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DH's email to BM regarding the Mexico trip

RedWingsFan's picture

He's sending it within the 5 days specified in their new court order (which means Friday):

After careful thought and consideration about your request for SD to go to Mexico in October, I have to decline my approval due to the following reasons:

First, I am not confident that you will provide me with the travel itinerary as you failed to do so within 48 hours (as stated in our revised court order) of her departure to Washington DC (instead you waited until after I had to contact your attorney asking for it).

Second and most importantly, the Mexican government is corrupt and that is the last place in the world I would ever want her to go. The high crime rate all over the country of Mexico is alarming to say the least.

I know you're under the impression that nothing will happen, but when I went to Mazatlan, a girl was abducted and taken to a hotel by a taxi driver and luckily there was a police office in the lobby to stop anything further from happening. I have attached a link to a website for you to read on your own.

In conclusion, due to important safety risks for Americans traveling to Mexico, my final answer is no. I will not sign the needed paper work to allow this to happen and I am adamantly against my daughter traveling to Mexico.
**Nevertheless, U.S. travelers should be aware that the Mexican government has been engaged in an extensive effort to counter TCOs which engage in narcotics trafficking and other unlawful activities throughout Mexico. The TCOs themselves are engaged in a violent struggle to control drug trafficking routes and other criminal activity. As a result, crime and violence are serious problems throughout the country and can occur anywhere. U.S. citizens have fallen victim to TCO activity, including homicide, gun battles, kidnapping, carjacking and highway robbery.

The only thing I did to this email was correct his grammar/spelling errors so this is all coming from him and him alone. I have a feeling BM isn't going to like it, but will jump through whatever hoops necessary to take the kid to Mexico. Oh and she'll be pulling her out of school for a week to go...


RedWingsFan's picture

Oh I'm sure she'll find a way to make it happen, but DH said he's not going to just roll over and make it easy on her. We were talking about it last night and he said "I wouldn't go to Mexico if someone GAVE me a trip there!"

overworkedmom's picture

PS- you might have him put her on the passport watch list. I did this after my ex threatened to take my kids out of the country whether I liked it or not. I have them on the alert program, so if she has anyone forge your signature or anything you will be alerted if your step daughter gets issued a passport.

RedWingsFan's picture

THANK YOU Overworkedmom! I just sent that link to DH. That's very helpful info! I didn't know this existed.

overworkedmom's picture

No problem! Someone on here gave it to me a while back when I was scared out of my mind. I tell everyone I know who has crazy exes about it now Smile

RedWingsFan's picture

No Ana, SD doesn't have a passport. So yes, she needs to have his signed approval to have a passport issued and he's not willing to give that. If she were traveling to say, France, England, Australia, whatever - he wouldn't have an issue. But for one, she isn't trustworthy, has broken their CO several times already and wants to pull SD out of school to take her to Mexico. He's not having it.

whatwasithinkin's picture

I just cringe when I read an email like this because I know the on slot of BULLSHIT your gonna have to deal with for the next couple of weeks.

I dont for the life of me understand, when will I not have to deal with this anymore. It's exhausting.

Hang in there, Im sure she will load all her best come backs in the return email

RedWingsFan's picture

I hear ya Whatwasi - but yeah, he's definitely not going to just allow her to go. He can deal with her bullshit (which in turn so will I), but if she takes him to court, he has documented proof that she can't follow their existing court order and has been negligent in the past with their daughter's safety.

Anon2009's picture

I think it's good he declined for safety reasons alone. If she was planning on taking SD to Cabo San Lucas, that'd be one thing, but she's been very bad at providing details.

RedWingsFan's picture

Yeah Anon, so far, there have been ZERO details as to where they intended to go, what days, how long she'd be taken out of school, etc.

RedWingsFan's picture

Cactus - that's what my boss said and she only took her minor daughter to Cozumel for a family wedding. She said it was a gorgeous and fully secure place but if it were anywhere other than Cabo, Playa del Carmen or Cozumel - she never would've gone.

misSTEP's picture

I really hate, with all the time off students already get, when a parent makes their child miss school for vacation.

Our BM took our skids out of school for a MONTH LONG vacation and couldn't understand why SS was falling behind and she was told he might have to go to summer school. She would actually order my DH to do certain things while they were down for his parenting time (like teach SS to read better, etc). And he did it...because it was best for the skids, not because of BM's demands.

RedWingsFan's picture

I get that too MisStep - she pulled her out of school last fall because her little 13 yr old boyfriend moved and SD was "too distraught to go to school" for four days afterwards!

RedWingsFan's picture

Thanks Rising - I appreciate you telling me of your situation as well.

I printed out the paperwork for DH to put her on the passport watch list. All he has to do is sign and date and off it'll go. We're going to be sure it's emailed before he sends the email to BM so she doesn't run out and try to apply for a passport immediately, because she would!

RedWingsFan's picture

No he doesn't and he won't. He just wants to get the application to put her on the list submitted before he sends the email to BM informing her that he's not signing for the passport to be issued so she doesn't run off immediately and file for one.

RedWingsFan's picture

No worries Hypo. He only shares with her what is absolutely necessary. I taught him that Wink

RedWingsFan's picture

Tog, she won't be able to get a passport for the kid once DH puts her on the passport watch list...and he proves that the request is unreasonable due to the dangers of Mexico and the fact that she's pulling the kid out of school for a pleasure trip, as well as the fact that she already violated their brand new court order with regards to SD's previous trip to DC just this month.

RedWingsFan's picture

I hope you're wrong Tog.

DH already has it documented that she's violated their new court order 3 times in a month and it was just finalized last month.

He also has it documented that she failed to provide him with SD's flight information, hotel and a way to contact her while she traveled to D.C. at the beginning of the month. That is clearly stated in their new court order.

DH has it also documented through the school officials that BM pulled SD out of school for 4 days last fall because her boyfriend moved away and she claimed SD was sick but admitted to the school that she was just "too distraught from the loss of her boyfriend" to attend class for almost a week.

To me, what judge is going to approve her to take the kid to a well-documented dangerous place and allow her to miss an extended period of school days just for a pleasure trip? It makes zero sense to me.

But if it does happen, so be it. DH has a lot of evidence piled up against BM with regards to being completely negligent with SD's safety, education and clearly violating their court order on multiple occasions.

RedWingsFan's picture

Wow that sucks Tog! I'm sorry BM is such a pain in the ass for you guys.

We've been able to get quite a bit over on BM because she's "not that bright" but now that her boyfriend is living with her, it seems she's "smartened" up a bit. I think it's him Wink

Either way, she won't know about the passport watch program until she goes to apply for a passport. At that point, she'll already have DH's email knowing he's not signing for it and she'll have to start court proceedings to get any further. If DH is court ordered to consent, he'll do it. Otherwise, she is NOT going to Mexico!

RedWingsFan's picture

Rising, we think BM would be just as dumb! Only because she's now CP, but they still share joint custody. I think she thinks that just because the kid lives with her full-time, she has the ultimate say-so and that DH will just roll over and do as she tells him since that's what he's always done in the past.

Not this time, chickie! You're NOT getting your way. And if she does take him to court and a judge allows her to pull her brand-new freshman out of school for a VACATION, then that judge is a flippin idiot!

I laugh about your story and hope that BM tries the same shit and loses her ass. Karma baby!

RedWingsFan's picture

Yes, Stepdown! She'd indicated October in her email asking if she could take SD on vacation. Well, DH checked with the school and there are NO school breaks in October, plus this is SD's first year at high school and she starts in August. So, not only is she getting used to a whole new school and environment, but a new workload as well and BM wants to pull her out only a couple months after she's started to go on a "vacation"??? NOT COOL!

Sunflower1's picture

Redwings, now I'm worried that BM won't let BF's (FDH) daughter to come to our wedding. We booked in the playa del Carmen area...Everyone I've talked to that has traveled there in the last year has had no problems. Now Juarez? I get that, I traveled there about fifteen years ago and it was bad then and I have heard has gotten worse. No way I would go into TJ, but surely the Rivera Maya and surrounding areas are ok?

Sunflower1's picture

Chokin- we choose the resort because it has unlimited calls to the states for that very reason. And of course BM would have flight times and what not.

RedWingsFan's picture

Sunflower - I talked with my boss and she's been to Playa Del Carmen. She says it's gorgeous there and very secure. She's taken her family there before and other than Cozumel and Cabo San Lucas, she says Playa del Carmen is the only other place she'd be comfortable going!

stepmonster_2011's picture

As I've always told my mother when we go on our annual Mexican vacation - It is no more dangerous there than in Chicago, unless you are lookin' for hookers and blow at 2am!

I totally understand the other issues at play here - but I highly doubt your BM and SD were going to be doing a mission trip to Juarez to build houses... My money is on resort town...

p.s. Mexico is safe as a box of kittens as long as you line up your hookers and blow well before 11pm.


RedWingsFan's picture

LMAO Stepmonster! Box of kittens eh? That's funny Smile

Glad to hear you've been safe during your travels. BM hasn't indicated ANY details about her trip so we don't know where she plans to go, for how long and when (other than sometime in October, which SD will be in the middle of her first year of high school).

JMC's picture

I've been to Mexico several times, most recently 2 yrs ago when DH & I vacationed in Cancun. Everything's great IF you're on a resort and don't venture off the grounds. It was pretty scary the trips to and from the airport and the few excursions we took, and especially unnerving waiting at a traffic light next to a pickup truck load of the Mexican militia sitting in the bed of the truck with guns locked and loaded. I was never so happy to reach American soil! My nephew is currently working patrol on the border in AZ, and says things are a lot worse than the news/gov't reports.

RWF, glad your DH is taking the extra step to put SD on the watch list. Surely with the proof of all BM's violations of the CO they won't allow her to override your DH decision.

RedWingsFan's picture

Hey JMC - it's all we can hope for! I just emailed his documentation to the government email address that does the passport watch program for children so hopefully they'll confirm receipt of it before tomorrow when DH sends BM the "denial" email. I don't want her running off as soon as she gets his email to apply for a passport for SD just because she knows DH won't sign for it and try to get away with finding a loophole.

Either way, if she gets to go in the end, fine. BUT, the facts remain. She broke their new CO several times with regards to SD's travel, didn't supply DH with the necessary flight and hotel and travel information (which looks very bad on her part), wants to pull SD out of school to go on a pleasure trip (just as she's starting her freshman yr in high school) and she's not trustworthy enough to take the kid out of state, much less to a foreign and potentially dangerous country!

I'll be sure to update as soon as BM returns DH's email after tomorrow!

RedWingsFan's picture

I heard about that NoDoormat!!! Scary as all Hell. Although if it happened to BM and SD, I don't think I'd care! LOL

Mexican officials are so damn corrupt it isn't funny. A friend of mine is FROM Mexico and she will only go to certain places. She said once her brother's friend (who is American) was driving to go visit them in Mexico and he got pulled over by police. When he asked why, the cop said "your headlight is broken" and promptly walked to the front of his rental car and busted the headlight out! He then demanded $500 from the driver or he'd take him to jail! That shit DOES happen there!