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Sad to say...called that one!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

DH told me this evening that he had to go see HHB for a talk. Seems HHB and emo friend are now girlfriends...and I'm not talking about the kind you go hit up the mall with or cry over coffee and ice cream with! DH is...I don't even know if there is a word for it! Not happy is an understatement! I had to remind him that even though he doesn't agree with same-sex relationships, he needs to remember this IS his child! If he wants to have a relationship with her like he says he does, he can't go on and on about how he is against this relationship, or he will push her away. I left it at that!

I called this one! I'm pretty sure they were dating before, and then broke up for whatever reason. Why else would it have been sooooo important for HHB to go to emo's homecoming dance at a school HHB did not attend? So HHB is apparently bi-sexual...should make for interesting reactions from the entire family! Funny thing is, DH brought emo yesterday...we went to eat, and the place was hiring. DH commented that HHB should see them about a job, and I pointed out that SF would never drive her that far. DH said that she could get emo to drive her, because according to HHB, emo will take Her anywhere she wants to go! I told DH, "Have you ever bothered to look at emo's Facebook? You do know she's a lesbian, right?" DH was a bit shocked. Wonder if he flat out asked HHB about it today.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh and DH did make the comment, "Well, if she's dating girls, less chance of her getting pregnant!" I wanted to laugh...but didn't.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh, I know! Girl needs th Norplant! She would never remember to take the pill. Neither BM nor DH will take to get it, though.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

LOL...y'all have me laughing and cringing at the same time. I really wouldn't be so sure with these two...emo just turned 18. Of course, HHB will not be age of consent for about a month and a half...though I don't think anyone really cares about that! I'm pretty sure BM is being all supportive...has probably known for some time now, as I'm sure they probably started "dating" shortly after she moved back with BM. A long time friend of BM's is trans-sexual, and she has other friends who are LGBT. So to BM, it's no big deal.

Now, why I cringe? Well, y'all know HHB doesn't wipe her ass! Ewwwww!

Evil stepmonster's picture

EH you went there. Well that'ss chase off emo for sure and DH can rest knowing his little girl is no longer swinging to that side.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I don't think a lecture would work. The girl is seriously all about herself! She learned well from BM. I'm not even sure a kick to the face would be a wake up call! It is sad. Wonder if she treats emo like I've watched her treat boyfriends...all pushy and bossy!

tiny kitten's picture

Really, HBO? I'm always surprised when anything Aussie is acknowledged outside of Australia, and especially in the US.

Rags's picture

This should not be a big deal IMHO. My son (SS-22) came out to his mom and I a couple of years ago.

Like you, I was not surprised. His mom was floored.

He is my kid no less than he was before he came out. My comment to him at the time was "Son, life can be challenging enough and this will make it more so. Use your head, take care of yourself, and be safe. I just want you to have the opportunity of a happy life. Let me know what you need from me on this." And that was it.

He did throw me under the bus with his mom though. "Dad, I thought you had already told mom!!!" My wife looked at me with a very confused look on her face. Just before he graduated highschool he left some info (Porn) open on the computer that I saw when I was working from home for a few days. He was mortified and asked me not to tell his mom. I just told him then that his mom and I were there for him if he wanted to talk through anything. He said there was nothing to talk about and that he had just hit the wrong link. He was dating several girls at the time. I keep nothing from my bride, until then, but in that case I honored his request.

Sure I could make all kinds of moral judgements and take huge exception to it but the fact is I have suspected he is gay since he was ~5yo. I was actually relieved when he finally came out. He struggled with it for a number of years and I was worried he would cause himself notable depression and anxiety issues if he could not figure out how to have healthy SO relationships. He is much happier now that he is no longer struggling with trying to be something he is not. He is not the makeup, studded leather chaps, pride march kind of guy. He is very private and is not one to make a spectacle of himself so I forecast that he will not have a whole lot of social pushback on being gay.

Your DH will very likely find that the less of a big deal he makes over this the better off he will be with it.

tiny kitten's picture

Good on him. Coming out takes a lot of strength, even if you have supportive parents. My dearest friend is still struggling with coming out to his parents at nearly twenty-six.

Rags's picture

Our experience as a family with the comming out process has actually been pretty good. Even my USMC dad has no issue with it which I can say was a huge surprise to me. I thought he might be less than sensitive to the situation. Dad and my Skid go hiking together one weekend a month and are very close. Of course my mom is her usual "don't fuck with my grandson" supportive self and is the hairy eyeball from hell for anyone any of her GKs are dating. If Deema ain't happy with someone one of her GK's is dating then that GK is better off cutting their losses and finding another person to date let me tell you. Mom is a pistol.

The Sperm Clan on the otherhand are all morally and religiously outraged but the Skid for the most part wrote them off years ago so their perspective though upsetting to him is not a huge worry for him.

We are truly blessed to have the example and friendship of two amazing men who are gay. My wife's "work husband" in her early career and very close friend is gay. We are very close friends with he and his husband. A quick perspective aside .... father of a gay young man or not .... referring to a man as another man's husband is still a bit of a mental excersize for me. I am still growing in this part of my life's journey. Anyway, they are amazing examples for our son and cut him no slack about using his head and owning his life and success or failure in life. They keep him grounded in the reality that being gay is no excuse for anything in life and SS needs to own it and not be victim.

It broke my heart to see my son struggle with figuring it out during his late teens. I had his back but I also kept him well aware of the fact that he would be held accountable for his own efforts and decisions.

I hope your friend figures out how to navigate the process in a way that he can be okay with and move on to an opportunity of a happy life.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I agree...don't make a big deal of it. That is what I was telling DH yesterday. I know this girl...he makes a big deal of it, she will never talk to him again. Now, I know that would be an amazing thing for me, as a parent, I had to say this to DH. If it were my bios, I wouldn't let it change my relationship with them at all. Just the same, this doesn't change my relationship with HHB at all. Regardless of who she finds herself attracted to...male or female...the girl is lying, manipulative, self-centered, etc.

And that said, I can't help but feel this is another means of HHB getting attention and getting what she wants. Like a poster below said...emo gets some nookie, HHB gets a chauffeur! This girl has always been boy crazy up until now! She has always been very flirty around guys, and since those "assets" developed, she has been sure to stick those out as far as they go whenever there is a guy around. BS20's friends would come to the house, she would come bouncing out (literally) in the most skimpy outfit she had handy, being all giggly and trying to flirt with the friends. Now she is suddenly into girls? Seems to me, she is into anyone who will pay attention to her and has something to offer in return for her affections...rides, money, etc. I hate to say this...but dancing, swinging both ways...girl seems to be priming herself for the pole!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

MIL will be totally grossed out, and probably will not even talk to her any more. Sad, but this is the way I see that playing out.

And like I said before, seems the girl is just setting herself up for the pole. Hey, at least it would be a job, right?

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

This is not going to last long due to the hygiene issue!!!

Or maybe HHB will start cleaning herself? Doesn't matter! She's not at your house!! Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin

~ Moon

luchay's picture

Oh dear :sick: :sick: :sick: now that I really didn't need to be thinking about.....