You are here

SD needs to grow up at some point.

Christinas's picture

:? So for V-Day I get a trip to Miami. I'm completely excited to go, being this is the 1st vacation for just my DH and myself. All other vacations have been to see the SD or to vacation with her somewhere. I don't mind doing that however I feel like I deserve a vacation for just the two of us. She just got back from a 2week vacation less then a month ago and she asked her dad if she can come with us on our trip. He said no and I'm guessing he said this trip was planned for us. We are planning a family Vacation in August to Florida and I told him she is more then Welcome to come then. He later tells me she said no she wasn't interested in going then at all. I assume it's because I have younger children and she is 25. He then tells me that he is planning a vacation for us three in October so she can go I told him that's crazy to spend that much money in one year on vacations heck she might as well go with us. Well guess who is going now. Yes she is coming on my Valentines trip. Not the entire trip but 3 of the 5 days. I find out to that he didn't even talk to her about the family trip his ex wife did. His ex wife would of course persuade her from going because she feels like if my DH can afford to take another trip he should just for her. Oh and the ex wife is jealous that we just had a baby. How would you handle this?


Ommy's picture

SHE IS 25 I would refuse to go. Flat out no. I am 21 and I dont throw a fit because my parents dont take me on their trips. Hell no would I allow her to go. I would be screaming at my FDH if he ever does something like this and I would most likely file for Divorce. SHE IS 25!!!!

Anon2009's picture

When I was 25, you could not pay me a million dollars to go on vacation with my parents & their spouses unless it was a family trip where all of the family members met up somewhere. I love my parents to death but at 25 it's just fun to be living your own life. SD needs to realize this. Someone on this site said something recently about SDs stop growing up at a normal rate when their parents divorce. This may well be what's going on with your SD. DH shouldn't let her come on this trip, and the next time he wants to financially give anything to her, it should be money for counseling appointments.

DaizyDuke's picture

25? That is so dumb... I'm with Anon, I would NEVER go on a trip with my mom and step dad at that age! When I was about that age, my mom and I did go on a trip, just the two of us, to visit my aunt, but I paid my own way.

Dear Lord... I am really beginning to think that there is no magical age (18) anymore... these stupid skids are going to be entitled and running around with their hands out for the rest of our lives. UGH!

Filly's picture

After I read 25 I was a little stun. She is a little old isn't she?
Does she not have a life of her own?

Golly geez I wish I could have a kid , I would love to watch BM spend out of control since she thinks the the Golden Uterus! Me having a kid with DH would crash her world.
Oh come on god bless me, doc didn't say I couldn't have any, just harder.

CrazieCoconut86's picture

There is no way in hell I would let her go. I am 25 and I can tell you that there is no way I would want to go on a trip with my parents. That is just asking for trouble. Tell your DH you were being sarcastic about her coming along, that she is NOT invited to join you all. This is your trip, it is suppose to be a romantic getaway for valentines day. If SD has a problem with that, she can kiss your ass.

LPS's picture

That's ridiculous. Tell your DH no, she cannot come plain and simple. Tell him if she goes, you're not going. If you want to go anyway, make sure she has a horrible time.

Christinas's picture

I have thought about just letting them go and enjoy because it won't be a pleasant trip for me. She does have a life she lives in another state NY City she just recently had a break up with her bf after there 2 week vacation in Eroupe. During Christmas she had a trip to Las Vegas. I feel like she could always come to the state we live in Texas and meet her baby brother who is 6 months old that she has never met. I'm all for him paying for her to come here. Might I add that she got a substantial amount of money for V-day from her dad. And every trip she takes he gives her spending money and then covers bills when she can't pay them. Ugh

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I would refuse to go, since it was planned as a couple's trip. I would also give him the lingerie I bought for the trip, and tell him to put it to good use with little wife #2. Furthermore, I would find myself very turned OFF by his behavior.

imthewife's picture

First off a 25 year old has NO business going on a family vacation anymore.

Second...this trip was a gift to you? Hell no...she doesn't go.

Third...she was invited on a later trip and decided she doesn;t want to go on that FREE now DH is planning another one just for you three? That's a little sick.

I would plan my own vacation at that point...sounds like DH needs to grow up and cut the cord? What's with all the catering to an adult?

Christinas's picture

Ive thought about if I did go just do my own thing. If she goes it will be all about her I know this because he hasn't seen her in almost a year. The last time he seen her he flew to NY and stayed the weekend I didn't go. When I have been to NY to visit her with him I always give them a day to do whatever without me. They dont ask for it I just do it feeling like it the right thing to do. I'm just sick about this trip I've been so excited about... I would be the 3rd wheel on my Vacation.. Maybe I should invite a friend to tag along. (=

Ommy's picture

You need to stand up to him she is not a child she is 25. I know I am very confrontation but this trip was a gift to you. Dont roll over on this. You and your husband deserve at least one trip just the two of you. Again she is not a child she is 25. This is coming from a 21 year old that is a full time role step mom, has a full time job at a law firm and has support herself at the age of 17. This girl is 25 and needs to be told no.

Christinas's picture

Someone please tell me how to make him see this isn't normal behavior on her part.. I feel like he thinks I'm the one being mean because she never has an issue with me going.