Disengaging so far
Welp. Skids came to us Monday, and this is my first week of disengagement. DH wasn't going to even talk to SD14 about her telling Crazy that I write messages in OFW (lie), but it happened anyway. She told DH she made an appt with her new guidance counselor to "talk to her about her foreign exchange program". DH laughed and said, you're joking right? She asked why that was funny and he told her she was out of her mind if she thought her behavior warranted us agreeing to let her be an exchange student. He said, don't forget that Truenorth and I have to give you permission and right now we wouldn't do that because your attitude is shit.
Then he went off on her about telling Crazy I write messages in OFW, and asked why she would ever say or think that. SD said "well she could write messages when you're sleeping...". DH was big mad and said No, we don't want to talk to your mom! We don't care about her, and that would only be more contact with her! He told her I don't even have access to OFW so that I don't have to be exposed to the crap written on there. He told her that I spent so much time looking for homecoming dresses for her and helping find Info about her exchange program, buying bras, and this is what she does? He told her I don't have to do any of that for her and he's told me not to do it anymore. I have to say, I'm a bit surprised at how much he has my back on this, but also extremely happy. I don't want it to be this way. But it's way easier when he's not fighting me.
I planned to be cordial to SD, but so far we have said about 3 words to each other. I have nothing to give right now, I'm just over it. DH also hasn't had much to say to her, but it has been awkward when she's around.
But wouldn't you know it, now that the Contempt of Court case seems to have gone nowhere, Crazy is back to messaging every day. Asking DH to pay for everything for SD, and other stupid shit. Today it was saying that SD called her and "was crying because she's afraid she will have to walk to school from our house sometimes and it's too far with her heavy book bag, and I agree". It's 7 blocks. How about you worry about what happens on your time? Just because you think 7 blocks is too far to walk, doesn't mean it is. Also, I could have given her a ride, but nope- you made sure to alienate her and now you got exactly what you wanted, SD completely on your side, so she doesn't get rides from me. Sorry not sorry.
I honestly don't see how we will make it through 4 more years of this crap with Crazy. All inhibitions are gone and she's right back to constantly messaging now that she knows nothing will happen.