Opinion re: Step daughter alienation
I wasn't sure if I should post this in the Stepchildren or the grandchildren section so I'll start with the Stepchildren.
One of my adult step daughters has almost nothing to do with us except if she wants something. If she has a problem or wants something she is right on the phone to my husband. Otherwise we can't get her to do anything with us. She is an adult in her late thirties so she can do what she wants but we barely see our grand-daughter. This had been a long standing problem. When she needed daycare for our grand-daughter she asked me to do it and I did for 3 years. Our grand-daughter has medical issues and needs special care so I even took training to be able to care for her. Once my step daughter didn't need daycare anymore she dropped almost all contact except by phone with my husband (her father) when she needs something.
Slowly, I realized that we barely see our grand-daughter and she is ten years old now. Next thing I know she will be grown up. I asked my husband to be more specific in inviting his daughter to do things so we can see our grand-daughter but she is evasive and she lies, doesn't respond or makes excuses. This past year I have seen my grand-daughter twice, once when I dropped off a wedding invitation to my daughter's wedding and again Christmas Eve. They had accepted an invitation to come here for Christmas Dinner but three days before Christmas when my husband phoned to check our grand-daughter's diet requirements we found out they were having their own Christmas dinner. My step-daughter said she had told us but she hadn't. That is why we went over Christmas Eve.
Does anyone have any insight for me? My step daughter was twenty when her parents split up so she was already an adult when I started to see him. My husband was very close to her when she was growing up as he did the horse show circuit with her. We don't want to be pushy and loose all contact but it seems that we are heading that way regardless.