Same old yearly school clothes annoyance
Every year it's the same thing. I brace myself for it and tell myself I'm not going to let it bother me and every year it does.
DH is NCP and pays over the calculated amount in CS. 'I' believe that CS is expected to cover the cost of clothing a child, school supplies and clothes included. 'I' also ALWAYS pick up a few things for SD while I am school shopping. Or we go and do a little shopping prior to school while SD is with us. SD has what ever she wants, the best of everything, there is nothing she wants for. The clothes we do buy for SD we eventually see on BM, so it's a sore spot to begin with.
Used to be BM would ask us to help out with school clothes. Ok, we choose to do a little and what we feel we can budget for. I am totally ok with this. Then she started trying to tell us exactly what we should buy, 'this shirt from this store' or 'these exact sneakers'. When we didn't comply she tried 'Sd only likes these certain stores so please don't buy her anything from anywhere else'. Really???? I guess she'd rather have nothing. Ok by me.
so this year it has progressed to 'you can just give me the money and I'll pick out some things for her'. Oh hell no !!! DH had the good sense to tell her no, I dont' think so.
I'm wondering where the money is going to come from to get my own kids ready for school, I don't need the added stress!
Just my vent on the school shopping subject. I know many of you deal with it also.
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Comments
School shopping is fun - or
School shopping is fun - or should be. I remember being excited to have new school clothes as a kid. I enjoy taking the kids. If they appreciate it and it makes DH happy to splurg on them once in a while, all is good.
At our house it becomes another topic of spendig beyond our means trying to make SD happy when in reality nothing seems to work. When it becomes a burden, I'm out.
in the beginning i would buy
in the beginning i would buy clothes for her ~~ well, we've all heard that story ~~ all the good stuff i bought ended at bm's and the cousins nasty ass hand me downs (including underwear --ick!) ended up at my house...
so, i quit buying clothes and dh has never said a word... until this year he mentioned school supplies... (apparently a friend of his mentioned he has to get kid clothes & supplies ~~ b/c his wife doesn't do shit, craziest relationship i have ever seen ~ both bios) anyway, i told dh that's what cs is for and anything i buy disappears...but that i would have back up supplies when the list comes out..
I agree to a point. The idea
I agree to a point. The idea is I don't have to buy her anything, so I really don't appreciate having BM tell me what stores I can shop in. And if I can't afford her stores I'd rather not waste money on something she won't wear. Everything I buy her already takes away from 2 kids that I am responsible for clothing. My kids don't get ALL their stuff from name brand places and they survive. Even when I buy her exactly what she wants she wont' wear it, BM ends up sporting all her clothes. just irritating.
Child support covers school
Child support covers school clothes. I would never dream of asking my ex to help with that. That's what I get child support for.
If you feel like buying a little something special, great! But it shouldn't be expected. We have custody of my stepkids. If their mother even purchased them a piece of clothing, I would probably drop dead of shock. And she doesn't pay us a dime of child support.
My train of thought also. We
My train of thought also. We help out and buy a few things because we want to, because it's the nice thing to do, because we dont' want to draw that hard line in the sand.
So now BM has taken something we choose to do to be nice and turned it into something that causes stress. but that's typical
I am using this for sure!!!
"I trust you have budgeted according to your income and CS received so that you can provide all the necessary back to school supplies. If you would rather forgo receiving CS and have us help with expenses as they arise, we are open to discussing that." Smiling
Ugh! My ss evidently
Ugh! My ss evidently dictated to dh what we needed to purchase him-4 pairs of pants and 2 shirts. So that's what we bought. Then dh felt like he should buy more-because mine and ours got more than that. I attempted to explain to him that ss has another parent who is responsible for purchasing clothes and did actually purchase him some things. He bought him another shirt from Abercrombie-because that's where my son got his clothes.
My DH doesn't get it either.
My DH doesn't get it either. Well actually I think he does but to him it's more important that SD never feels shorted or jealous of what we (I) provide for my kids. But it never ceases to amaze me that it can be completely ignored when SD tells my kids at every chance how she has this or that at home, or she'll tell my kids she has one of those but it's better, or how her mom will buy her that if she wants it. And it doesn't sink in when we are in a store and she can't find somthing that she doesn't already have. That should ring some bells, but NO.
I used to pick up a few
I used to pick up a few things for the boys for school until last year, when I bought SS13 a couple of pairs of jeans from his usual store and he said "I don't wear jeans". So I returned them. It wasn't three weeks later that he came over and first thing I hear as I walk in the door was check out my new jeans. His mom had bought him pretty much the same pair I had... God was I pissed... I said I thought you don't wear jeans? I don't remember what he said but then I vowed I wasn't going to buy them clothes anymore.