I am so tired, would like to call it quits!
I feel bad for saying so, but I would like to pack up my & DS things and leave. I feel guilty for disengaging! DH does EVERYTHING for SD, her wash, wake up calls, medical appointments, well everything! But I am feeling absolutely terrible.
DH has been getting out of work late & so I was left to help SD with her homework, I stopped because of her attitude. Well she did it again! She was banging her fists on the table, making her bull-ready to-attack noises, & trying to break the pencil attitude. All because I wouldn't give her the answer.
I am DONE! I love DH, I truly do, but I feel overwhelmed by all this. I suffer from depression & anxiety so this is not healthy for me. I am constantly feeling overwhelmed about SD & I feel like I walk on egg shells. We are in the process of getting custody of her & so I don't want to do or say anything that will ruin our chances. BM is a meth addict, I don't thin SD should be exposed to that. It was my brilliant idea for SD to come live with us. I was hoping that having a two parent household may provide more stability, but it feels like she is not adapting. She & I used to have a good relationship I thought this would work out well; I was WRONG! From the minute she got here she changed the dynamics.
I knew that DH had a kid, I have known her for 8 of her 10 years, but this is proven to be too much. The worst part, I have to continue to pretend everything is GREAT because of the upcoming CO. I stay up after everyone & cry. I feel myself loosing sleep & missing meals because of the anxiety. I just don't like this feeling! AND YES, I am in therapy & YES, I am being honest with my therapist about it all!
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Well I don't have much to say
Well I don't have much to say except that I understand and feel the same way. I hope it helps a little. Maybe other's on here can give you better advice but (hugs) your way.
This is pretty much what
This is pretty much what happened to us. Your Sd's age plays a role in it. She's trying to become her own person, at least the start of that phase of her life. If she doesn't take care of her school responsibilities, and DH isn't home, then there are natural consequences...the teacher will take care of that part. And, hopefully, the teacher will contact your DH and not YOU about that. Then, it's on him.
When things have gone "bad" in our house (SD's stubbornness, sneaky behavior, etc) I had to keep my sanity by NOT RESPONDING to her antics. No matter what, even if it meant a mouthful of blood from biting my tongue (not literally of course), I had to let it go. She's my SD and she has 2 parents. I may be the custodial female figure, but I am NOT her mother. That's the only way I have made it this far.
Today is another issue for me. You may be able to navigate her teenage years better than I have, if you have DH's full support. You can do what you can do. Don't cause yourself MORE anxiety by trying to control her, especially if you are feeling like you are now.
Focus on your DS. HE is your priority. That may help a little...keep coming here. It's helped me and I am glad to know there are others who are treading water.
I learn a little tidbit each time I visit here. And those tidbits have KEPT ME from walking out.