SD’s list of complaints about DH
On Sunday night, DH said he mentioned to SS17 that they had been with us for 10 days. SS said, really? It hasn't felt like 10 days. DH said to me, oh yes it has, it's felt wayyy longer. Which is irritating, because he is the whole reason we had them for 10 days, and he doesn't realize that it's even harder for me than it is for him because these are NOT my kids!
Anyway, today DH took SD13 to her counseling appt (even though it's not his day to have her) because she wanted him to come so she could "tell him something". She had a whole list written in her phone.
1. DH doesn't "listen to her". He scolds her when she's telling a story that involves her doing something wrong (like yelling at a teacher) instead of just listening to her story. Crazy listens to her and doesn't yell at her, making her the better parent.
2. DH doesn't "do enough things" with SD. She usually has to initiate her daily need to play board games. And he doesn't constantly take her places. She said she even had Crazy send him a message telling him he should do more things with her, but since they don't get along it just turned Into a fight. Crazy's message was, quote: "You need to do more things with your daughter. What is wrong with you? She is depressed! Take her ice skating, or to get a manicure, do something other than play bored games (we assume that meant board games)!!!".
So, all the things we do- bowling, escape rooms, movies, endless dinners out, aren't enough, according to SD and Crazy. There needs to be ice skating and manicures every wknd or he isn't doing enough. Got it! We do more with her than anyone I know when they were her age. DH told SD, I am not your mom, and I don't parent like your mom- No I don't ask to play board games every day, and i am not your sole entertainment. Life is not just going to be full of going to do all fun things, sorry.
The amount of entitlement and ungratefulness is unreal. It makes me not want to do anything with her.
3. She also said she "gets ignored" when she comes downstairs. DH almost always turns to stare at her and asks what she's doing. She barely answers and runs back upstairs. We talk to her every time she spends any time downstairs. Just because we don't pause the TV every time she comes down to go to the bathroom? I honesty don't know WTF she wants, aside from all focus to be on her whether she wants it at that moment or not.
DH said the therapist kind of mediated the whole thing and pointed out that DH and Crazy weren't going to do everything the same. I'm trying to disengage from it all, but I'm also 1 ungrateful comment from SD away from letting her have it and telling her how lucky she is to have all she has and to be grateful for it, because she isn't ENTITLED to any of it.