What the...why are you bringing another innocent child into this mess? Seriously why?

The two of you combined already have 6 kids...6!

Wow we have alot in commen. I too am with a guy that I went to school with. We also hooked up almost 25 years later. He is going through a divorce. His spawn just turned six. Please read some of my blogs and get back to me. It sounds like we are living each others lives!!!!!!

If his child goes to live with his mom, while your 4 lives with him,he will resent you.

Your MIL will also. She will get stuck raising her son's child while he is raising your 4. That is just crazy.

Was she like this before you got with your husband? Maybe she feels like it's alot of competition since it went from 2 to 6. Maybe she'll grow out of it because I don't agree with her living with grandma when there's nothing wrong with her dad.

Same here, SO and I have known each other for almost 17 years and were best friends. We lost contact after 5 years and didn't speak for about 7 years. We met back up and he was leaving his then GF who is BM and I had not been with my ex in about 3 years. I had kids, he had kids, his kids didn't seem all that bad at first and since it's just progressively gotten worse. I'm always so stressed and upset when it's his weekend to have his kids because I know it's gonna be a crappy feeling and often we bet on which one will be worse and if the weekend will be worse then the last visit. I've told him more then once I feel his kids behavior is what will eventually rip us both apart for good and I feel their behavior hinders us working anything out between us.

so sorry to hear you doing it so hard I really get that. I also get that she is only 6 and this will take a lot of time imagine how hard it is for her feeling so threatened by your kids and not knowing how to get you and them to like her. A child can't verbalise or understand what's going on. Get sone couselling before you end up going crazy and hating her and losing your husband. g ood luck.

Is therapy a possibility for anyone involved? If she was mistreated by her mom, the kid might benefit from counseling and if it's possible, you and your DH seeing a marriage counselor might help. It sounds like the biggest problem might not even be the child herself, but the way your DH is dealing with her. She's 6 - she has the control she's allowed and if he's giving in and giving her whatever she asks for, allowing her to misbehave, be a tattletale, the whining, etc, that's a DH problem. That's him teaching her that it's ok for her to do these things that this behavior is really great because she's rewarded for it. He probably has a version of 'guilty daddy' as her life's been so hard up til now, but he's not helping her by allowing her to behave this way and disrupt the family.

It might also be a good idea for you to disengage from this child if you can. I wish you luck.

I have a similiar situation (minus a few kids). SD11 lives full time with us. This girl gets it all...she demands it all...she thinks she is deserving of it all. Every weekend my husband gets off, it is all about her. No time together as a couple...he thinks he is doing something wrong if she doesn't get to go everywhere we do. DH literally waits on her hand and foot like a maid. She literally does anything she wants because and gets anything that she wants that is in financial possibilty.

My son isn't raised that way and even though he says he understands and that he wouldn't want to be that way...I'm sure it seems unfair that one kid in the house gets everything she wants and then breaks it or doesn't use it and he is treated on special occasions and when he earns something and appreciates everything he gets.

SD11 and BS really don't interact much so there isn't any fighting. My son ignores her and she doesn't bother him for the most part but there have been a couple times and they were pretty bad.

With a baby coming and all the stress of your other children...you should wait on making any decisions until things calm down and your hormones are back to normal. Try to disengage...it really helps me. Good luck and I do understand...things will get better when your DH opens his eyes to reality. I'm hoping that will happen to me too.

Well it sounds like things are set in motion, you can't go back and change the fact that you and he moved forward with forming a blended family and are now expecting an addition to that. so how do you deal with it?

Is it so bad that it's worth breaking apart what you've started and creating yet another broken home for your new baby?

or is there enough there to salvage?

maybe giving SD to your MIL is extreme but why not let her have some extended visitation to get her out of your home more often. Is that a possibility?

I think the biggest factor will be how open your SO is to fixing this. Will he work with you? Is he committed enough to make big changes in his parenting?

I think counseling and/or parenting classes might be in order.

I think if you feel this strongly (and you have 4 other kids to look out for) you need to lay it out for him.

But you do have to be realistic, a six year old's behavior isn't going to change overnight. Agree and and look for small specific disipline/behavior changes and build slowly on them. Maybe look for ways to keep her more occupied and your own kids occupied and away from her wrath in the mean time.

Bottom line....is it worth fighting for?

I feel for you, I hope you find a solution.

"She is like a perfect storm wreaking havoc on the whole house."

what takes the peace from your home? She does right? IMO if everything else is fine w/out her, then encourage the staying with Grandma until you guys can solve things with therapy and slowly re-integrate.

You can't destroy a whole family AGAIN and their chance of a happy, peaceful home because of ONE kid. Dad will have to live w/it since he partially helped create the kid she is.

Life is not a fairytale. Ok as for the comments about blended families dont work. Listen when divorce rate is as high as it is, of course there are blended families. Just because someone comes with baggage does not mean they are worthy of a new life. Yes blending your families is hard. Lets remember that we are all in the same boat and that is why we are here blogging. MyLifeSucks try not to listen to the judgmental comments. Shame on anyone who has a negative comment on you being of child. As for your SD, I know how miserable one can make you. I too have a SD6. And it has not been easy. The more I stay firm and communicate with her Dad about her the Better it is getting. Instead of keeping it all inside and it making me so depressed now I go straight to my BF and tell him how I am feeling and why. Tell him about his child's dispicable behavoir and he does now try to correct her. She resisted at first but he has remained consistent. And thats all I want to see. That he is not oblivious to her tactics and does not let her run our home anymore. You will have good days and bad days. But once you got your SO on board, you will find you will have more good days than bad ones.