ya. You pretty described BM in my situation. But it was only $20,000 in hidden credit card debt. her fav store was Victoria Secret. He made about $14 an hour and worked long days and overtime and she just wouldn't work work. He let her pay all the bills with his paycheck he handed over. When I was cleaning out their maritial home after a good six years after their divorce, I would open drawers or books or look in boxes and there would be all these hidden credit card receipts for $40 in perfume or a rug. I asked him how dumb he could be. They have all these engraved bags from LL Bean. Drawers full of name brand very expensive clothes. I said, "how did you think you guys could afford that with you making $14 an hour and you eating a sandwich and a 25 cent bag of chips for lunch everyday?"

Well she left him for his rich best friend. And continues to shop all the time. All day long. Just thing after thing after thing. SD15 is just like her now. She's so materialistic and on shopping apps all day long. She's obsessed with Victoria secret Pink and Victoria Secret just like her mother. In fact she asked me to help her get a Victoria secret credit card. At 15! I told her dad I worried about what's going to happen to this kid when she turns 18. He said when he met her mom she had a maxed out credit card for every store in the mall at 21 years old

Bm has a shopping addiction, bf is passive and you bought the kids friendship. Yep, recipe for disaster.

Stick to your guns. My mom had a similar issue with my nephews when she went to visit. She started bringing a change jar for their "expenditures", they would have to count the money and then they could go get a treat with what they counted. It worked well for them.

I can relate. My SD (and SS on a lesser scale) are beyond spoiled by BM who is a waitress but shops like she is an heiress of some sort. This kid is always decked out in abercrombie kids, gap, nike... all brand name top of the line everything. BM has never rented or owned her own place, she just attaches like a leech to whoever she dates and when they break up runs home to her parents.

Anyway, at first I bonded with them through making purchases, although not anything on a large scale. I have toned that waaay down. I also enjoy shopping, but I pride myself on being thrifty and it is not an every weekend activity. Sometimes less really is more. Hopefully my step kids learn from me (doubtful but there is a chance).

You can use this situation to teach your SD the value of a dollar. Next time you go shopping, let her choose ONE clearance item. Or take her somewhere less expensive, like Target. There is nothing worse than label chasers. I used to drain my bank account when I was late teens/early 20's chasing labels and I never had anything to show for it.

These BMs and their shopping addictions are pathetic and it pleases me to know the BM I deal with will be the one stressed out and drowning in debt, despite the child support she rakes in - because she is too dumb to budget and manage her shopping habits.

BM in your case is just looking for someone to blame for her daughter's spoiled brat tendencies. Don't even feed into it. Kids need boundaries... what the f*ck is a shopping privilege anyway? Ridiculous.