My DH knows I use ST as an outlet to vent about about past situations and to get insight about step issues. He has a very different attitude about life in general. His is one of " Don't bother me about details, It is what it is. or if they do not like it then f--- them." and I have always been more of the " Should I have done more, or something different, always looking back wondering if I had reacted differently, if I had been more informed could I have had a better result."

I got into a disscussion with him the other day about the post of someone that had a DH expecting her family to include his daughter on a trip being paid for by her family. A teen that they barely knew. My DH commented that hearing "grandparents are taking the kids to Disney" could easily leave him assuming that,

His comment once again confirmed how differently we see the world. He mentioned how he would have liked his children to have the advantages that he saw his stepchildren having when growing up.
[ This was a different wife} and he would have been satisfied with his children just being welcome in the home but he felt they never were. [typical SM hated my girls syndrone]

Discussions with DH are never in depth but usually barely scratch the surface before he loses interest. I did manage to point out that the advantages in life that children receive are often based on what their own parents and family have achieved. Reality is none of us are entitled just because the guy next door has what we would like to have. That guy next door probably has= because he made different life choices. I pointed out the time when we were raising his 11 yr. old grandson. He came to us questioning why he did not have all the advantages his young friend had. We both sat the child down and explained "You are not entitled. He is an only child. He has parents that got their college educations, and made the choices in life that allow them to give him the life he has." [his mother had not made the same choices]

End of discussion

What I thought afterwards Does DH realize yet that the choices he made all through life created the relationship or lack of it that he has with his children. Does he realize that he at one time had the opportunity and ability to change the course of his children's lives but didn't. It would have taken effort,determination,sacrifice on his part.
Much easier to blame a step mom for what she didn't do then admit what you should have been doing.

Oh well as he says " It is what it is."