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The WOB update...

WalkOnBy's picture

Lots of updates here in WOB land. LOTS!!!

First, DH and I had a fabulous time in NYC at the end of July. I came back, had to go out of town for work for two days, then came back and headed to a work conference in Washington, DC. Had a great time, got to see a few sites, all is good.

I noticed a few entries on our master Google calendar while I was gone – to wit:
• Pick up ASS
• ASSCollege Orientation
• ASSCollege classes start

I said nothing to DH about it until I got home, and even then, I waited a few days.

Yes, ladies, ASS is headed to college. While I was in DC, he called DH and told him that “after trying to make it” on his own (snorty, like he was doing THAT!) he has come to the realization that he needs an education if he wants to do “anything good in life.” This conversation took place last Wednesday evening. DH told ASS that he would need to get ahold of ASSCollege, see if he could still attend (he can), see if his scholarship was still available (it is), get ahold of the Financial Aid office to request an aid package (apparently that will happen today), and contact the housing office to make dorm arrangements (this will apparently also happen today).

ASS even made arrangements with Frank’s mom to stay until Saturday since DH is out of town this week from Wednesday to Friday. DH said, “I am not sure if I will bring him back here or take him to my mom’s” which elicited the stinky side eye from me – lol! ASS will be going to his grandparents for the 5 days between leaving Frank’s and going to ASSCollege.

I told DH that while I am pleased with the end result, I think this is really just another “I have no place to live” moment, but DH said he told ASS the same thing and that the same deal we initially offered him was still in play and ASS replied with “well, I wouldn’t be taking out loans if I wasn’t serious about it.” YUP – that’s right, apparently ASS CAN submit to authority and he CAN contribute to his own education.
I told DH that there will be no saving ASS if/when he doesn’t get a job on campus and doesn’t come up with his portion. DH agreed.

In Thing2 news, he texted me late Saturday night telling me he needed to talk to me but that he was very tired and would call me on Sunday. I immediately turned to DH and said, “he’s changed his mind about med school.” DH told me I was crazy, that it was probably something about the cat or a class or something like that. I knew it wasn’t and waited for his call. I was right.

Thing2 was practically in tears when he told me that the shadowing he has been doing all summer, as well as all the stress that he was having while studying for the MCAT was the reason for his depression and anxiety (he is my ADHD kid), that he realized he didn’t really want to go to med school and that he was afraid that he would disappoint me and Asshat if he told us he didn’t want to go.

I explained to him that I wanted him to be happy, that I didn’t care if he went to med school or not, and that it was far better for him to figure this out now than a year from now when he was in his first year. We talked about him taking the MCAT anyway (it’s scheduled for August 26 and he said he was planning on taking it anyway), and also about his new senior year strategy – hitting up the career center, getting ready to interview, blah blah blah. He sounded so much calmer than I have heard him in a long time.

He was/is nervous about telling Asshat and Money-Ka, but I assured him that all would be fine. I sure hope it is, but Asshat is one of those people who puts great emphasis on what station in life one holds.

Comments

Monchichi's picture

Wow, I honestly had my money on him mooching off someone else for a further 3-4 months before admitting he needs college.

hereiam's picture

I'm glad that ASS has seen some light, that must be a relief for your DH.

Med school is A LOT to handle and if Thing2 doesn't really want it, it's certainly best that he's figured that out now. Does he have any idea he wants to do?

WalkOnBy's picture

he is a microbiology major who really never wanted to practice medicine, but do research instead. He would like to work in a research lab. He is trying to decide whether he will work for a few years and then go to graduate school or take a gap year, study for the GRE and perhaps pursue a PhD??

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Ahh, I remember when I was SO afraid of telling my parents I was changing my mind about veterinary school. My entire life had revolved (pets and all) to becoming a vet--and then one day I realized it wasn't what I truly wanted to do.

Thing2 is a good kid, the fact that he was worried about it and had another strategy lined up before breaking the decision to you guys shows that he'll be fine. Since he's probably studied for it so hard already, taking it anyway is a good idea. This way his options are still open so he can see if it was just the test itself that freaked him out or if he truly doesn't wish to pursue it.

WalkOnBy's picture

He is a good kid, and I said almost the exact same thing to him - that he may change his mind in a few years and it's good to have options.

It's not noon yet, so he's not awake - I don't know the Asshat outcome. I will try to reach him a little later.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

My sister quit her job and went to culinary school and became a line cook... after getting a degree in Journalism.

My parents, luckily, didn't disown her (we're asian and our stereotypes are mostly true) but oh man, I think my dad didn't talk to her for WEEKS and they live in the same house.

Tuff Noogies's picture

well good for ASS for not taking too long in figuring this out...

and kudos again to you for raising such awesome kiddos. i hope asshat is reasonable with him.

notasm3's picture

I have three friends with PhDs who have spent their careers at med schools doing research. They have not been hindered in the least by not having a medical degree. I think their doctoral degrees actually served them better. One even became admissions director of a highly prestigious medical school.

WalkOnBy's picture

I would love for him to go the PhD route - he thinks he might like to work for a few years and see how that goes Wink

notasm3's picture

Working could be very beneficial. My friend that is the admissions director for a med school says that they often are looking for students who are a little older and more experienced. That's also true in many graduate programs too.