Anybody’s else this annoyed
I swear daily my house goes from a place I love to a place I hate. I just don't understand!!!! I'm so over SD being here. In previous post I have talked about all the custody drama we have been going through lately and I'm just over it. I feel like I can never just be alone with my DH, unless I go in my room which I have asked for it to be a place of just us. Everytime I do something with my kids SD wants to be right there and DH can't play with the boys without her wanting to be played with too. If she was younger I would get it, but at 14.... really! The amount of attention she needs is so draining. Just venting honestly....... I just want her to go home. It's been 2months now and the longer SD stays the harder they will all fight for her not to go back. With having twin foddlwra also I just want time with my DH and it's getting sucked up by SD now. But how do you tell someone that..... I don't know just tried and over it
I can relate and I'm so over
I can relate and I'm so over it.
SD 13 still dances and signs for daddy...it makes me want to barf. Thankfully she isn't here all that often....
I think we finally moved past her sitting on Dhs lap or having to always be right up on him....
I really don't understand
I really don't understand this situation. BM doesn't want the child in her home, but she wants custody rights and child support, and your DH is going along with this, over your objections. Is he getting the kid some therapy, at the very least? You know that the minute he files court papers for a change in custody and child support that BM will take her right back, so does he plan to just keep SD and pay BM CS forever, again, over your objections? I get that sometimes a father ends up with full custody and I could accept that if BM died or went to prison, but she's living right there and just doesn't want to deal with her child, while raking in the CS. This is all just not okay.
No therapy yet! And that has
No therapy yet! And that has always been my biggest requirement. I'm trying to give till the end of next month to get something in place for her before I go off about it again. He is so obsessed with keeping everyone happy that he doesn't see how all of this is hurting us as a couple and me in general. It just so hard! I'm really working on speaking up for what I need
Obsessed with keeping
Obsessed with keeping everyone happy ... except you? You aren't happy.
Exactly! He is trying to keep
Exactly! He is trying to keep SD happy mainly. I understand wanting your child to be happy, but I feel like that guilt he has really blinds him to her
The mini wife syndrome is
The mini wife syndrome is definitely abnormal. OSD 14 hangs on her father to the point where it is nauseating and Freud would probably be fascinated by the behavior. YSD 12 has much more normal age appropriate interactions with her father. She is starting to exert her independence and limits physical contact to the occasional hug and kiss on the cheek.
My son was very clingy with me, but stopped when he was around 10, at 13 he won't even sit next to me on the couch.
And being a teacher to me she
And being a teacher to me she just doesn't act like a normal 14 year old at times which is why I keep pushing the therapy so hard
I was the oldest of four with
I was the oldest of four with two much younger and cuter siblings and never acted that way at 14. Very odd. It seems a lot of skids exhibit emotionally stunted behavior and it's excused away.
Zero tolerance cs is always a
Zero tolerance cs is always a viable option..... rather than the excuse model.
how about try age appropriate
how about try age appropriate project stations. but you have to be tricky about it-pretend they are for you set out paints and paper, or craft projects and start to do them yourself like a paint by number, or sketch pad and colors or colored craft clay with funny cutters, then start doing the projects and walk off.....and then be loud about oh I forgot to put the laundry in the washer... then leave it unfinished. awesome 3-D puzzle... or make one clay bunny and put it up high in a display next to the colored clay... bait the creativity, but definitely don't suggest 14 year old do it... has to be high enough so twins can't get it...put several project stations baits around the house so she can prove how much better she is at it then you....then not too many comments on what her reactions to the project stations or any of her creations because she will think you did it for her which is probably not what she wants...and dont suggest she do it with you cause that will drain too much of your attention and time.... just be chill and leave out the partially done projects
Some good ideas, but we just
Some good ideas, but we just don't have the space for all the right now... plus my boys climb everything and use everything as a steeping stool. I might find something that will keep her busy in her room though