last night was surprisingly calm. no arguing no nothing. of course, kaos was holed up on his xbox all night, but he didnt give dh crap about anything.

shocking, right?

dh and i had a nice conversation. i told him about how my dad handled my brother - he never yelled, he just calmly and firmly issued consequences every.single.time. and bro never changed. it took him 10 years to finally smarten up. dh says "yeah but your dad handling things cause no improvement whatsoever AND your brother hated him for it." EXACTLY. i think it's awesome that dh calls kaos out on his $#it, and i told him how very proud i am of him for that. but it's not proving to be effective with the kid, that he'll grow up with a ton of resentment for it. like that article says that mon referred me to - "It’s not as simple as giving the child a time out. A child with ODD won’t use the time out to change his thinking. He’ll use it to plot revenge. Parents need to change their parenting style and method of operation with the child."

so we talked about changing tactics, still point out the wrong behavior but then just walk away. dh is skeptical, but may give it a shot. it cant hurt to try! i dont know how well that'll go, it would take a lot not to fall back into the same escalation cycle, but for now i'm just going to sit back and let dh handle kaos.

another thing he mentioned is kaos went all weekend without his medication. this ramped up behavior could be a strong rebound effect maybe? idk. his med helps but not enough even tho' they doubled it last time. he goes back on fri, so we'll see what they say.

but all in all it was a pleasant evening, and thismorning went smoothly too - i didnt hear a peep! after he got kaos to the bus, dh crawled back in bed and got rewarded