself until she stopped responding to calls and texts from him at all.
She did wait until after Christmas to do that. Of course.
I'm sorry you're going through all of that. I know how awful it feels to be excluded from his family. The only advice that I can offer is to try not to look at their social media, if you aren't already blocked. It would put me in a pretty terrible mood for a while.
I was never very close with either SK. We saw them a handful of times each year. As much as we could with being in the military. We did spent about 10 years within driving distance (9 hours) so we were able to see them a bit more.
The bad thing is that he honestly never knew how hos kids felt until they didn't need his help anymore, that's what really hurts.
I hope your husband's kids come around, but if not don't make yourself crazy over it. It's not worth your mental health.
My husband and I are blocked
My husband and I are blocked from stepsons social media and daughter in law has her profile set to private so we can't see hers which means we never see pictures of the grandkids. Stepdaughter is friends with us on Facebook but she rarely posts anything. I don't think stepson will ever come around because he has so much hatred for his dad. My husband still has hope for his daughter but as long as bm is around we will always be pushed to the side. Any children she might have will probably not know us either. I agree we don't need to make ourselves crazy over this. We are discussing moving away to start over somewhere and it might help find some peace.
I’m experiencing a similar thing with my sons fiancé.
For two years we've opened our hearts and home to her and her young children, my son even adopted her youngest child. Suddenly I'm no longer getting any response to calls, texts, you name it. It's very strange because I have a good relationship with my son still, even he was like "I have no idea why she would do that" and asked me to "keep trying" which I have no idea what that even means at this point. One can only take being dismissed and discarded for so long.
My SIL went through a phase where she tried to separate my
brother from his family. It was a rough several years. He would not put his foot down and give her clarity. So... I lost him for a number of years. We lived a few hundred yards down the street from each other, We worked together. On one of the rare lunches we had together at work, he shared that she had told him to do what he was told or she would take the kids and he would not see them. That scared the shit out of him. I got angry, told him to stop playing her game, file for separation, point out her mental health issues, put her ass on the curb and protect himselves and his kids. Nope, he didn't do it. For years I had periodic nighmares about my brother dying (our youngest brother had passed a couple of decades prior so I am sure there were some tie ins to that) and my SIL being outwardly unimpacted by that in my nightmares, I woke up a number of times gasping for breath with tears streaming down my face with that nighmare. It would scare my DW to death when it happened. To this day I still have no idea why he stayed with her.
This year will be 30 years for them. He nearly ended it a few times over the years. He is incredibly successful, a good man, a great father. He has told me many times over the years that he feels like he has 4 children instead of 3. He would work 10+ hours a day, come home, she would hand him the kids, he would cook dinner and clean up. I never understood why he tolerated it. Their home always looked presentable.. on the surface. She would cram cabinets, closets, etc... with clutter and crap. Opening a door or cabinet was taking your life into your hands.
My SIL is a kind engaging person but far less a person than her DH. She has done nothing with her life but marry him and have his three children. I wish her no ill will and I even care for her and love her. Though I do not trust her. My brother does seem if not happy, at least content. My SIL had cancer a number of years ago. That seems to have firmed up their relationship. Their youngest is starting his Sr. year of university. Their elder two are both honors University grads, married with lucrative careers.
Any mate who would manipulate a good person to give up their family relationships (if that family is not a toxic one) is not a worthy mate of a good person.
IMHO.
I have an issue with this topic. Obviously. That so many mates of SParents tolerate their X PASing their children is intollerable to me. If my XW and I had spawned, my kids would know every sordid detail about my XW, and her family embezzlement business, convicted federal felon XMIL, etc... Every bit of it...If my XW ever tried to PAS my kids.
If she stayed in line I would not ruin her life. Though I would in all liklihood provide my kids with the full facts once they reached adulthood. No need to let them expose my GKs to that mess in a state of ignorance.
Fortunately, I did not pollute my gene pool with my XW. She had 3 all out of wedlock children by two different baby daddies. Two of them cheat babies conceived while she was married to someone other than the spermdonor. I feel for her children. No kid deserves that cesspool as family.
You both need to let. these.
You both need to let. these. people. go. Permanently. As painful as it is, the pain lessens with time. Practicing acceptance of What Is will help you move forward and allow you to heal instead of being trapped in the same painful place, hoping for crumbs.
Living an authentic life, including facing the ugly things we have no control over, can be both freeing and empowering. My DH and I have been estranged from his adult kids for a long time now, and have made our peace with it. It's not what we wanted, but we've moved on.
I agree and I'm fine with not
I agree and I'm fine with not having them in my life. I think it will take my husband longer to get to that place but I hope he will.
So a little update: my
So a little update: my husband called SD and confronted her about how we were treated at the wedding and her response was "What were you seriously expecting?"
She believes that because hubby decided to leave BM that he lost all rights as a father and doesn't deserve any respect. He asked her why she left me out of everything wedding related and her answer basically solidified my decision to cut all contact. She said she doesn't see me as a stepmother or even family at all. I'm just dads wife. That's it. I will never have a place in their family. She asked why she was supposed to include me when im not a member of the family. Also any inclusion of me would be insulting to her mother who was the "actual mother of the bride" The conversation ended with my husband letting her know that while he loves her, his marriage comes first and he needs to take a break from their relationship. She didn't seem to care and said good luck to you and I hope you have a good life. We are officially done with his kids and we just put our house on the market and will be moving out of state.
Great! No more games, no more
Great! No more games, no more pretense. You and your DH can move forward with a clear conscience. I hope his kids choke on the PAS poison their BM has fed them, and that one day their own kids estrange from them.
Dad's wife works for me.
Dad's wife works for me. You don't want me to be a relative (my name says it all) fine, but then don't expect relative status things from me. I know you were surprised that I stuck to your boundary.
But, my status has nothing to do with that of DH. He is still your father. While he was/is not perfect, he had/has his faults, and he made/makes mistakes, he did the very best he could for you. And you walk/walked all over him. Last year you saw him twice, for a total time less than 30 minutes, to get gifts for your kids. We've been together over 25 years, if you have not figured out that he's not going to throw me aside for your scraps, you never will.
I understand this so well.
I understand this so well. Its like the moment he decided to be happy and leave his marriage to their mother he all of a sudden became a bad father. I understand that I didn't raise these kids and I haven't been involved very long but I could have been an amazing grandma figure to SS and Dils kids. Apparently they said that their children have 2 wonderful grandmas and they don't need a third. Well now these kids lost a grandpa because of how selfish they are and I bet BM is just loving this. You should have seen her face as the wedding while we were being snubbed and disrespected. She was positively glowing when she saw her son walking her daughter down the aisle instead of my husband. It was disgusting to hear everyone just rave about how handsome SS looked in his uniform. These people are evil and I don't understand how these are the kids my husband raised. They are spoiled, selfish brats and I'm glad I never have to see them again. My heart just breaks for my husband that he will never know the joy of Christmas or thanksgiving with his grandchildren ever again. He was completely excluded from the birth of the last grandchild and he has never been allowed to even meet her. It will probably be the same with SDs future kids too.
wedding
I would not have even bothered to go to be treated like that.
If I had any indication that
If I had any indication that I would be humiliated like that then I absolutely would never have gone. I learned my lesson and will never attend anything ever again
The most powerful statement
The most powerful statement DH sent to BM in an email was : I did not divorce my kids, I DIVORCED you!!
My step kids were grown
My step kids were grown adults then the divorce happend so it's totally on them for how they reacted. BM plays the victim really well but at the end of the day these were successful, independent adults with the ability to make their own decisions and they chose their mom and decided their dad is worth throwing away. My husband was unhappy in his marriage to her and just couldn't take it anymore. He never in a million years thought this would be the outcome. He feels like he's not a father anymore and he's being kept from his grandchildren which makes it worse for him. He's not allowed a phone call, pictures, updates or anything. He was never told daughter in law was pregnant with their youngest and we had to find out from mutual friends she was born when they texted congratulations on the newest grand baby. That was humiliating for us.
My ex-SIL told my niece and
My ex-SIL told my niece and nephews not that she had divorced my brother but that THEY (her and her kids) had divorced our entire family.
Toxic feeds on toxic.
They are all cut from the same cloth. SD24 Feral Forger, SD17 Powersulk.
I dont see any inclusion in any of their important events from now going forward. Unless there is some desperate situation.
That was HORRIBLE what they did to you and DH. Entrapment. Punishing. Im so sorry.
It seems all these adult
It seems all these adult steps are exactly the same. My stepbrats absolutely were punishing their dad and it's just wrong.
The only halfway decent thing
The only halfway decent thing here is that you know exactly where you stand. Frankly, I'd prefer to know and have no relationship than to have a transactional relationship where the children contact you only when they need something and completely ignore you the rest of the time.
That is very true. They have
That is very true. They have never come to us for anything so I'm lucky we've never been used.