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What should I do???? a LITTLE ADVICE PLEASE!!!

vgill's picture

What do you do with a mouthy 14 year old SS who Skips school to go have unprotected sex with his 14 year old girlfriend!!!????? I know what I feel like doing but what is the right thing to do. He currently lives with Bm and has for the last 10 months for the first time since he was 3 and his behavior has consistantly gone down hill. He is so disrespectful and argumentitive and quite hateful, Bm doesn't help she gives into him because she doesn't want to fight with him and DH does the samething sometimes.. I have never met a kid that liked to fight soo much. I have made a slight breakthrough with BM this week, I called her sunday night and told her how I feel about her lack of parenting and how she needs to change a few things.... She did follow some of my advice after calling me a bitch behind my back( like I wouldn't know, but I ecpected as much)But tonight when she called to tell about SS skiping school, she wanted to talk to me not DH, and (get ready for it)asked for my advice on the situation, and follwed my advice....... I know GASP!!!!! But I could use a little help here to as a stepmom, where do I step in and were do I back off, and really what do I do with this kid!!!!!!! A little help please!!!

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Comments

buttercup123's picture

I agree with BLM. I'd also get the school involved. Truency isn't cool and the school can help with that aspect of it.

vgill's picture

Perhaps every one is right! I should just back off and let him go! I am soo tired of fighting with him and that's why he gets away with so much... he is such a bad fighter it is just easier to give in than to fight with him. I give up!! He and his brother are just lost causes. I am just going to focus on my 4 children, withthem at least I know that they will amount to something besides a spoiled little brat!!!

Gmama's picture

defenetly talk to her mom.. I have a 2 y/o grandson (that I lOVE to peices) but my son was 16 and she was 15 while they were expecting, I know my son is 100% at fault but when her mom told me she knew her daughter was sexually active I could of stangled her,, My Grandson is bueatiful, healthy, and as smart as can be, but it's now a group effort to raise him,and support him.

Angel72's picture

You have no control over this and yet you fret. I understand you care but you know what..he is going to have sex whether anyone likes it or not. The only thing you can do is give advice to bm and hope she takes it and you can get in touch with girls paretns and make it very clear to them that your ss is having sex with her and there is nothign you can do to stop him. Dad should have a talk with him about protected sex at least. So dad cna go buy him safes.

BMJen's picture

Well, I'll tell you what I did with my 14 year old son.

I took EVERYTHING out of his room, including his shoes and cloths right down to his designer underoos! Took it all..........he's not getting a thing back until he earns it by respect, good grades, etc.

So far so good. Wink

Of course, in this situation I'm the BM and have FC so it's easier for me to do the punishing. In your case if he lives with his BM your hands are a little tied. I'm glad she took some of your advice though, hopefully that's a start to a good future.

buttercup123's picture

You have your own kids that deserve your time and focus. I'd let DH deal with his spawn. If SS drives you nuts then just step back.

buttercup123's picture

You have your own kids that deserve your time and focus. I'd let DH deal with his spawn. If SS drives you nuts then just step back.