How would you feel about this?
We're on vacation with SS26, his DW & 2 SGDs this week. SS25 & his DW came for 2 days & had to leave. This is a 7BR beachfront house with private pool, hot tub, pool table that we paid over $11k to rent and we're buying all groceries plus paying meals out. Things have been better than last year because I bought paper plates, plastic cups, plastic cutlery as someone here suggested to limit dishes. I also bought no food that can be cooked (like eggs) & we're carrying out every meal due to COVID. I've been very specific in asking BS12, BS19 & his gf to help--sweeping, carrying and putting up umbrellas and chairs on the beach. I asked nothing of SS26 (or SS24 when he was here) and they've done nothing. To her credit, SS26's DW has taken out the trash (with all the paper plates, etc., there's a TON) and she has put SS26's & SGDs' bowls in the dishwasher. I haven't touched their dirty dishes. They've all been cordial and I guess it's gone as well as can be expected.
Here's the issue. After they returned home, SS25 & his DW made multiple posts on social media with pics of their relaxing "mini vacay." Pics were of them, SS26, his DW & SGDs. NO mention of DH & no pics of us or our bios. I mentioned it to DH and HE commented it probably looked as though SSs took their wives on vacation together (to a million dollar beach home.) Since then, SS26 has made multiple posts with pics of him, his DW & SGDs, including a couple pics I took of SGDs by themselves & sent to SS26's DW.
DH says SSs don't want BM or her "clan" to see pics of them having fun with us. SS26 ALWAYS posts pics of anything they do with BM. I feel like we're a "dirty little secret." We''re being erased from a vacation we fully funded.
On top of that, BM has started her old tricks from SSs with the SGDs. Without fail, every time we took SSs on vacation when they were young, there was always a party or something special planned at BMs the day they were to return they couldn't wait to get back for. We were in the hot tub with SGDs when the oldest told us she couldn't wait to get back to BM's because they were having a sleepover with a girl next door to BM. She listed 4 favorite foods they were going to eat, and I couldn't help commenting that we had every single one of those in the kitchen at that moment (that WE bought at the store at their request.) Before I had a chance to say something to DH, he later mentioned it to ME that BM had pulled out the old playbook!
I'd like to think we're just reading too much into all these things, but I've lived through 21 years of dealing with BM and her PAS & desire to be the favored parent (& now grandparent) at all costs. All I can do is guard my heart & try not to get too close to SGDs, and of course, not do anything more for any of them than what I want to do because I'm a good person.
I'm just curious. Does anyone have any other takes on this or think I'm off base?