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boyfriends lady friend

welmade's picture

Submitted by welmade on Sat, 05/05/2012 - 8:13pm

My boyfriend An I just moved in together things are getting serious we have been talking there is a girl he used to date he apparently didn't see it going anywhere they had sexual relationship and broke up he wasgood friends with her until we started dating I informed him I was not comfortable with that texting talking on Facebook etc she e mailed him the other day asking why they cannot be friends he makes me feel as though I'm keeping him from friends and controlling. What should I do am I overacting or is it a valid concern?

Comments

sterlingsilver's picture

Submitted by sterlingsilver on Sat, 05/05/2012 - 8:28pm

You're not over reacting and it is a valid concern. I went thru the same thing when I first met SO. He always thought it was no big deal and she even "adopted" his son who was 12 at the time. She'd come over to help ss with homework and then SO would invite her to stay for dinner. It happened twice and on the third time I said "happy family time, I am going to visit my daughter. I will be back later when SHE"S gone". Maybe I over reacted too but it made me very uncomfortable how they acted like a family. It's not like that anymore but she still pops up once in awhile. IRKS me to no end but SO always tells me it's me he chose, not her. *sigh* I think ex gf are worse then ex wives at times Sad

IAmALady77's picture

Submitted by IAmALady77 on Sat, 05/05/2012 - 8:40pm

It would be mighty helpful if you would incorporate some punctuation into your blogs. People will be more prone to offer advice if it is easy to read your posts.

when you get super duper run on sentences that just go on and on and such like this without a pause for breath it makes it really hard to read and understand what you are saying know what I mean?

Other than that, I don't think you were over reacting. But I would have a sit down with the boyfriend and just hash out how you are feeling.

Having serious conversations when the problems first arise will definitely help your relationship in the long run Smile

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Sat, 05/05/2012 - 8:56pm

Been married for 12 yrs. And "girl" friends keep popping up everywhere. And he isn't forthcoming with them.

You aren't over reacting. My latest find has destroyed my trust in him.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Sat, 05/05/2012 - 10:25pm

My DH had a "friend" like that. I remember at the beginning we went to a club and her and her sister were there. The sister decided it was perfectly ok to ask my DH to dance since they were "all friends" and just loved each other so much. I am NOT a jealous person AT ALL...I told him, "sure, go ahead...I'm calling a cab". He was shocked! lol He tried to tell me how they were just friends, blah, blah, blah...I told him again "sure, go ahead...I'll call a cab...no problem." Needless to say, he didn't dance with her. Neither did he ever talk to her again. After a few years, we would sit and talk and I to this day bug him about it...you know what he says? He says that he knew I was serious, that he liked that I didn't EXPECT respect but instead DEMANDED respect...and that's when he realized that I was the one.

So, really, you need to put your foot down here. If his f#$%$#5ing buddy is more important to him than you, then he's not the guy for you. Any guy who truly loves you will know when it's time to stop talking to his "friend with benefits." Period.