You are here

It's time for an ultimatum..

Christinas's picture

Submitted by Christinas on Thu, 03/22/2012 - 11:22pm

My DH has been divorced for 15 years. He has two grown children one has a mental illness and her BM treats her awful. The other one is 25 and I feel is overly pampered by BM. BM has started so many problems she hates me because me and DH just had a baby. This poor excuse for a human talks bad about my son to his 25 year old sister. My DH took it upon himself knowing that I can't stand the woman for lots of reasons brought my baby to her house. he didn't ask me what I thought because he knew I'd say no. His reason for bringing him over to her house was so she could see he is an innocent baby and stop talking about him. I am livid when I asked what they did and if they seen anyone and he tells me he went to her home. Yes he did tell me but still who does that? The more I think about it the more it makes me mad. She has no business meeting my baby and I feel he just fueled her even more.

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 03/22/2012 - 11:31pm

As annoying as it is he is the childs father and has the right to take your son wherever he can legally take him. Was his decision a good one? No. But this is his child as well.

Also why worry about what his stupid ex wife has to think about your baby? Does she decide what school he can go to? What clothes he wears? Who his Dr is? So why care a bout her opinion? She is mean spirited and nasty. So why worry about what she says and thinks? Is your DH repeats her comments say "So? Why should I care?" If you act very normal and ignore her then SHE looks crazy.
And never let your DH have your son alone again. He cannot be trusted.

henrythedad's picture

Submitted by henrythedad on Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:49am

I agree that DH should never have the child alone. I am a total advocate of each parent having 100% undivided rights over a shared bio child but when one parent has STRONG objections with supported reasons then the other MUST respect that. You asked your DH not to take your child to BM's home. That is reasonable and his failure to respect your wishes is reprehensible.

You did not ask him not to take the child to the supermarket or the movies - you asked him not to take them to a person who causes problems in your life. That, IMHO, is grounds for telling him that he is not a responsible caregiver and therefore not to be alone with the child.

Filly's picture

Submitted by Filly on Fri, 03/23/2012 - 1:54am

My DH took it upon himself knowing that I can't stand the woman for lots of reasons brought my baby to her house.

What was he doing going over to her house anyways? Is this common? I have never seen the house of the ex. We always met in town to pick up the girls. Though it has always pissed me off she some how finds her self at my house, never alone though, I am usually here and know she is coming. It just makes me mad that my husband can not do the same and take the girls in town some where , where the ex can pick them up and stay away from the property

Sometimes I think men are stupid! They get to proud and want to rub their ex's nose into something. Like he wanted her to come here to see the house because the house is big and beautiful and he knew it would P.O her. Which it worked. She said some stupid crap like the girls did not want to come here because the hosue was nasty. HAHAHAH the house was never nasty. It always stayed clean. At the time we still had clutter from not unpacking the boxes when she came here. Everytime the girls came here they always brag how pretty the house is and it is bigger then their BM. Pffffft ex is jealous

I see him doing the same damn stupid thing if we ever have a kid. He would take the baby with him just to rub her face in it.

Men = stupid sometimes.

If I was in your shoes I would be mad. I would not want the ex near my kid, I do not even want her holding my kid either. I would even be more mad if I knew my husband was at his ex's house. That to me is crossing bounderies.

My husband say a dozen times once the girls are grown he is telling the ex go to hell, we are done. The girls can find him and come visit him that he no longer has to see the ex's ugly face anymore.

I would think since the kids are in their 20s what the hell is your DH doing still communicating with his ex and going to her house?????? That is pretty much out of bounds in my book. He has no business being there.

henrythedad's picture

Submitted by henrythedad on Fri, 03/23/2012 - 2:09am

Please be careful with the BM seeing all the "goodies" you have. In my experience, that is when they suddenly decide they need more more money and take you back to court for more child support!