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The BM is ‘in my house’ every night!

What_now's picture

Submitted by What_now on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 5:21am

SD9 has been visiting for 2½ months and talks to BM every night on Skype. DH brings his laptop in from the office every night and sets it up in ‘the sun room’, with an open view of the lounge and kitchen (entire living area). I got so sick of listening to BM’s voice every night and basically having her in my house, (she even commented on DH’s weight once: saying to SD to tell him to do some exercise) that I’ve started taking my DD2 and going to the bedroom when ‘The Skyping’ starts.

The other night I asked DH very politely if it is not possible to rather put the laptop in SD’s bedroom at night. Then we can close the door, BM doesn’t have a view of our house and SD can speak in private. He agreed but has not done anything about it. So when The Skyping (it’s like ‘The Shining’ – fills me with murderous thoughts -) started last night, I took DD and said “I’m going to the bedroom” and left. Get this: he got angry and sulky and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the evening. Whatever!!

Comments

PoisonApples's picture

Submitted by PoisonApples on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 7:04am

Why oh why did he let the skyping start in the first place and why every night?

I know BM will bring this up, wanting to video skype with them. SO and I have already agreed - the answer is HELL NO, it just isn't going to happen, no way, no how. We won't even let it get started. It's bad enough that we have to put up with her ridiculous phone calls. There is NO WAY she's going to have a video feed from our house to hers...over my dead body is the only way that will ever happen.

WHERESMYWART's picture

Submitted by WHERESMYWART on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 7:14am

I used to go to my bedroom when BM used to call SS's. I got so tired of listening to her talking(she has a loud voice) and then the boys answer the same question over and over. What are you doing? Did you eat? What did you eat? Are you in trouble? Blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!

She no longer calls my house because she is so crazy and is not allowed to have our numbers. Now she calls them at MIL house and tries to be all chummy with MIL.

tofurkey's picture

Submitted by tofurkey on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 7:35am

I don't see what the point is in this? When SD is with DH, it should be their time, not DH,SD,and BM's time. BM has her time with SD. They are a split family, these things are going to happen where they are just with one parent at a time. I don't think BM needs a play by play of what's going on with SD. She is with her father, not some stranger. I don't know how you do it, that would drive me nuts!

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 7:54am

What-now, the solution is quite easy - it is a laptop - you carry it into her room if DH does not - if she asks why tell her that you want her to have private time with her mom. THIS IS YOUR HOUSE - DO NOT START LETTING BM AND SD CONTROL WHERE YOU GO IN YOUR HOUSE!

The title of your blog says it all - MY HOUSE - now take it back and tell DH what the deal is because talking sweetly did not work tell him the computer is in SD's bedroom when she is skyping with her mother. End of story - period!! If he questions why tell him that you do not like that BM has an unadulterated view of your house every night - it is your house your rules.

Also SD does not need to skype every night with her mother - this is supposed to be bonding time with your DH - this is a control tactic that the BM is using to gain access and insight into your lives - none of her business. She also was out of line talking about your husband's weight - here again none of her business.

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 7:59am

I can't take credit for it - I read it yesterday on one of the threads and about 4 of us have now made it our tagline! I love it too! }:)