Maybe the boy is figuring things out as he gets older....

Background - my SM, Linda, is totally great and super awesome when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, all that stuff.  She sends the skids birthday cards with cash in them and buys them Christmas gifts - things my mom doesn't do anymore because she got tired of being ignored and not thanked for the gifts (and I am totally okay with the fact that she doesn't).

Over the last 6 plus years, getting them to say "thank you" has been a task for DH, and he has always described it as pulling teeth.  My dad and SM would get short and terse texts, BUT a coerced thank you is still a thank you.

Last Sunday, DH and the skids went to visit ASS because he turned 20 that day.  I did not go because I refuse to be around that kid unless and until he apologizes, which will likely never happen.  Earlier in the week, Linda had asked me for ASS's address at school so she could send him his birthday card.  

Sitting on my fireplace mantle since Christmas has been a tiny gift bag with a generous gas card and ice scraper from my dad and Linda for ASS.  DH has forgotten to take this up to ASS the previous three times he has visited, so I made sure it went with them on Sunday.

Last night, my dad calls to tell me that his nephrologist has finally isolated the cause of his super high blood pressure (which is great news) but he also called to tell me that he and Linda got a series of texts  from ASS thanking them profusely for the cash and the gas card.  That he really appreciates all of it.  That he understands they don't have to do it and yet they do.

My dad is not the kind of guy who heaps praise on people, especially people who are assholes to his daughter, so this was most surprising.  He said that he and Linda had a nice conversation with ASS via text and they were so happy that they got more than the cursory "thanks" they had gotten in the past.  My dad even used the word "heartfelt" - another word he rarely uses :-)  He wanted DH to know that this thank you was vastly different from the rest and that it had made an impact on him and Linda.  

I had DH on speakerphone so he could hear that part of the phone call.  After I got off the phone with my dad, I told DH that I was very happy and proud to hear what ASS had done and that maybe, just maybe, he is maturing a little bit.  I wondered out loud what drove the change.  I got a little teary eyed because it made my dad so happy and also because hearing about it from my dad made DH happy.  

DH said that when he gave ASS the gift bag on Sunday, he pulled DH aside and asked why my dad and Linda do that for him - why would someone he hardly knows send him birthday gifts and Christmas gifts?  DH said "because they think of you as their family and they want you to feel included."  

Clearly, that resonated with ASS as indicated in the text conversation back and forth with my dad and Linda.

Now, he is still an ASS as far as I am concerned, but it's nice to know that he is learning a little something about life from my husband.