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I can't seem to get happy about my life.

willow693's picture

I have been married for 11 years and most of those years have been good. My husband has custody of his daughter. She moved in when she was 8. Her mother had disappered with her for 5 years. When we found her she was on her way to jail for armed robbery. His daughter said that her mom had been telling her that he hated her and didnt want anything to do with her. Well after 3 years she is finally coming around to loving her father and knows that he loves her. Thats all well and good but her mother is the DEVIL. Three weeks ago BM had her husband and her father, mother, and two sisters jump us at the pick up place because my husband called her a crybaby. The BM husband was arrested and the others were given tickets. It never fails she is always causing problems for my husband which in turn causes us problems. I try to be the good supportive wife and be there for him. I just can't do it any more. I take care of my step daughter as if she is mine and I do love her. I just can't get past all the hate I have for this woman. We have custody yet we still pay her childsupport. She has three kids by three diffrent men. She dosent work and she lies all the time. But my step daughter loves her and see nothing wrong with what she does. That infurates me. We have spent over 30,000$ on attorneys in the past 3 years and we still aren't done. I just can't get happy. Its like she is always there even when shes not. I wonder sometimes if I really want to be apart of this marraige and situation any longer. Being a step parent is the hardest thing. I don't think I am strong enough for it.

Comments

Sara_Smile22's picture

So SD is now 11? I am really sorry about what you're dealing with, sounds extreme. My Ex is someone who has a criminal past and takes things to extreme as well. I am glad that my husband doesn't want to leave me because I made the mistake of marrying him and having kids with him, but I would understand if he did. It sucks to be the person that made that mistake and is putting the kids through it. She will always love and idealize her BM, that only gets worse with absence. It's easier to idealize when they aren't around much to crush your dreams. I do not have anything to give you in the hope department. She is going to continue to be the Devil, sounds like she has plenty of support in it. Your husband is just stuck because he can't take back the past. The kid will continue to idealize and the more influence BM and her crew has, the more screwed up the kid will be probably. Stepping is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'd never do it again. My current marriage is unstable as well since if SD 17 comes back and DH leaves town for work, I can't even trust her at home with my young children....so most I can give is empathy. A lot of us are in this boat.

willow693's picture

I thank you for your comment. I thought I was the worst person for feeling the way I do until I found this website. I know I am not alone. My husband says if we just love her that she will see later on who was there for her. Sometimes his optimisim angers me. But I drudge on. Thanks again for your comment.