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Christmas changes

I don't trust her's picture

My boyfriend’s custody order gives him the children the first part of the Christmas break. The kid’s mom gets them back Christmas afternoon. With this in mind we made plans to do Christmas over the weekend. We will be visiting my family and staying in a cabin my great aunt owns. We’re bringing all their gifts from us so they can open them Saturday. The idea was this would actually give them time to play with the new stuff rather than them opening it all Christmas morning then leaving a few hours later. It also allows boyfriend to be fully involved because he has to work part of Christmas day. The plan was as normal Santa would still bring their stockings Christmas morning but that’s mostly candy.

Well boyfriend and bio-mom changed things up. Instead she will be getting them almost a week later and plans to do her Christmas after that. Don’t get me wrong I’m SUPER excited about this but now I’m torn. I agreed to them opening the gifts early because they would be leaving Christmas now though it feels wrong but boyfriend doesn’t want to change it and honestly I understand.

As such I feel like we should consider getting at least one more present for Christmas day. Boyfriend says we don’t need to but he’s not against it either. We haven’t gone over the top in my eyes. Both children have 3 gifts right now that cost between 10 and 20 apiece. We spent another 10 to 15 between the two stockings. Another gift would be 20 max a piece but I’m looking around. I thought about getting a craft or science kit from Wal-Mart. Most are about 10 and would give the kids something fun to do Christmas day till dad gets home.

What do you guys think? The kids are very well behaved and we’d give them the world if we could but they aren’t spoiled. The last time they got presents it was for their birthdays. They are getting a few more gifts from my family but that still means nothing under the tree Christmas morning. I know I’m really the only one this brothers.


twoviewpoints's picture

You one one pre-school, not sure about the second child. 

You might consider an easy fun board game (back in my kiddie days it was simple such as Candy Land) and with my own kids they enjoyed Jenga). Take the game to open at the cabin and they can play together or with adults. Check the dollar store or dollar section at Target for card game like Old Maid and some color books/crayons or puzzles. You could get it all (game and the small extras) for less than $20. 

I agree with you that the main presents belong at home on Christmas morning since the kids will be there longer than originally planned. The kids will continue to play with and enjoy the early presents and get additional things on Christmas. It will keep them happy and somewhat occupied for the extended holiday you weren't expecting.


I don't trust her's picture

I understand my boyfriend’s reason for wanting to continue with our plans. We both took off special for this and he has to work Christmas morning. He wants them to be able to open their gifts then be together while they enjoy them like before the divorce. We’re doing everything like it’s Christmas morning. We’ll have our Christmas breakfast and everything. If we wait till Christmas morning he can’t be involved in these things.

There’s also the slight worry that she might change her mind and since the order says she has them we’d have no choice but to let her take them.

lieutenant_dad's picture

My parents worked odd shifts, so sometimes Christmas was a few days early. Sometimes Santa brought us stuff early because our parents worked and made a "special" request. Honestly, none of us cared that we didn't celebrate on the day.

If you're concerned they'll feel like they didn't "get a Christmas on Christmas" then plan to decorate cookies or have a movie watching party or something.

Ultimately, the people that will notice are you and BF. The kids will not care.

justmakingthebest's picture

I don't see anything wrong with one more small gift- as long as your are financially ok with it. I think the big problems come when people over spend. The real thing, I think, that you would want you kids to have here is the memories- A lovely cabin with you and their dad and the "magic" you guys have as a family there. They won't remember what you got them for christmas this year in a few years but they will remember that trip. Having another small gift, especially a game or something like you suggested, science kit, would be great for Christmas morning from Santa.