I would NOT get in the middle of it. DH can write SS a letter and send it snail mail. Or drive over there and deliver it. Or set up another email account and email SS. Or dial *69 so his number is blocked. 

I would make those suggestions and that's as far as I'd get to "in the middle".

Because,  Because,  Because it will be all your fault.  They all will kiss and make up and you will be left out 

I wouldn’t get in the middle either. SS likely just needs to cool down & will come around on his own when he’s ready. 

As far as anyone helping SS financially in the future though, I genuinely hope they all stay firm on telling him no. His behaviour was deplorable. I still feel sick for his grandparents shelling out 3500 for an apartment that’s now sitting empty (I’m assuming it’s empty?) all because the prince wanted to live with his new bestie. How spoiled/entitled/horrible can you be?

As bad as your DH feels right now, this is a great lesson for both him & SS. The more he chases his son the more the lesson will be lost on him. This kid needs a dose of reality & your DH needs to remain firm. I can’t see SS shutting him out forever (at least I’d hope he wouldn’t). If they’ve always had a wonderful relationship, at some point SS is going to want to talk to his dad.

These enmeshed late adolescent MEN and their mothers. *shudder*.

My SS19 is just like this with BM, I'm sure she has access to everything of his, including his brain. I can't help but feel there is an underlying sexual component to these relationships too - may not be acted on, but it MUST be there, they are so like partners. It's gross.

Anyway, I wouldn't get in the middle. When my DH thinks SS has blocked him, he gets a "burner" number somehow that shows instead of his number when he texts.  For the record, SS doesn't block him, he just gets off on ignoring him, but at least DH knows he's gotten through with these fake numbers, because SS usually answers.

their daughters, they word for word talk her crap, nothing comes out of their mouth that is their own thinking and these are 14 & 22 yr old girls that bio mum palmed off the minor to sd22 to care for the past 2 yrs behind hubbies back because she suffered an imaginary illness of not being able to work that no specialists or xray could see anything beyond the perfect health she had

well the kids use the same narcissistic manipulative gultong tactic going dead silent for weeks months and hubby had to always message how they were, what you had for dinner but they could never make an effort to initiate or maintain contact, hubby simply wasn’t important despite him giving them an allowance to live comfortably

so i asked hubby why do that? All you do is buy their temporary attention but there is no respect or love they have for you, their behaviour clearly shows that and when they speak or message you its excuse after pathetic excuse, answering back and responding rudely. 

I asked him if you didn’t message them for a week or 2, would they even contact you? He knew the answer to that so he one dad when ss20 was coming back from uni, calls his dad 2pm on a friday asking daddy pick him up from uni immediately when he can use uber capably as before, his dad runs a whole bank, ss knew in advance when he’d finish uni but chose to message daddy last minute to guilt him to drop everything for him. Hubby told him to get an uber ride home and that he was to behave and say hi to me and he would have to spend time with our 2 kids (his half siblings aged 1.5 & 3) and babysit them on weekends.

guess what happened? No reply and he never came home. Under normal circumstances hubby would call and message him to ask why he hasn’t arrived home but hubby had enough!! He ignored him, came home to a wife that had cooked a lovely dinner, had an intimate time with her. 2 weeks later ss says he is so stressed our from his imaginary stress syndrom at being asked to be a respectful decent well mannered human and he needs more time... mind you he’s had 4 yrs, hubby wasn’t having any of this bullshit and said no, hubby was actually having a full on fight and argument woth him on the phone and realised then his kid has been playing and manipulating him all along. 

Well 2.5 months goes by no message from his 3 kids with ex except when needing favours and hubby went along with his life. The daughters went silent when hubby last told them their imaginary happy family time alone demanding to meet outside when they are perfectly capable of coming to our home was done as he could see they were intentionally excluding us with no care that we are part of hubbys family.

hubby does go to family weddings etc with his kids but i refuse to attend because i know our supposed direct trip turns into revolving around them like hubby is intentionally putting me and our kids in an uncomfortable situation we want to avoid.

he is starting to see the light but theres a lot of work still to be done

my feeling is if they are not decent, respectful and behave/participate as active members of our family, they are at the bottom of our priority regarding quality family time and we will not drop everything at a moments notice for them or change our plans for them everytime as they expect. Theres a bit of a power struggle now with them doing the same manipulation/guilt tactics that they learnt from bio mum but ss is scared shitless because he realised his time was up. His bullshit would no longer be tolerated and he lost privileges of locking his bedroom door and hubby would come in unannounced and this will not change until he has earnt the respect for his privacy and bedroom privileges again and he was forcibly made to spend time with our kids and sit outside. He did sometimes stay on sofa by himself on the phone but the thing thats changed is he came out and interacted a bit more. Its taken over 4 yrs to get here or 10 yrs after his parents divorce but it took 1 moment for hubby to lay down the law forcibly and say enough is enough. 

Next issue now is sd22, gets a $1000 monthly allowance from hubby, she just got her fulltime graduate job last week courtesy of hubbys contacts despite her unacceptable pathetic performance at interview that should have excluded her. Hubby told me last month he’s cutting her off financially cold turkey. One day soon he will just say i am no longer giving you an allowance as you have a fulltime job so you better work your arse off and save your money to survive just like the rest of the world does. This is the same daughter who lectured daddy that he had a responsibility to pay child support allowance to her as a 22 yr old, hubby said when he retired he wouldn’t but as long as he has a good job and can afford to he was happy to help a bit but really he wants to cut her off cold turkey, the hissy fot that follows after and the typical hubby abandoned them for me and our 2 kids will no doubt come up to which hubby can easily lay the facts that the girls ran away and cut off contact for 5 yrs and abandoned him, he met a lovely woman and had some more kids with her and these 2 minors are financially his responsibility until they are adults just like minor 14 yr old daughter with exwife...