hello,

me and my wife have been married for over ten years, and i have had my step son since he was 2. he is now 12. we also have had 3 more sons 9, 7, 5 since we married. my step son usually stays in his room most of the time, but the times he does come out he is always harrassing my bio children, especially if he thinks im not watching. if one of them gets hurt during play, he shows absolutly no remorse for it, never voluntarily says he is sorry, if he gets in trouble at school he doesnt fear telling us about it, i used to punish him when he was younger and we had some peace in our house. but a few years ago my wife began to baby and side with him rather than lend me her support in keeping law and order in our home. but yet she always gets on to me for never punishing my ss, but if i do they act like i am awfulo and he threatens her with leaving and living with his BD. this also makes it hard to punish my other children because i dont want them to think that he gets away with everything and they dont.i dont know what to do with him, part of me wants him to leave so i can get my sanity back. the only peace and quiet we have is when he is somewhere else. if take them all somewhere on an outing, he does nothing but complain the whole time. he knows that i cant do much to him because of my wife, i want to get ahold of him so bad but i dont for my wifes sake, and i dont want to leave because i dont trust him around my bio children. i just hate to think of what he is going to be like a couple more years of no hard discipline. i feel so helpless and powerless to change anything. she lets him play video games i dont even want in my house, he is always disrespectful and has no fear of retribution or any feelings of guilt that i can see. the most i can do is ground him or lecture him but its not working.