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In need of venting!!

gtrmom's picture

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok feel a bit better... I so want to bitch slap DH and go to a place where I can be alone for a few days, no work, no kids (step or bio), AND NO DH!!! I am tired of driving people around, making all DH's appointments & reminding him of them, cooking and being told that I need to add more recipes to my repertoire, constantly being nagged about why they can't watch TV, and the list goes on...

I want to hide, for at least an hour! I wish I could get home and be able to rest, but I can't! I know this is the life of a mom and a wife, but I didn't sign up to be everyone's personal assistant or punching bag. I hardly get a thank you, which is aggravating me as of recently.

Today, I had to take SD to her regular biweekly therapy appointment, which I scheduled. I am the only one that leaves work early to take the kids to any appointment I may have scheduled. I guess I am so upset of all these scheduling because it is all at DH's "request". "We" need to help SD with any issue she may have because of her crappy mother's decisions but I am the only that has to do all the leg work, my legs are TIRED!! "We" need to find a lawyer to fight for custody, can you make calls find one?" After I found the lawyer, DH will call me and tell me "I need an appointment with the lawyer, call and set an appointment".. no please or thank you!! "Lawyer said SD needs to see the therapist, can you call around to look for one, ohh and make sure they are in network!!" "SD needs to see a dentist, can you set an appointment for her!" "SD needs to be enrolled with BS's pediatrician, can you go get the paperwork and set an appointment!?" "SD will be going to see her other siblings, you'll need to drive 1 hr away to drop her off, so you may want to sleep early to wake early because I spoke to her sdad and he can only picke her up int he morning at XX:XX time!" "ohh did I forget to tell you, you need to cancel SD's med appointment because you need to take her to ____ appointment!"

All this and not ONE please!! I finally got tired the other day and gave him the silent treatment, I was afraid if I spoke I would say something I would later regret. He finally asked "what is wrong with you?" with an *I guess I'll ask what is wrong* attitude. I, like most of us have, said nothing... HE ACTUALLY LEFT IT THERE... LMAO!! I laugh because there is nothing else I can do, except for crying but I can't bring myself to cry at this time, I am too upset. Finally he asked again and I told him, very calmly I must add which I was very surprised about I thought I was going to go on a screaming rampage, that he has failed to say please and/or thank you for all the things he requests me to do for him and HIS kid! At first he was upset that I was upset, but quickly calmed down when I told him that if he were to give me attitude I was going to back off, which meant that HE was going to have to drive HIS kid to all her appointments. He has been better, he drives her to school in the mornings now and gets the kids breakfast in the mornings; he even cooked dinner tonight!!!! YAY!!

But I am still very upset about today Sad I took SD to her therapy appointment and guess who got an a$$ chewing because someone hasn't signed paperwork giving me authorization to take her to a pediatrician. AND guess who was lectured on how important it is to make sure she is allowed to speak to her "mother" and I have to figure out a way to get her to see BM. WHY me??

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! ok, I am done... I feel much better now!

Comments

shootingstarz's picture

Ugh. This is all so frustrating. I am sorry DH is treating you this way. If it continues, I'd stop doing anything for him. Period!

This is why I put my foot down from the beginning with DH. I don't do any of these types of things for his kids. He picks them up. He drops them off. Hell, they are never even over at our house unless he is home because I won't babysit. He cooks for them (which really only means putting a pizza in the oven). If he never met me that's how things would still have been. He did everyting for them then and he does everything for them now. Because... HE'S THEIR FATHER AND THAT'S WHAT HE SHOULD BE DOING! Total newsflash, I know. Smile

I hope your DH stops being an ungrateful jerk. He's obviously lucky to have you and is taking full advantage of it.

TickleBrie's picture

@ gtrmom... :jawdrop:

@ shootingstarz... You're my very Dirol hero Wink

sonja's picture

OMG! I feel for you! This is insane.. I read so many posts and see how many women step up even though they are just step-mom. AMAZING! I could not pretend to be the REAL mom to someone else's kid and get no appreciation! Theres just no way. I agree.. cut him off unless he can please/thankyou at the very least!! Not your kid! Not your problem!

I think its the woman in us that makes us step up to help assist or even take care of someone else's child, but there needs to be a line! good luck! You deserve a break!

gtrmom's picture

Thank you guys! I have spoken to DH in the past. I majored in psych & social work and so every time I would tell him that a certain thing concerned me about SD's behavior he would roll his eyes. I told him a few years back that SD needed therapy, but it wasn't until the lawyer suggested it that he came to the conclusion that his daughter needed to see someone. Anyway, after nagging him about SD's behavior & angry outbursts he made a comment about how I was using SD as my lab experiment, that I was trying to apply my knowledge on her. I was LIVID! I told him that if he didn't appreciate everything I did for HIS kid then he can take care of her. She is 10 a & still needs help with simple tasks, it took her almost 2 months to learn how to turn on & off the shower (it is 2 knobs that turn right or left) so I was the one to do it for her. She even got stuck putting on her PIJAMAS a few times! After a week of him doing everything for her, he came with his tail between his legs & apologized. Now we are back to square one. Whose fault is this? MINE!! I just feel trapped, I need to keep everyone happy because we are trying to get custody of her. She tells her therapist everything, who is going to have an influence on the final decision. Even tho SD gets on every single one my last existing nerves, I want the best for her. I don't want her to go back to her crack, meth, & God knows what else, addicted mother. But I am tired!! I hav»”
e a full time job as a social worker so I don't want to come home and still feel like I haven't left the office!

Jsmom's picture

Oh Dear god...Girl you need to say no and very loudly. This is not your kid. Anything you do is a bonus. THis is his problem.

We show people how to treat us. You need to show him that this is not acceptable. Start not being available for these things and it may wake his ass up.

We do for these kids if we want to, not because we have to. I do not do any driving unless I am asked and DH has a damn good reason why he can't. I have my own kid to raise. He has his.

Stop letting him assume you will take care of everything. JUST SAY NO!!!