They were all 1/2 hr late for the meeting & bs brought his gf along. Seeing as she is always around we decided to let her stay for the meeting. Though if she made any unwelcome comments we also planned to ask her to leave.
DH & I had written rules on large cardboard sheets to hang on the walls. Non-negotiable rules
The meeting began with some eye rolling and sighing but we persevered in stating the rules one by one and elaborating the consequences of each one.
We also made a detailed statement that this was our house, we are the adults, we pay for this roof over their heads & work very hard to do that. Therefore we will not be disrespected and any issues with our relationship ia none of their business.
This was met with a bit of argueing such as your relationship effects us etc but we stood firm and just repeated out statement again.
I stated quite firmly that the 2 older one BD17 & BS19 were young adults and needed to behave accordingly & that it was my job as a parent to help them to become decent & productive adults.
BS19's violent & abusive behaviour was brought up and he was told sternly that his behaviour is completely unacceptable not only in our home but in society & that he must work on an anger management plan fir the future fir times he feels he wants to explode in this manner.(bd8 had been sent to a playdate at my friends house) bd 8 had helped ti make her own rule chart the night before & was very proud of it
So the rules were stating with minimum fuss and a few duscussions which where handled / brought into line quickly. Though BS19 had taken our previous anger management suggestion as a queue to not respond ir contribute but merely say "i gave to bite my tongue right now"
We did let him know that if he had a major issue with our rules he needed to speak up because the rules are non negotiable & if he plans not to folliw them then ge would need to find sonewhere to live.
It was too easy & eerily quiet we new they were plotting & thus was not over, but we ended the meeting as DH had to work soon after.
BS19 was moody & skulking about the house.
I decided that i would go out and have a couple of hours to myself being as it was a lively sunny day and miss8 was at her playdate for a while longer.
Went to the library and read some magazines in the sun, picked a book for BD17 regarding teens planning their futures etc.
Phone call from BS saying he has added his own rules to our charts and generally being rude. Still complaining about the situation with the dog.
I stood my ground, reinforced the new rules & hung up.
When i got home he had pulled down & ruined the rules charts.
Miss8 was very upset - she spent a lot of time decorating her chart & liked the rules.
So i spoke to BS about hos behaviour being that of a 2yr old having a tantrum than a young adult. He continued to argue about the rules & issues with me & DH. Anything i said to reinforce what had been said was met with "thats not the point"
Now i am exasperated, in my room, feeling taken over by yhe teens again. DH is at work.
I plan to go downstairs & speak to BS soon.
HELP!!???
What do i do now?