Would you an issue with this??
So SD has been with us for the past 4 months now. She has only been back to BM house 2 times within those months. She does go to her grandmothers house every other week to do virtual learning cause I wasn't going to hold all that responsibility. My question is.... everytime she goes to grandma or BM house she brings a ton of stuff back to our house. Now DH literally doesn't have a problem and doesn't see it as a big deal, but everytime it happens I start having a mini panic attack. I know the underlying for me is that she is never going back to BM and that freaks me out! Does anyone have this issue of SKids bring more stuff to their home constantly?? If SD was actually neat and organized I might not care but the fact the she is so junky and never cleans up just bothers me. I want to tell DH, but it's hard cause I feel like everytime she comes back here I am complaining about something. I just hate this place I'm in with SD and BM right now. I keep telling DH I need something done, BM doesn't do anything and he doesn't push. I literally think of leaving everytime SD comes back here. Anyway.... any ideas on how to approach all the extra stuff? The stuff is clothes mostly , which I don't see why she needs it if she is at home all the time.
We don't have that problem,
We don't have that problem, because BM and DH have 50/50 and skids have everything they need at both houses. In your case, it sounds like SD is bringing stuff to your house because that's where she's spending her time. It doesn't do her any good at BM's house if she's never there. And I understand that that's exactly your issue - you'd rather her (and her stuff) be at BM's. Seeing SD's clothes and other stuff coming through your door is just a reminder that you're stuck with her for now.
The stuff itself coming to the house wouldn't bother me, and I wouldn't have an issue with it as long as there was space in SD's room for it, and it stayed in her room.
I understand wanting your
I understand wanting your stuff, but I just don't get bringing it all here. Before when we were EOW she had stuff with us and BM. I just don't get why it can't stay that way. Especially when you have plenty of stuff already here.
I understand why you don't like it,
I understand why you don't like it, but from her perspective it makes sense that she would want most of her stuff where she is living most of the time. And she is a teenage girl, so clothes are probably important to her, even if she isn't going out anywhere.
Does she have her own room? If so, close the door and don't worry about the mess unless it becomes a health hazard. Make it a rule that her stuff needs to stay in her room. If she doesn't already do her own laundry, now would be a good time for her to start.
I think the larger issue is
I think the larger issue is that your DH is doing nothing about the fact that BM has dumped her there while he still pays support. When does he plan to take some action on this?
I toss "stuff" out equally across the board
Ss's need to keep their "stuff" in their rooms. If they leave it laying around the little ones break it, and it ends up in the garbage. Even if the little ones (ours') don't pick up their toys, garbage it goes too. I can't tell you how much junk has magically disappeared in this house due to not being picked up and put in it's place. And that's for bio's and skids, even DH.
Love this!! This is the
Love this!! This is the attitude I feel inside and needs to come out. I hate clutter and SD and DH seemed to just be unbothered
Totally fine if SD starts
Totally fine if SD starts bringing over crap... but it needs to stay in her room. When SD10 leaves stuff downstairs, I pile the stuff on the stairs as a hint it needs to be carried up... blankets, laptop, colored pencils, chargers, skateboard, etc. This stuff doesn't need fto be laying around the den. I also don't like clutter and DH and I put away many of our personal items in our bedroom. The kitchen table is not a catch-all for crap, I actually like to sit down and be able to enjoy a meal.