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A little story about bread - OR - call me Jean Valjean!

WalkOnBy's picture

Saturday I went to the market to pick up groceries for the week. Apparently, we needed bread. I don't eat bread, so I never pay attention to whether or not we have any. I didn't know we needed bread, so I didn't get any.

There were a few things I couldn't find at my local market, so I made plans to go to another market later on that day or possibly on Sunday. I ended up going to the other market on Sunday, late in the afternoon.

Sunday morning, I wake up and make breakfast for DH and me. Eggs baked in avocadoes, topped with cheese and bacon, deeeeeelicious!!! DH likes toast, but I still hadn't gotten any bread, so I took an English muffin and popped it in the toaster. Sunday, around 4pm, I finally made it to the other grocery store and got bread.

Monday evening, I get home from work. I was going to make a meatloaf, so I reached up to the top of the fridge to get a piece of bread to put in the bottom of the loaf pan to soak up the grease. The bread bag was empty. Like only the two heels were left. I was like this - :jawdrop:

DH walked in to the kitchen as I was shaking my head and mumbling to myself. He said, "what's up?" I told him that I didn't know how, but that an entire loaf of bread had been consumed in one day??? He looked straight in my eyes and said, "well you didn't buy any bread."

I told him that, in fact, I HAD gotten some on Sunday when I went to the other market. He told me there was no way that BabyVoice and Karate Kid could have eaten an entire (giant) loaf of bread by themselves in roughly 24 hours, so obviously, while I thought I picked up bread, I really didn't. Again, I was like this - :jawdrop: (For background, Karate Kid gets up at 8, and is at work from 9-4 at the Tae Kwon Do studio, so I was pretty sure he hadn't wolfed down most of a loaf of bread before he left or after he got home. He has cash and a car, so he is always picking up lunch or a snack from Subway or any one of the other sandwich shops because he "doesn't like white bread.")

I walked away, went next door to borrow some bread and came back and finished up making dinner. While the meatloaf was in the oven, I found the receipt from the market trip in my purse, walked upstairs and put it on DH's desk.

Do you guys know that he looked at the receipt, scrutinizing it to find the date?

Like I would lie about a loaf of bread - lol!!

I just looked at him and said, "really? you're gonna go Disney a out a loaf of bread?"

Imagine if it really was something important????

Ugh...

By the way, there is STILL no bread in the house...

Comments

zerostepdrama's picture

Is it possible you left the bread at the store? Like forgot a bag?

I found it absurd that someone ate a whole loaf in one day. And it sounds like one person did???? Since the other is at work???

Did you address this issue? I mean that is a lot of bread to eat... what could it have possibly been used for? Sandwiches? French Toast? Grilled Cheese?

Did someone use it to feed ducks?

WalkOnBy's picture

Oh no, I didn't leave the bread at the store. You see, the bag was still there, because I saw the heels. Plus, I only got three things at the second grocery stop, and I remember taking said bread out of the bag and putting it on top of the fridge. I even got the super mushy white crap that the skids love.

Yeah, that is a lot of bread - a whole lot of bread.....

I am disengaged, so I told DH that all the bread was gone. His job to take it (or not) from here.

It is totally absurd. No bodies of water with ducks around us, so it wasn't that. I have no idea what BabyVoice did, but I am positive it involved a whole loaf of bread.

ksmom14's picture

Maybe your DH gorged himself on the bread and is hoping you just keep thinking it's the skids and won't suspect him! Wink lol

My SS14 has sat down and eaten 4 PB&J sandwiches at once before, that's like half a loaf right? I mean it's crazy to go thru an entire loaf of bread in 24 hours, but at least it's not expensive!

WalkOnBy's picture

DH only likes bread if it's toasted. Plus, he was at work from 7am to 6pm, so nope, not him - lol!!

You know those really giant loaves of white bread? That's what it was.

WalkOnBy's picture

BabyVoice doesn't have any friends, unfortunately. I take that back, she only has one friend, who happens to be in India right now...and is allergic to tree nuts, ironically.

Nope, no PB&J fest.

ETA - which would have been fine, but of course, DH didn't bother to get to the bottom of it. Nope, he would rather blame ME for not buying the damn bread than simply say, "hey guys, what happened to all the bread??"

Can't hurt the skids' fee fees, FFS :sick:

misSTEP's picture

That is what is actually annoying about the whole thing. He acts like HIS kids couldn't have done it without even ASKING them. But expects that YOU would lie about buying some to get those same kids in trouble! I swear, the mental gymnastics these Disney Dads go through. They spin so much, they would make great politicians if they were even halfway believable!

WalkOnBy's picture

Right??? it's so comical....

Had it been Thing1 or Thing2, I would have said (and HAVE said, actually) "dude, who ate all the bread? Ease up next time, save some for the rest of us" or something like that.

But NOPE - DH would rather spin himself silly. Okay, dude, you got me, I am lying to get them in trouble.

HA!!!

thinkthrice's picture

I went through the same thing. Dominatrix would routinely SLAM the door (gets this from both parents; they are like bulls in a china shop). WHAM!!! WHAM!!! BANG!!! Chef would stand right next to it and I swear the rushing air from the slamming would move his eyebrow hair.

Yet when I brought it up he would say "You're exaggerating, Dominatrix never slams doors!"

Tuff Noogies's picture

medusa's dad? i didnt realize they kept in contact much. i'd love to be a fly on the wall if the topic ever came up - "grandpa, why doesnt mom ever come see me?"

WalkOnBy's picture

Medusa hasn't spoken to her dad since the day DH left her sorry ASS...

Medusa did her best to make sure the skids hated him as much as she did. When DH first moved out, he moved in to one of MedusaDad's rentals...he would stay at MedusaDad's with the skids on his weekends. Drove Medusa NUTS and so she ran to the Court and got an ex parte order preventing DH from taking the skids to MedusaDad's house. She told the magistrate that MedusaDad "did things that were so horrible" to her when she was a child that she "feared for her children's lives."

Hearing ensued, Medusa's temp order was blown out of the water, but the damage to the skids had already been done. They were terrified of him because of the lies that she told them.

When DH got custody, I encouraged him to keep in touch with MedusaDad and to try to rebuild the relationship between the skids and MedusaDad and SM.

I totally regret that now because I can completely see why Medusa is such a self-centered ASShole narcissist. I have disengaged from all things MedusaDad related, after he called me a "n-word lover" at Christmas dinner last year. Pretty sure I blogged about that, but maybe not. He said the n-word, I asked him to please not use that word in my presence, and then he called me an n-word lover, slammed his hands down on the table, and damn near flipped it over, a la Theresa Guidice....

Anyway - Medusa has cut herself off from everyone on her dad's side of the family.

Tuff Noogies's picture

that's, just, um... wow.

over freaking bread! c'mon now, mr wob, get your head out of your @$$ and get real!

hereiam's picture

Next time, please video tape yourself at the store, buying the bread, driving bread home, and putting bread away. Date and time stamped, of course. Then get a nanny cam and point it at the bread.

When your DH still refutes it, hire an expert to prove that your evidence has not been tampered with; bring in a forensics team, if necessary. Send the bill to your DH.

I mean, seriously, he told you that you just THOUGHT you bought bread?

WalkOnBy's picture

:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

Salems Lot's picture

Dup

Salems Lot's picture

Dup

notasm3's picture

I used to live in a city that had a lot of Kroger and Walmart stores. No one ever said Kroger. You went to the "grocery store" which meant Kroger or to "Walmart".

WalkOnBy's picture

I live in a very fancy pants city in a very fancy pants suburban county. EVERYONE and their mother says "Krogers" or "Meijers."

Except me. I say "Kroger" "Meijer" or "the grocery" or "the market."

thinkthrice's picture

Babyvoice was probably just feeding the giant purple striped unicorns or perhaps the aerial peccaries.

WalkOnBy's picture

I don't know why, but you came to mind when I saw him do that. Like it is something your H would do???

notsobad's picture

I think the saddest thing about all of this is that if this wasn't a stepkid, you could have just asked "Who ate all the bread? Next time please leave some for everyone else." That would have been the end of it.

But noooooooooo, this is a stepkid and there are eggshells to be walked on.

WalkOnBy's picture

ASS used to live on peanut granola bars. Would ALWAYS leave the empty boxes in the pantry. I would NEVER buy them as we ran out, because to ME, if I see a box of something in the pantry, I assume there is still some of whatever that is in the box.

I got to the point where I did what you do - if I saw it was empty, I would toss it in the middle of the pantry room floor for DH to deal with.

Since ASS's departure, I don't experience empty box syndrome very much anymore, BUT we just went through "there's no cereal, Dad" because BabyVoice and KarateKid left empty cereal boxes in the pantry.