So upset I’m shaking
My usually calm, cool, DH just lost it and went crazy, throwing a glass against the wall, knocking a candle holder off the wall and damaging our hard wood floor and turning over a chair in our basement, causing the seat to fly off. Why, you ask? All because I told him I was sick of SSs treating him like a piece of sh*t while exalting BM like a queen. For starters, I was planning to go to my high school reunion this past Saturday and then grocery shopping for Father's Day Sunday dinner that afternoon when SS28's DW told us on Thursday SS28 couldn't come on Sunday and asked if he could he come Saturday instead. So, I had to miss my reunion and quickly run to the grocery store to get things for dinner and get ready to host a day early. After the day, it was the same old things. SS28 posted on social media pics of SGDs from the day having fun at our lake house (on the water tube, on the beach, in the hot tub, etc.) but none with DH in them and NOTHING about DH for Father's Day. This was despite the post on Mother's Day a month ago where SS28 posted breakfast pics with BM and said how blessed he was to have her. SS26 (whom we hadn't seen since Christmas but showed up on Saturday to get his check from DH for 20% of the down purchase on his new house) also posted nothing about DH for Father's Day but had posted multiple pics of BM a month ago for Mother's Day and stated he was "beyond grateful" for her.
I told DH how much that disgusted me and hurt me for him and felt the SSs should be called on it. I also said I was not going to wait on adult SKs (and SDIL and SGDs) hand and foot for their upcoming "family vacation" at our lake house. (As we did for the Father's Day celebration when SKs sat on their @ss after an afternoon of boating while DH grilled and I made sides and we both cleaned up, with no help or offers to help from them.) I said it was unfair that my DH could not/would not confront SSs about any of it.
This is the ONLY thing my DH and I have had words about in almost 23 years of marriage. He's willing to take their crap at all costs to avoid estrangement. I called him out on that and the fact he's willing to make me mad, and he got angry and started yelling and throwing things and crying, saying he couldn't control the situation. He even told me to leave, and I told him I wasn't leaving our home tonight. Our poor DS14 was terrified and came downstairs when he heard the ruckus, My DH almost immediately apologized profusely, but I'm afraid the damage has been done. I did tell him I will try NEVER to mention SSs EVER AGAIN. I just don't know where this leaves us. I believe he is sorry he lost his temper, but I also believe he wishes I would just shut the F up and pretend there are no problems with the SSs. He'd obviously make me angry or disrespected before he ever said anything to the SSs about the situation. It's totally effed up, and I just don't know how to go on from here without just pretending things are different than they are, and I'm not very good at that, unfortunately.